Agnosia
by distantsilhouette1999
Summary: The world has been in a war for hundreds of years now. All because of the Fire Nation. Seventeen year old Katara Kalan has always been known in her tribe as the strongest and most powerful fighter. Being blessed with the power to bend water, and being the last one, an unlikely source seeks help from her. Katara is being forced to murder the Fire Lord. ZUTARA.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys, so this is the first chapter. Please review & tell me what you thought, the more reviews, the quicker the next chapter will come**

**Short Synopsis:**

**The world has been in a war for hundreds of years now. All because of the Fire Nation. Seventeen year old Katara Kalan has always been known in her tribe as the strongest and most powerful fighter. Being blessed with the power to bend water, and being the last one, an unlikely source seeks help from her. Katara is being forced to murder the Fire Lord. Little does she know murdering him isn't going to be that simple.**

**Enjoy! Don't forget to review!**

* * *

I carry the vial of healing water towards the woman. Her face is contorted in pain as her eyes flutter open. Her eyes widen in shock when she sees me. I try to calm her down. I haven't healed in a while, it's been years in fact, but I can still do it. I can.

I crouch down beside her and brush the hair sticking to her forehead behind. She's elderly and reminds me of my grandmother which causes a shiver to roll through me. I lean down close to her, she winces from the pain, "Shh," I whisper softly.

It's been so long where since I've been needed to be comforting, the action is foreign to me. I roll my sleeves up and help the woman remove the bindings from her stomach. I try not to wince when I see the burnt flesh, but I narrow my eyes at the sight. Her breathing is shallow.

I bend the water from the vial and look over at the woman, "This is going to sting, hang in there." I say quietly. As I place the water on her stomach, her entire body jerks forwards. I hold her down my available hand, "Please, I need you to stay still."

Her face is pale as a sheet and she's sweating. Her tears mix with the beads of sweat lining her forehead. She lets out a yelp as I press both hands down on her stomach. I shut my eyes tightly focusing all my attention on the water in my hands. Imagining it healing her, imagining the flesh being rid of the black ashes.

I squeeze my eyes shut harder, trying not to think about the fact that she's elderly. _Please. Please heal her. _I open my eyes. She's taking in sharp breaths and she's struggling so much. I look down at her wound. I bend more water and press my hands down harder. A sob escapes from her lips. She whimpers and I hold my breath. She won't last much longer if this doesn't work.

Someone enters the tent form behind me. I feel a gust of cold air but I don't dare avert my concentration.

"Katara, we need you-"

I shake my head at the urgency in Sokka's voice. No. Not now.

"Katara-" His voice is on edge and I know something's happened.

I'm having trouble focusing.

"There's been an attack!" He yells at me. I feel my blood run cold and my hands shake as I open my eyes. She's stopped struggling. I inhale deeply as I look up at her eyes. They're open. Empty, lifeless. I couldn't save her.

I feel my throat begin to close up, "I'm sorry." I whisper.

I stand up on my shaking legs. I have never showed emotions in years, it won't happen now. It won't. I turn away from her and grab my bow and arrow and sling it over my shoulder. I place my sword in its sheath and put on my wrappings.

I don't glance back at the woman as I run out the tent. Sokka's already far ahead of me. I run faster so I'm beside him, "Where is it?" I ask through my heavy breaths.

Sokka points in front of him. I see a fire nation ship floating near the tribes. I inhale sharply. They're going to pay. I can already see the soldiers lined in their red armor, "Split up!" Sokka yells and we part ways.

Bending is useless in these attacks. The fire nation brings captive whoever they see bending. I am the last water bender. I am the hope for my tribe. The last hope. I push back a strand of my hair and sprint straight into the open field.

There are soldiers who are already coming towards me, but I'm ready. I pull out my bow and sprint further and shoot. Two guards down with one arrow. I load my bow and shoot. It hits another guard directly in the chest. A soldier comes towards me with his sword. He swings it and I duck and kick his feet out from under him, planting one of my many daggers in his chest.

I hear a child scream and it knocks me off my streak. She's being dragged away from by one of the soldiers. Anger pulses through me and I'm sprinting, feeling the eyes of many on me. I grab my sword and swing at the soldier. It cuts him clean across his lower abdomen. His hand wraps around his stomach but he pulls out his sword.

A ferocious expression marks his face and he swing with me, full force. Another soldier grabs me from behind and plants a dagger into my shoulder. I don't register the pain as I swing out form beneath his grasp and shoot right at his chest. I turn back to the soldier and there's a fear that sparks in his eyes as I flip the dagger in my hand. It goes through his neck, I ignore the cracking noise it makes as the point comes out from behind his neck.

I scoop the little boy up in my arms and sprint to the woman who's screaming. I shove him to her, "Take him, take him as far away as you can, take this and run. Don't look back." I hand her the child and a dagger and shove her and she runs.

I turn back, some of the soldiers are turning back. The pain in my shoulder is affecting my aim as I shoot another bow, it hits his shoulder instead of his chest. It's a life and death situation really, but I don't let it bother me.

Instead I sprint up to the fire nation ship. If I can just-

Someone grabs me, pulling me down to the ground. I grunt and elbow him hard in the mouth. His blood splatters on the snow beneath my feet. I dig a dagger deep into his spine and he's down. It's not part of the plan, but it'll eliminate any survivors form the fire nation.

They deserve it.

I slip into the ship before anyone spots me. I sprint down the long hallway to the control room. I stand behind the door and aim my arrow, taking a silent breath, I hit the captain in the spine. I step out from behind the wall to hear him struggling.

"Who- who are you?" He gasps, his blood pooling around him on the floor.

I don't answer him. I bend the water from my belt and slash it over the entire control panel. The ship makes a loud creaking noise. It's enough that'll prevent them from ever going back. I glance at the captain and watch as the light leaves his eyes. Serves him right. I pull out a dagger with my initials carved into it.

I crouch down beside the captain and push the dagger deep into his spine. Marking my territory. I don't turn back as I run out the ship. Sokka and his army have finished off the rest of the soldiers. Some of them are running to the ship. I stand back watching the cowards retreat. It doesn't take them very long to realize something's not right.

We kill them with no problem whatsoever.

I help Chan with the fire; his hands shake as he tries to light it. I hold out my hand, "Here, let me," He glances up at me, his blue eyes luminous above the flames, and hands me the stone. I have a fire going in no time.

I warm my hands and place my weapons in a pile beside me. Gran-Gran is already walking towards me, her face lined with anxiousness. Her expression is usually calm, she's well practiced in the art of losing herself, like me. But when it comes to Sokka and us she becomes the parents we've both lacked for years.

"Where is it? Where were you wounded?"

I sigh, "I'm fine, it was ju-"

She's already sitting beside me, pulling up my sleeve. I wince as she presses her cold hands to the wound. I flush as Chan averts his gaze. Seeing me so vulnerable is something no one is used to around here. She wets a cloth and places it on the wound. It burns but I keep my eyes open, staring at the fire. I try to forget about the old woman from this morning.

Gran-Gran shakes her head and sighs quietly, "The attacks are getting worse," She presses harder on the wound.

I ask her the question that I'm so used to asking about now; it doesn't even seem like a question, "How do you think father's holding up?"

She wipes gently at the wound and I can tell Chan's listening intently, his father also left with the fleet to help with the attacks against the fire nation, "I'm not sure," She finally replies softly. Her eyes are filled with dread and the sinking knowledge of absolutely nothing when it comes to father.

Gran-Gran wraps my shoulder and then pulls my cloth back down over it, "Come in for dinner." She glances at Chan, "You too."

She leaves quietly without another word. I swallow the guilt I still feel about the old woman and look up at Chan over the flames. He's been my friend ever since we were young. But these past few days, he's seemed…distant.

"How're you holding up?" I ask him.

He swallows, "Fine, how's your shoulder?"

The wound in my shoulder is nothing compared to the many injuries I've been faced with, I just shrug in response. There's a beat of silence between us.

"What do you think they want?" He finally asks.

I grab a stick off the ground, snap it in half and toss it into the fire, "Me." I say, "The last water bender."

"How do they know- I thought your mother-" His voice gets caught on the word.

I stare into the flames, "There's plenty of ways they could've found out. They obviously had to know mother wasn't the last water bender, that's why they killed her." My voice is dry, stripped of emotion. Normal.

"And now they're after me."

Chan breathes heavily, "Why do they even want the water benders-"

"They're the fire nation," My voice is cold. My hatred for the fire nation runs deep into my core. "They don't need a reason to kill." I snap another branch and throw it to the ground, stepping on it. I get up from the log I'm sitting on and nod my head in the direction of the tents.

"We should go get some dinner."

I eat quietly next to Sokka as he eats noisily. The elders are having another heated conversation at the other side of the room. It's a usual practice now and there's nothing I can do to help it. There are only the elders and us. The kids.

Although I'm practically an adult, at seventeen, I sure don't feel like one.

That night, I lie in my bed and drift off to sleep, only to be awoken by a countless number of nightmares about the attacks and the old woman. I wipe the sweat off of my forehead for the fourth time that night and lie back down on the bed and shut my eyes trying to calm myself down.

The dreams seem to be getting worse as each night passes. I wrap my arms around my knees and bury my head in my knees. I miss dad and mom. I miss having them here together. The fire nation tore our family apart, with mom dad and dad out in war. They've ruined my life and many others. I hate the nation with a passion. They deserve to burn in the flames they've created.

The next morning, I'm out before the sun rises. I step out of my tent, breathing in the crisp morning air. Its morning's like these where I hate the fire nation the most, knowing this is the peace and serenity they are willing to destroy. It's disgusting.

I button up my parka, pulling the collar up to cover my mouth. The wound in my shoulder cries out in pain with each simple movement, but I've learned to completely ignore pain. I walk down to the colony tents. Numerous tents are destroyed, burnt, left in ashes. No one was killed, but there were many that were injured.

I'm the only healer left here. Although, Gran Gran doesn't approve of me healing people with my bending. She insists she can handle it all on her own- without bending. It makes me uncomfortable knowing how much responsibility she's being force to take up because of dad's missing presence.

I pull my sleeves back slightly to make some room to work. I pull a dagger out from the lining of my boot, whipping it through the air a few times. I bend down next to the watering hole that froze over again. I bury the knife deep into the ice and carve around it, pulling it out and digging it in deeper. The fish are always out in the early mornings.

Sometimes I wonder if all that I'm doing is even worth it. All my training, all my practicing. It never seems to be helping out at all. I bury the knife even deeper into the ice. Nothing in this damn world seems to be helping. It's just suddenly as if-

"Katara?"

I whirl around to meet bright blue eyes. Chan.

I brush the stray hair off my forehead, "Hey." The sun is starting to rise, I can see Chan's face accentuated by the brightness of the sun reflecting off him.

"What are you doing?" He glances at me and then at the dagger in my hand. I stab it into the ground again and begin carving out a circle.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" I pull the gloves off my hands and carefully remove the chunk of ice I cut out and toss it to the side, narrowly missing Chan. He gives me a blank stare before holding out his hand for the dagger, "Here, let me."

I don't give him the dagger. Instead, I begin digging even deeper into the hole I've created which is unnecessary because I can easily hunt with the size I have. He watches me for a long time, a tight expression locks his face. He finally crosses his arms over his chest, the hood of the parka flies off his head, revealing his light brown hair.

"No one died," He says softly, "You know that right?"

Irritation digs in me and I grip the dagger harder. A fish swims by, "I know." I reply. I reach over and grab my pole and stand up, narrowing my eyes at the hole, waiting for another fish to swim by.

"There are just a couple of injuries."

There a tight feeling in my chest as I glance up at him. I shake my head slowly, "It's not _just_ a couple of injures Chan."

He glances past my shoulder before fixing his gaze on me again. I can tell he doesn't know what to say next. There's a swishing sound and I bring the pole down, ignoring the pain in my shoulder, cutting right through the center of a large fish. I pull it out carefully, tear it off of the pole and toss it on the snow. It slides slightly, its blood marking the white snow.

"Hey," He starts, his voice hesitant. I turn around to face him.

He nods in the direction behind him, "Let's duel, it always tends to cool you down." There's a hint of a smile on his face.

I don't protest as I follow him towards the hut with the assortment of weapons. A part of me knows he's right. Just the smell of the leather and tarp makes my muscles relax. I grab a sword with a thick black leather sheath. I follow Chan out the hut as we both take our stances.

I dig the heels of my boots into the snow as I withdraw the sword. If there's one person that can actually pose a threat to me, it's Chan. Although I'm known by this tribe as the strongest warrior; Chan's not far behind me.

He pulls the hair back off his forehead so I can clearly see his blue eye, the left side of his lips curls up as he watches me, "You ready?"

I lean back on the heels of my feet and swing; he's quick on his feet as he easily dodges the swing. He steps out from behind the swing and grasps the sword in his hand. He swings his sword at me and I dodged it, bringing my sword out from behind me. I strike directly at his chest and he takes a step back. _Wrong. You never take a step back._

Chan knows his mistake, but he recovers quickly as he jumps over another swing and grasps the handle of my sword. I swing with my fist, aiming for his jaw; I pull back slightly before it makes contact too hard. Still, Chan grunts and throws his weight against me. I'm shoved back but I regain my balance as I kick the insides of his knees hard, he falls to his knees.

I grab his sword before he can reach for it and I kick it out of his reach. He grabs at thin air. He gets right back up, taking a step away from me. He punches me hard in the stomach and my breath escapes me for a few moments. I don't let it get advantage of me; I take his unsteadiness to my advantage and kick him hard in the back.

He grunts and says something. I can't hear him. I pull my foot back to kick him once more, he rolls over and catches my foot before I can kick him. I wait for me to feel the impact of me landing flat on my back on the snow, but it doesn't come.

Chan holds my foot, his eyebrows suddenly drawn in. His cheek is scraped badly but I'm sure that's the least of his worries. He gently lets my foot go and I open my mouth to say something, he raises a finger to his lips and gets up.

He pulls himself up off the ground and grabs the sleeve of my parka, "A ship landed." He says in a soft voice beside my ear.

I shiver at the thought of another attack so close to the one before, "Spirits Chan, how do you know?" I whisper through gritted teeth, trying to control my breathing.

He gives me a sideways glance before pulling me to follow him, "The vibrations, a ship landed near the colonies."

I try to clear my thoughts trying to think of a logical answer for this. There was an attack before, never has there been an attack so close. I shake my head and stop walking, "It's not an attack."

He slows and glances back at me.

I shove my sword back into its sheath, "It can't be an attack. It doesn't make sense for the fire nation to be coming this quick without another motive. It's not them."

He stares at me for a long time as I begin walking away.

"Where are you going?"

"I have a hunch that-" My sentence is cut off short when I hear voices. I push myself up against the wall of the weapons hut. Chan follows my movements swiftly, leaning against the wall beside me. He narrows his eyes, concentrating as he tries to make out the words.

The sounds of footprints against the snow can be heard from where we're sitting. I listen for a few moments. There are about four of them by the sounds of it. The footsteps are hefty but uncertain of their surroundings. It's not the fire nation.

I press myself further against the wall, holding my breath. I shut my eyes trying to make out any words. There are a few mutters of disagreement. Then, a new set of footsteps. Light, agile, aware. One of us. Then I hear her voice, "Come in," she says softly, but in the natural authoritive tone I've heard far too many times, "You must be cold."

Gran Gran.

By the sound of her voice, she's not happy to see whoever these people are. I'm getting up on my feet before Chan tugs me down, "Wait," He says in a low voice, "Let them talk."

I listen to him, which is rare to say the least. They enter the tent across from us, so they're still not in our line of sight. When I hear the door shut, Chan and I creep our way over to the tent and we lean against the back tarp, our ears pressed up against the tent.

I can hear low voices; I strain to hear something- anything of this conversation. I catch fragments of the conversation.

"-it's not something we wanted to do-" A female voice.

A few murmurs I can't make out.

"-it's not much of decision-"

"-the longer this goes on-"

Frustration sweeps through me. What are they talking about?

"How dare you," Gran Gran's voice.

"Sometimes-" I hear Gran Gran speak. Her voice cold like I've never heard it before, "I wonder which side of this war you're on." She doesn't bother keeping her voice low. There's the sound of a fist slamming on a table. I lean my ear against the tarp. Someone swears.

"-She's the only one-"

"We can guarantee her safety."

There's suddenly too many speaking at once.

"She'll be safe."

"It's the only way-"

"-Our last hope-" I cling to those words.

There's an eerie silence and then a thunderous yell, "No!" I bite down hard on my lip. It's Gran Gran. She has never yelled before. I'm up on my feet, shoving past Chan, pushing past the tarp of the entryway into the tent.

I stand in the center of the tent, eyes all centered on me and me only. I hear someone gasp. I take in my surroundings. Four people, three men and a woman. Definitely not fire nation. I can't make out what nation they're from. Their clothing is black, head to toe. The woman watches me steadily, her grey eyes fixed on mine. A shiver runs down my spine.

Gran Gran is already by my side, "You shouldn't have come here Katara-"

"What's going on?" My voice is a yell compared to Gran Gran's sudden soft voice.

Everyone in the room glances at each other. There's a silence I can't bear as Chan enters the tent. No one glances at him and I suddenly feel unease filling my stomach. Still, I stand tall as I look from Gran Gran to the unknown guests. I turn to her, "Who are they?" I ask her in a low voice.

I search her eyes. They're wary like I've never seen them before. As if all the stress and pressure has finally caught up to her. There's a lump forming in my throat. Before I think about what to say, I have my sword out, pointing to the woman who still watches me from her seat.

She doesn't flinch once, as if she doesn't believe that a girl like me could have the courage to use it, "Who are you?" I ask her, my voice low.

Her grey eyes shift for a brief moment to the three men around her and they stand up, by her side. Pathetic. She has bodyguards, "Lower your weapon." One man with a short beard says to me. I glance up at him and resist the impulse to laugh in his face. Me. Lower my weapon. Not a chance.

I glance at Chan, who's watching everything, as confused as I am.

Gran Gran stares at the bodyguards, her lips pulled into a tight line across her face. I suddenly can't take the question any longer. I slam my fist on the table in front of me, "What the hell is going on here?" I yell.

The woman's lips form a tight smile, "You must be Katara." Her hair is short and blonde, her lips painted with red. There's something about this woman I have the impulse to hate.

Gran Gran clears her throat, "Katara," Her voice is strained, "I think it's time I've introduced you to some of our…friends." She sighs heavily, "Put your sword away."

I don't take my eyes off the woman, "Not until you tell me who they are and why they're here."

There's a silence in the room that speaks louder than any words that could ever be spoken. I try not to feel myself growing dizzy, "What is it? What's happened?"

The woman stands up suddenly, her placid expression watching me, she holds out her hand, "My name is Jane Waters,"

I stare at her hand.

"I'm the leader of the nationless."

I take a deep breath and stare right into her eyes, "There's no such thing."

She tilts her head and smiles again, "I can assure you Katara, there is." She glances at her hand still floating in midair before dropping it, realizing I'm in no mood for friendly greetings, "As I was saying, I'm the leader of all the nationless. In other words, all of those who have been banished or have left their Kingdoms."

She leans back against the table, her pale hands wrapping around the edges of it, "I've been a long time…friend of your nation. It really is a pleasure to meet you, Katara. I've been waiting to meet you for a long time."

I cross my arms over my chest and glance at Gran Gran, who's wearing an unreadable expression. Chan stands back, his eyebrows drawn in, watching the whole show.

"I figure you're not someone for introductions, so let's get to the point, shall we?" She narrows her eyes slightly, "As you know, the fire nation has declared war against every single nation. There's chaos spreading all over this world and it's because of one person in specific-"

"The Fire Lord," I cut her off.

She nods, "He has recently passed away, you must have heard?"

I nod in response to her question, "His son took his place."

She examines the nails on her fingers, painted red like her lipstick, "Precisley. We have given this new fire lord time. Time to do the right thing. Time to change things. Time to bring the nations back together and stop this war." She slams her hand, palm down on the table.

"_Nothing_ has changed, nothing. And we must put a stop to this."

I don't know which side she's on. I'm having trouble reading the words she offers me.

"I'm sure you agree with this Katara?" She asks me, her eyes focusing on mine.

I don't hesitate for a moment, "Of course."

"You would like to help take the fire lord down? Put an end to this war? Am I correct?"

I steady my gaze, but don't dear bring my guard down, "I'm listening."

She smiles again, "If I'm correct, you are the last water bender left in this nation." She says it like a statement, not like a question, so I don't bother answering. Her grey eyes watch me, analyze me, "That's why, we want you Katara."

Gran Gran opens her mouth to say something, Jane holds up an authoritive hand for silence, "Now before I give you any details, I need to know where your priorities lie."

I shift my weight.

"Are you willing to help us in taking down the fire lord?"

I nod, "I've already agreed to that."

She combs her fingers through her blonde hair, "Our plan is to send you into the heart of the fire nation. Send you to become an elite soldier in their army. From there, we will assist you in every possible way we can, in taking down the fire lord. As you know, the fire nation is ever dedicated to their fire lord, but since the new fire lord, is young and not yet trusted at the most by his nation, he is ever vulnerable to our attacks."

I clench my hands into fists, "You want me to go to the fire nation and murder the fire lord?" My voice is tight. Just the thought of the fire nation makes me feel uncomfortable. Being sent there? It was something unimaginable.

She nods, "Exactly."

And the only thought that comes into my mind is selfish, "Why me?" I say aloud, "What makes you think I'll trust you? You and your group that I've never even heard existed before this?"

She leans back against the table; her grey eyes don't seem at all conflicted. It makes me uncomfortable. I can usually read everyone's expressions. I can easily analyze what thoughts are going on in their minds. But I can't read her. She's a blank slate to me.

"You are the only water bender left, which is a great area of strength to us and a great area of vulnerability to the fire nation. You must see our reasoning for choosing you. In reference to your question about trust, we can't make you trust us. That's something you'll have to decide for yourself."

I narrow my eyes at her, "How do I know that you don't have another motive? Other than ending this world?"

She watches me then smiles, "You're a smart one Katara, I give you that." She crosses a leg over the other, "What other motive could we have? We don't belong to any nation; we have nothing that ties us to this world. What other possible reason could we have to murder the fire lord other than ending this war?"

She leans forward a bit, "You may not realize this Katara, but you coming with us and listening to our instructions is in the best of your interest," Her eyes gleam ever so slightly. I glance at Gran Gran, her face is hard. She's angry.

I feel my insides tighten, "What makes you so sure I'll come with you?"

"I am positive you will come with us," She says in a low voice.

Her words test my patience, "I wouldn't be so sure if I was you."

She smiles again, "Oh really? Before I tell you what I'm about to tell you, I need you to remember who the real enemy is," Her voice is suddenly soft, as if I'm a child she's speaking to, "Can you do that?"

She searches my eyes for a moment before speaking, "I had a feeling we would need to take some extra precautions before asking you, but I can assure you, that's all they are. Extra precautions and nothing more. If you follow our instructions, you'll have what you want."

If there was even a sliver of me that liked this woman, it burnt to ashes right there.

"We are holding your father and some of his other soldiers captive until the fire lord has been taken down successfully."

My insides collapse. And it's smart- so very smart of Chan and Gran Gran to hold me back because I would have done some serious damage that I probably wasn't going to regret, "How dare you!" I seeth.

She doesn't seem affected at all by what she said. Instead she stands up straight and looks directly at me. The nerve of this woman, "I'm sure you'll…reconsider your decision. Until then, your Grandmother has gratefully offered us a place to stay. We'll discuss this over dinner."

She pulls aside the tarp in one quick movement and her and her lackey's are gone. Their presence lingers in the room. Only then do Gran Gran and Chan release me. Anger is pulsing through every single vein in my body, I'm afraid I'll explode.

"I'll kill her!"

Gran Gran watches me, "You need to calm down."

I glare at her, "How dare you let her in! Gran-"

"Stop it Katara," Her voice is calm.

I slam my fist on the table, "She took dad from us and you're telling me to calm down?" I whip my head at Chan for some support. He's looking down at the ground, his face pale, strangely quiet. I try to calm my erratic breathing.

"You're not going Katara, if that's what you're thinking." Gran Gran says quietly.

I place a hand to my forehead, trying to calm down, "I have to go."

She looks up at me, "No you don't, we'll- we'll figure something out."

I turn to face her, "There's nothing to figure out, I have to go," My voice sounds hoarse from screaming.

"No you don't." Chan finally speaks up. I look up at him, "What are you talking about? My father is being held-"

"I'll go- someone else will go in your place."

I grit my teeth, "You heard her! I'm the last water bender! They don't want anyone else to go, they want me!"

His face turns slightly red, "You're not going."

"Oh well, than I suppose you have another genius plan to get my father back? To end this war?"

He narrows his eyes at the ground, "You're not going."

I glare at him, "Why don't you guys understand this? Them having dad changes everything! Do you think I would've agreed to this suicide mission for no reason? They have him, and I have to get him back."

Chan clenches his jaw, "If they discover you, they will _murder_ you."

I watch him for a moment, "I know," I say. Gran Gran sits with her head in her hands. I crouch down beside her, "I'll get dad back, I promise Gran Gran."

She stares at me, "No, you won't Katara. I can't lose someone else. We'll think of something else."

I feel my throat begin to close up and frustration filled me, "They're leaving tonight! If we don't give them the answer they want, they will kill dad!"

She shakes her head, confliction filling every part of her, "I can't let you do this."

I stand back up, shaking slightly from the anger within me, "I don't need your permission," I say coldly. I grab my sword and rip the tarp out of my way and storm to my tent. I throw my sword on the floor and collapse onto my cot, holding my head in my hands.

* * *

**What do you guys think of Jane? Is she good or bad? Please Review if you want the new chapter quickly! There will be Zutara soon enough, I just have to build up the story a bit! REVIEW PLEASE!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for leaving some reviews! A lot of you have been questioning Jane and why Katara would even believe her, but its because Katara doesn't have a choice. Jane's character will unravel soon, so keep reading!**

* * *

Part of me just wants to murder her and her lackey's in their tents right now, but it won't do anything. I still won't have dad back. I shut my eyes tightly trying to concentrate. They won't take anyone else- even I know that. I understand their reasoning and it makes perfect sense which makes all this even worse.

_Remember who the real enemy is. _

I press the palms of my head to my forehead. We all have a common enemy, the Fire Lord. My anger aside, we both want the fire lord dead. Would I have agreed even if they didn't have father? Probably. But them having father just makes me furious. I really don't have a choice. I have to go with them.

Dinner arrives faster than I would have wanted. No one disturbed me ever since I stormed out of that tent. I pull on my parka and sit in front of my mirror for a while. It's a small cracked piece, between my cot and the wooden box that holds my clothes. I stare at my reflection. It's something I don't do very often.

I take a deep breath and stand up, pulling my hair back as I step out of my tent. I walk in the faint darkness towards the tent where we eat all our meals every day. But this meal feels different. There's nothing safe left about this tent. Maybe there could be if the fire lord was dead. It would be safe if the fire lord was dead, I correct myself.

When I pull back the tarp, I realize that everyone must have heard about our…guests and their request. All eyes turn in my direction. I catch Jane's eye the moment I enter, she smiles slightly as if she can already predict my answer. I avert my gaze and ignore everyone's stares as I grab a seat and sit down next to Sokka.

I can already tell he's heard, as he watches me.

"You're not going," He says suddenly.

I feel my stomach drop and I feel a lump forming in my throat. _I don't want to go_. A voice constantly screams in my mind, I don't look up from the table as I speak, "I don't have a choice."

He watches me for a moment, "Bullshit," He finally says.

I swallow hard and look away from him. This is not the time for me to fall apart. I've been strong my entire life. Dinner is eaten in silence, the tension of my answer lingering over my entire tribe. There's silence as everyone watches Jane walk to the front of the tent, so everyone can see her. Her lackey's follow her.

She holds up her hand, as if for silence, there's plenty of it to go around anyways. When she has everyone's attention, which doesn't take long, she starts speaking, "As you may have all heard by now, we have made a certain request to your tribe. To help us and the rest of this world in the time of need."

I try to tune her out, but her words fill my head, giving me a piercing headache. Sokka touches my shoulder, "Katara, _please. _We can arrange something else."

I shake my head slowly, looking directly at him, "There's nothing left we can do, Sokka." There's pain in his face like I've never seen before, "Katara-"

"I give my sincere condolences for all your tribe has lost in this war, Katara," Jane speaks directly to me and all eyes shift in my direction in unease, "You know the only way to end this war is for you to come with us. That is why I request you to make your decision now."

I've never held so much responsibility before. It feels like a weight I'm left to carry for the rest of my life. Without father and the other soldiers, our nation won't last much longer against the fire nation's attacks. Either way, the only way to end this is to kill the fire lord.

Despite how deep my hatred for this woman runs, I know there is only one possible decision I can make. Sokka is speaking to me in a low voice. I can't hear him. I don't want to hear him.

"Katara?" Jane calls my name out in a soft tone that doesn't belong to her.

I grit my teeth, "You know my decision," I reply softly.

She watches me, waiting for me to speak louder.

I grip the edge of the table, "I _said_, you know what my decision is. I'll come with you tomorrow and I'll help take the fire lord down."

She smiles.

Panic erupts.

There is yelling and shouting and everyone is trying to get their way to Jane. I ignore everyone talking to me, everyone offering to go instead of me, everyone shouting at me to listen. I get up from the chair. Silence falls in the entire tent. I keep my eyes lowered, "When do I leave?" I ask Jane.

She glances at me, "We will provide you with everything. All we need is you to come along with us." She looks around the room, taking in everyone's expressions, "You all must be surprised, angry, confused, but I can assure you, no harm will befall Katara or any of the captives. I give my sincere apologies to anything I've done to harm this nation."

Everyone is listening to her now, "You must understand though, that this is the only time we have to attack. This is a crucial time frame to take down the fire lord, when he's still young and vulnerable. The fire nation believes there are no more water benders. By bringing one to become a part of their army, we will be attacking them when they least accept this."

"If not now, if not today, one day you all will see the importance of bringing Katara to bring down the Fire Lord. We can assure you her utmost safety while she is in the fire nation, we will make sure no harm befalls her. From here onwards, she is our first priority."

I have to admit, Jane does have a way with words. She has my tribe captivated.

"Rising from the ashes of the fire nations downfall we will bring a new world, with now war and violence. No conflict. A world we can all only hope for. This can only be achieved with the help and support of you all. So I ask you to join me in supporting Katara in her decision. We will form a new world, a world that will be our future. A world of peace."

She nods her head and steps away from the front of the tent. I can see the awe in many of my nation's eyes. I push my chair back and leave the tent without another word.

"Katara!"

I don't turn around as I hear Sokka's voice.

"Katara, damnit, listen to me!"

I'm afraid if I listen to him, all these years of holding in my emotions will result in nothing. I sigh and stop walking, but don't turn around. He catches up to me.

"Katara, look at me."

I slowly turn around. I wait for him to yell at me, say something- anything. He just watches me. I wish he said something. He slowly wraps his arms around me. I shut my eyes as tight as I can as he hugs me. There's complete silence. He finally speaks after an eternity, "I can't believe you're doing this."

I breathe, "So can't I."

He pulls away, "Please don't do this." He says in a low voice.

I open my eyes, and shake my head, "I don't have a choice."

"You do, there's always another choice Katara-"

"Sokka, stop." I shake my head, "I said I have no choice. I have to go with them."

When I look into his eyes that resemble father's so well, it seals my decision further. His eyes fill with tears I've never seen before, "Sokka-"

"I promise dad I'd keep you safe." His voice is hoarse.

I look at him, "You have Sokka, you've always kept me safe."

He shakes his head ad looks up at the stars.

"I love you Sokka."

I glance at him one last time before turning to depart into my tent. I sit down on the edge of my cot trying to compose myself. I'm really going to do this. I stare up at the roof of my tent. I'll murder the fire lord, I'll get father back. I can do this.

* * *

**Kind of a short chapter, but please leave a review! I promise the story will really pick up soon!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hope you Enjoy! Please Review, it really keeps me going.**

* * *

I wake up feeling disoriented. I rub my eyes and pull back the tarp of my tent to peek outside. The freezing wind rushes into my tent causing me to fall back onto my cot, shivering. It's still dark outside, but the sun will rise in an hour or so. I pull on a fresh parka, buttoning it up to my chin.

I step out of the tent and around it to get a better view of the ship I'll be leaving in. It's larger than the ships I've seen that belong to the fire nation which fills me with unease. How has this nation I've never heard of modernized faster than the fire nation? It doesn't make sense.

I narrow my eyes at the tents our "guests" musts till be asleep in. It would be so much easier to just murder them off, but whoever they are, I know killing them won't help. I still won't have dad back. The thought of dad brings a heavy heartache that I would like to avoid at all costs.

Showing emotion isn't something I'm embarrassed of; it's just something that I'm not prone to showing. I also find it a waste of time. Crying over something isn't going to help anyone's case. Still, as I think about dad, I have to squeeze my eyes shut hard to prevent the nonexistent tears from falling.

"Up so early?" The voice would have startled me if I wasn't already expecting it.

I don't turn around as I speak to Chan, "I could ask the same question."

He walks up so he's standing beside me; his hands are stuffed deep into the pockets of his parka, "When are you leaving?"

I just shrug, "In an hour or so."

"And you're ready for all of this?"

I turn to face him, his blue eyes peering into mine, "What do you mean?"

He shifts his weight and then crosses his arms over his chest, "You're going to _murder _the fire lord?"

I watch him for a moment, "Do you think I can't do it, because I can assure you-"

"That's not what I mean, murder is murder."

I feel nauseous, "He's the fire lord."

He shuts his eyes for a moment, "He's a human. Like me. Like you."

"He's the fire lord," I repeat myself.

Chan opens his mouth to say something when he's interrupted by the distant footsteps behind us. We both turn around to see Jane walking towards her, her three bodyguards following her. Her hair is pulled back into a tight bun under her parka hood. Her lips are painted bright red and her grey eyes meet mine.

"Katara," She nods at Chan, "glad to see you're a morning person. Keep your goodbye's short, we're waiting for you in the ship. Don't pack anything."

She turns and begins walking towards her ship without another word. Her posture not at all seeming to be uncomfortable with the new terrain beneath her feet. Her strides are long and confident while behind her, her bodyguards lag as they try to catch up to her. Even the way she walks is a way that is trained to make people cower near her.

"Sometimes I wonder if we'll ever be forgiven for all the people we've killed," Chan's voice is strangely quiet, his face paler than usual.

I turn to face him once again, for the last time, "No, no I don't think we will." I begin walking away but he grabs my arm.

I don't look at him as I speak, "Let me go."

"Katar-"

"What do you want from me? There's nothing I can do, okay?" I pull my arm away from him and leave him behind as I run towards my tent. I pull back the tent opening and sit down on my cot. We've all killed before. I've killed before a multiple number of times.

It's the consequence of war. The victims can sometimes become the attackers.

I look around my tent wondering if I even have anything to pack. I briefly touch the choker on my neck and then drop my hand. I don't really believe objects from my mother can really make me feel any better. But I can't leave it behind. It's sort of pathetic.

I leave my tent and already find gran gran waiting for me near the ship. Many of the other members of our tribe are there as well. I walk up to gran gran quickly because the ramp is already down and waiting for me to climb up it.

Gran gran looks at me and her eyes are wide with emotion, but they are yet to fill with tears. I look around at the other members of our tribe, huddled together in the cold, watching me, waiting for me to leave so they can go on with their regular days.

So I wrap my arms around gran gran and I shut my eyes as she squeezes me. I pull away from her.

"I'm so proud of you. I love you Katara."

I nod, "I love you too."

I look around for a moment when Sokka runs up to me, he yanks me towards him and hugs me. I pull away from him, "I'll miss you." I say to him quietly. The ramp is already waiting for me to climb on. I stand on the tips of my toes to see past Sokka's head.

I walk towards the ramp and look back again and absently wave at everyone. This entire moment feels surreal. I'm being honored for going to kill the Fire Lord. But then again, with him dead, it can only bring us peace, right?

The large door opens and I stand, high above the ground on the ramp, looking to see if Chan's there. He's not. I don't look back again as I turn and leave. There's a rush of cold air as the door slams shut behind me, leaving behind the cold weather of the southern water tribe.

I must have been delusional if I thought Jane would be standing at the entrance of her ship. The ship is not at all like the ships we have, they're not even like the ships the Fire Nation has. This ship is all in itself. Newly built, the smell of paint still fresh in the air. Everything about this ship mocked the ship my tribe made. I hated this place already.

I hear someone clearing their throat behind me. I turn around slowly. A guy about my age stands in front of me, wearing some type of newly designed armor that I've never seen before. It's fitted to hid body to make his movements easy and quick. Nationless armor.

"My name is Aang, you must be Katara?" His voice is soft, kind.

I nod.

He smiles a bit, "I'm supposed to take you to your room, so you can follow me."

I follow him as he speaks to me all about the ship and the history of the nationless. I listen in only because it might be helpful to me in the near future. I'm glad he doesn't stay silent though, it makes the walk to my 'room' more comfortable.

He stops in front of a sturdy wooden door and pulls something out of a pocket in his armor. It's a card thing of some sort. He presses it to a scanner at the front of the door and the door slides open. I'm surprised to say the least. Not because of how fancy the room is- but because it's mines for these few days.

I walk in, completely forgetting the presence of Aang and look around the room. Large, spacious, fancy. Everything I couldn't even have dreamed about in the water tribe. Without thinking about what I'm doing, I open the enormous dresser. Dresses, armor, shoes, jewellery; it's all there. And for the time being, it's all mine.

I was never the one to be greedy for stuff like this, but contrary to popular belief, I'm still a girl.

I jump onto the bed, the fabrics radiating its expense. I kick my boots off and look up at ceiling. It's high and a large chandelier hangs from it. This room is like the stories mother used to tell me about wealthy landlords.

I turn my head and I realize Aang is still there. Smiling a bit dumbly as he watches me. I sit up instantly, "I'm sorry, you could probably guess this isn't something I'm used to."

He just shakes his head, "It's completely fine. This_ is_ your room." He rubs the back of his head, "Commander Jane has told me to tell you to be dressed and ready by six. She wants you to meet someone for dinner-"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, the journey to the fire nation would normally take a week or so, but with this ship, it will take only a few days."

I shake my head, that was already expected. Ships from the water tribe sometimes took weeks to get to the fire nation, but that wasn't what I was talking about, "No, I mean, who am I meeting at dinner?"

He shrugs, "I'm not sure."

I get up off the bed. It's not like I was expecting him to be on my side or anything.

He crosses his arms over his chest, as if reading my mind, "I know what you're thinking, but I actually don't know." I just nod. He motions towards the dresser, "But I would suggest you to wear a dress."

I whip around to face him. I'm not against dresses. But I barely know this guy. I cross my arms, "I'm capable of dressing myself."

He looks a bit uncomfortable as he shifts his weight. As if he doesn't know what to say.

"Who are you anyways? Another one of Jane's lackeys?"

His face grows pink around his cheeks, "Commander." He says quietly. I look up at him. "_Commander _Jane." He repeats himself.

I don't laugh, because I'm not that rude. Instead I just roll my eyes, "Well send _Commander _Jane my apologies."

"I used to be a soldier, but now, you are my duty."

I give him a look, "And here I thought we could actually get along well. Pity."

His face grows pink again, "I guess...I should go."

I nod, "Good idea." I don't watch him as he leaves. I listen to his footsteps until they fade down the hallway. I walk over to the door and shut it closed. I look around the room again. I know Jane's bribing my affection, but I'm not nearly ready to trust her yet.

* * *

**Leave your thoughts! Who do you think she's going to meet? What do you think of Aang's character? Can Katara trust Jane? Please Review and leave some criticism, comments of questions. It means so much to me! Thanks for reading & reviewing! **


	4. Chapter 4

**Long Chapter for you guys I hope you enjoy this chapter. Thanks to the people who left reviews, it actually really keeps me going and its so great to hear your guys' opinions on what's happening. I know the story isn't really Zutara yet, but I can assure you, it's coming. Keep reading!**

* * *

I open a door beside the large bed. It's a washroom. As large as my entire room in the water tribe. There's a large tub for taking a bath. I walk out of the washroom and grab a soldier uniform from the dresser. It doesn't please me to be wearing stuff Jane has offered me, but I didn't pack anything.

I walk back into the washroom, wondering where I'm going to get the water from. In the water tribe, we had to fetch water in a large bucket and then heat it up on a fire. There's a large faucet next to the tub. I push it down, nothing happens. I turn it and water streams out. I'm shocked to say the least.

I put my hand under the water, it's not cold, not hot either. It's warm. Perfect for taking a bath. As I pull off my garments, I can't help being envious of the nationless. How long have they worked to be so much more advanced than any of the factions?

When I'm done taking a bath, I step out of the tub and change into the uniform. It's new, I can tell. It seems to fit me almost perfectly which makes me a little uncomfortable. My eyes begin to feel heavy as I walk out. I look over at the grandfather clock. I have about an hour until I have to meet someone.

I lie down on the bed and pull the covers up. Just a short nap.

I wake up to the pounding on my door. First soft and then gradually louder and louder. I groan and ignore it for a few more minutes. It doesn't stop.

"Will you just come in already!" I yell at the door.

The knocking stops for a moment and the door slowly opens. I open one eye to see Aang standing looking bewildered. He glances at the clock and then back at me, "It's quarter to six and you're not even dressed yet!"

I look over at the clock. I have fifteen more minutes. I roll over and curl up in the bed again. Aang seems confused at my logic, "Katara, when I said dinner starts at six, I meant it. Commander Jane does not like to be kept waiting."

I roll my eyes.

"You- you're not even dressed."

I look at him, "I'm not naked."

If he's uneasy with my comment, he doesn't show it. He crosses his arms, "I said a dress."

I want to laugh at how flustered he is, but instead I get up and try to smooth my hair down. It's still damp, "I can wear whatever I want to wear."

He's already pulled out a dress. It's purple. It's long and slim. Plain near the top and shimmery at the bottom. It has barely visible thin straps.

"Listen, I'm not trying to be difficult, but who am I meeting anyways?"

He shrugs and looks away, "Hurry up. _Please_. I'll wait outside." He shuts the door behind him. I look at the clock, sigh and pull of the soldier suit. I pull off my bindings and drop them onto the bed. I step into the dress foot first because I'm not sure how you're even supposed to get into a dress.

I tug it up rather aggressively. One side of one of the straps comes right off. I stare at it in disbelief. Aang knocks at the door. I pull the rest of the dress up, and pull on one strap. I walk over to the mirror. It fits me well enough. I've never bared this much skin before, although it's just my shoulders, I still feel uncomfortable.

I turn around once, don't bother with my hair and grab a coat from the closet. It looks ridiculous, but at least it doesn't make me feel naked.

"Katara?" Aang's voice floats in through the door. I groan a bit ungracefully and open the door. His eyes widen slightly once he sees me.

"Why are- Why a coat?"

I shrug, "Let's go."

He opens his mouth and then shuts it again. He looks around nervously before motioning for me to follow him. We walk down the hall for what seems like an eternity. I take note of all the different doors that lead to different rooms. What could they all be used for?

I count the minutes it takes us to get from my room to the dining hall. I know I'm not a hostage, but I can't help feeling like one and having some information on my surroundings can't hurt considering the situation I'm in.

I hug the coat close to my body, feeling cold.

Aang stops in front of a wooden double door. The dining hall. The doors are decorated intricately and precisely making them appear regal and awfully expensive. Making it look like something people from my tribe would never waste time on. We're efficient and get things done.

Aang knocks twice softly. Both doors open almost instantly, guards hold the doors for us as we walk in. I sneak a peek at one of the guards who's staring directly at me, his face blank of any emotion. A shiver runs down my spine and I look away towards the grandness of the dining hall.

I don't know why I'm surprised. I really shouldn't be. I should know that the nationless are loaded by now. The dining hall is huge, with a long table running the entire length of the room. Small unnecessary decorations and pieces are placed all around the room, on the walls, on the floors, on the table. Strangely, it doesn't make the room look cluttered. Just majestic.

I scan the entire table, it's empty. Jane's not here yet which means her guest isn't either. Aang pulls out a chair for me. I give him a look before sitting down. He turns to leave.

"Where are you going?" I blurt out.

He stops walking and turns to face me, "I'll be right outside if you need me."

"What about dinner?"

A horrified look crosses the features of his face, "Oh-no. We- The soldiers, eat separately."

I cock an eyebrow at him as I watch him leave. He walks stiffly and says a few words in a low voice to one of the soldiers. The soldier's face stay emotionless but he nods briskly. Aang leaves and the doors gently fall closed behind him.

I turn back to the table. The food hasn't arrived yet. I wonder how long it'll take for Jane to arrive. I glance at the grandfather clock. It's five fifty eight. I lean back in my seat. I've already begun to feel hot, despite the fact that it's freezing in the hallways. I contemplate taking off the coat, but I don't take it off.

Would Jane be late to her own dinner?

At that very moment, another pair of doors open and in walks Jane in all her confidence. I slump in my seat slightly. She's not wearing a dress. Standing beside her is a young man. He walks in a dreadfully similar way to Jane. His steps matching her long arrogant strides. I watch him closely as he walks over to the table. For once Jane isn't being trailed by her bodyguards.

His hair is neat, perfect. His clothes primly pressed and fitted in a way you may think every stitch was meant specifically to be worn by his body. He's strong, fit, I can tell even through his suit. My eyes sweep up to his face. He has grey eyes, an angular face and dark blonde hair. He's handsome.

Jane's lips curl into a smile as she takes in my appearance. I suddenly regret bringing a coat. Her voice is clipped as she speaks, "Pleasure you made it."

I glance at the clock. Exactly six o clock.

I nod in her direction. A guard comes and pulls a chair out for her and her guest. I look over at him again, he's just getting into his chair. I try to determine an age for him. He doesn't seem old, he's not. He's young, I can see the youth in his appearance. His eyes on the other hand look tired, burdened.

I look away when he finally glances up at me.

"You must be wondering who my guest is, am I correct?" She waits for my answer.

I keep my mouth shut.

She looks over at her guest, unfazed by my lack of participation, "This is Jet. Captain of the soldiers of the nationless. A Significant citizen of the nationless."

I dare to look at him once again; his eyes are fixed on me. I regret ever wearing a dress. His eyes are scanning me, analyzing me. I feel bare to him even with my coat on. The waiters are here so suddenly, placing plates out in front of us. I pick up my fork to distract myself.

"And above all," Jane continues, "He is my son."

I'm not the dramatic type but my fork clatters as it falls onto the table. The waiter's stop to look at me. Jane looks down at the fork and then back up at me. I look from Jet to Jane. The relationship is uncanny but undoubtable.

The waiter's proceed with their serving and Jane takes a sip of her water. I look up at Jet. He smiles slightly, he nods his head at me, "Nice to meet you Katara." His voice is deep, strong, full of authority.

A waiter opens the dish in front of me and I glance down at the food. Roasted chicken, mashed potatoes and other wealthy foods. I look back up at Jet to see the amused look on his face.

Jane takes a sip of water and then folds her hands together, "Now we have a lot to discuss. As you must have figured out by now. We will arrive in the fire nation in exactly three days time. We will dock in their Eastern Port, where there is the least amount of security. It is near the fire nation colonies."

She motions for me to eat. I pick up my fork again, "You are going to be sent alone out into the Fire Nation. It won't be difficult to disguise you as a member of the fire nation colonies. You must travel to the center of the Fire Nation where the capitol is located. Where the Fire Lord lives."

Jet is listening, hanging on to every word, "You will enlist in their army, try and get into their elite group of soldiers. The elite soldiers follow the Fire Lord wherever he goes on all of his journeys and trips. At this moment, as you know, the Fire Lord's position is vulnerable. He's at his weakest point, so we have to strike _now_."

So many times I've imagined myself killing the Fire Lord for everything he's done. Murdering him to punish him. But now since I'm so close to finally having him killed, I'm not prepared, "How do you expect me to murder him?" I ask without thinking it through.

Jane glances up at me, her grey eyes shining with the type of ferocity you see in an animal, "What do you mean?" Her voice is challenging me to question her.

I sit up straighter in my seat, "You expect me to just walk up to him one day, after working as his elite shoulder and stick a sword through his chest?"

Jane leans forward in her seat, she smiles and it's the exact opposite of friendly, "That," She says, "Is all up to you."

I look away from her, suddenly feeling way too young to be sitting in a conversation fit for adults. I lean back in my seat and glance at her, skillfully cutting a piece of chicken and taking a small bite of it.

"When you told my nation," I start and she looks up, Jet focuses his attention on me, "that you would make sure I'm safe at all times," I look her directly in the eye, "That my safety was your priority. I'm guessing that was all a lie."

Jane wipes her mouth with a napkin, removing some of her lipstick; it looks like a bloodstain on the white napkin. She looks up at me and then shakes her head, "No harm will befall you." She says calmly, "I can assure-"

I cut her off, something I assume no one has ever done before, "How can you assure my safety when you're sending me out on my own? How can you assure no one will find out I'm a traitor? What if I'm caught before I get the job done? Will you just leave me to die as a prisoner here?" My voice is getting louder with each word that leaves my mouth.

And I realize; I need to learn to keep my mouth shut sometimes.

Jane gently puts her fork down; she shows no amount of anger as she speaks. She's as calm as ever, "We trust you to get this job done and you trust us to keep our promise."

The words of her so called promise fill my head with a flame of anger. She has my father. Held captive. Bile rises in my throat. I'm working for the woman that has my father held captive.

"We _will _keep you safe and if you do your job correctly, you will not be discovered."

"How can you be so sure of that? What will you do if after I kill the Fire Lord, I get caught? I get taken as a prisoner. I get murdered. How are going to keep me safe? How will you even _know_ I'm in danger? How can you-"

"Katara," Her voice is ice cold. So sickeningly calm and cold. Her eyes narrow ever so slightly, "I am trusting you to be an ally and I suggest you do the same," She leans closer ever so slightly, "You do not want to make the mistake of making me your enemy."

"Commander Jane," Jet's voice. We both glance at him. He calls his own mother c_ommander? _"If I may?"

She nods for him to speak. He looks directly at me, his emerald eyes focusing on me, "The reason we are not able to send any soldiers with you is because of the fact that we are trying to protect you. If we send you alone, you are just like all the other soldiers out there, but if we send you with someone- a soldier, they _will _find out your connection and they _will _become suspicious."

"It is in your best interest to trust us. We will fulfill our part of the deal as long as you can carry out your part. It's a situation where we all have to trust each other to help bring this world out of its hellhole, you must want that?"

"It's something we all want and it's not going to happen until we work together. In matters of actually getting the job done, we will be right beside you. I have thought of a plan to bring in my soldiers for an invasion. But right now, our main goal is to get you into the elite soldier group for the fire lord."

He smiles faintly, "I've heard of how impressive of a soldier you are, so I'm sure that will be no problem. I can assure you we will always be with you and you will not be caught. You will not be discovered and you will not be taken as a prisoner."

His eyes soften for a brief, brief moment, "We can assure your protection. Can I ask you a question?"

I nod, not daring to look at Jane.

"Can you trust us?"

I don't want to nod. I look away from him and slowly get up from the table, "My job isn't to trust you. My job is to murder the fire lord. You're right. You do your part, and I'll do mine." I get up from the chair and push it back in its place, "Excuse me."

I can feel both pairs of eyes watching me as I leave.

* * *

**What did you think? Jane has a son? What? What do you all think about Jet? He's seems kind of out of character at the moment because I'm not exactly following how he was exactly in the show. Do you think Katara can trust Jet, if not Jane? What do you think of the relationship between Jet and his mother? **

**Please, please leave a review, criticism or any comments or opinions on this chapter or the story in general. If you have any questions, feel free to leave them in a review. I'll answer them all Thanks so much!**


	5. Chapter 5

**I feel like Katara's character is getting a bit repetitive, so I'm sorry! But I'll try and fix that! Please review & Enjoy!**

* * *

I wake up the next morning. For once there's no chill of the cold air. I try to open my eyes, but they stay shut. I aimlessly bat my hand around feeling for the edge of my cot. But I don't feel it. I feel something soft, warm. A mattress?

I force my eyes open, blinking around. I'm not in my tent. I get up abruptly. Where am I-

Memories of last night flood through my mind. I touch my forehead and take a deep breath. I get up from the bed to see I'm still wearing the dress from last night. I go to the washroom and change into my clothes from the water tribe. They've been washed, folded and hung neatly on the hook on the other side of the washroom door.

I wonder what the people from my tribe are doing now, at this moment. Panic fills me slowly as I imagine a fire nation ship landing for a fight once more. Will they be able to handle it without me? How about all the injuries?

I walk out of the washroom to find breakfast already delivered to my bedside. I wonder if this is some sort of a mistake. Am I allowed to eat in my own room? In the water tribe we would meet every morning in the dining hall and have every meal together.

I don't question it. I'd rather eat on my own anyways. I finish my meal, relishing the taste that I've never had the privilege of tasting before. It doesn't seem fair that I'm eating all this while the people from my tribe are forced to hunt and eat the same thing for every meal. I try not to think about it as I finish.

When I'm done, I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do. In the water tribe I would wake up to a list of duties, but here, I realize, I have nothing to do. If Jane wanted to speak to me, surely Aang would have told me. But no one has spoken to me.

The fact that I have nothing I _have _to do makes me sort of…glad. I know I shouldn't be, but I try not to think about it as I open the door to my room and peek down the hall as if I'm doing something wrong, even though I'm not.

I walk down the long hallway, passing by the numerous doors that I guess, contain nothing. But I must be wrong, because they're locked. I try to find some indication that what I'm on is a ship in fact. It doesn't seem like a ship. It looks like a palace.

I pass a large door, even larger than the dining hall doors. I try to walk in front of it, but my curiosity takes over. There's a small window on the door. I stand on the tips of my feet to peek through it. The window is glazed, I can barely see through it. I squint and stand a bit higher-

"Looking for something?" A low voice interrupts me. The hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I whip around. Jet stands in front of me, in a close proximity to me. His arms are crossed over his chest.

I feel my breath catch in my throat, "I-I was just looking-"

His eyes narrow ever so slightly, the way Jane's eyes do and I feel the sickening similarity between them again. I turn away from him, "I was wondering what this door leads to."

I begin to walk away.

"I can show you if you want?"

I stop for a moment and turn around to face him. He's already typing a code into the keypad. I try not to look excited. After all, there's probably nothing important in there anyways. The door slides open with a slight hissing noise. There's a warm breeze as the door opens.

Jet walks in first and motions for me to follow. I follow him hesitantly. There's some type of machine placed in rows and rows. There's about fifty of them. I don't dare to touch them.

Jet points to the machines, "These are computers. At this moment, they're capable of giving us live streaming of every nation, in any place we want. They can pinpoint locations and give us any information we need about that specific area."

I look up at him, my brain processing the information, "You…you can just watch what's happening in any nation, at any time, at any place?"

He smiles a bit, as if it's something to be proud of, "Would you like to see?"

I blink hard. Any nation… "You mean you can watch the water tribe?"

He nods.

My mind clings onto the word 'privacy'. How is it even possible for the nationless to be able to do something like this? How can they just…watch us? I'm disgusted with the information I've received. I look away from Jet and look at the computers.

"Can I ask you a question?" I ask Jet in a calm voice.

He takes a step closer to me, "Of course."

"Does the nationless not believe in the idea of privacy?" I look him directly in his emerald eyes. He looks at me for a moment before tilting his head slightly.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, you're invading the privacy of every nation. Without them knowing, without their permission. Is this something you're taught as part of the nationless?"

He's taken aback by my questions. No one has ever questioned him like this before. He seems flustered.

"It's for emergency purposes."

"Like?"

He crosses his arms over his chest, "Like now. When we need to make sure you're safe in the fire nation."

Of course he'd play that card. I roll my eyes, "I can't believe this." I know I shouldn't be speaking to Jane's son like this, but I can't help it.

"Katara, you have to understand where we're coming from."

"Yeah? Where are you coming from?"

"We only use these computers when its absolutely necessary and needed," He watches me for a moment, "Why is it such a big deal anyways?"

I laugh, "I wonder why." I feel like I am, in fact, over exaggerating, but I can't help it. I feel bare to the nationless. How could they just do that? Who gave them the right to just be able to invade the privacy of other nations? It's a power they don't deserve, and definitely don't need.

I begin walking away, he's following me. He's actually following me, "Why is it such a big deal?"

I whirl around to face him, "There's something called privacy, okay?"

"There's something called emergency's."

I fall silent. I don't even know this guy and I'm arguing with him. But it hurts. It hurts knowing that the nationless is just like the Fire Nation. They take advantage of what they have. What they have and what other nations don't have. The water tribe is so far behind the nationless, it's unbelievable. It's unbelievable how some people can work so hard and get nothing and others are born with power.

I turn away from him wanting to tell him it's just not fair, but I don't dare say anything, considering how childish I know it's going to sound.

"Are you okay?" He asks me.

It feels strange, so strange hearing Jane's son asking me if I'm okay. I just shake my head, "I should go back to my room."

"Actually," He seems hesitant about his words, "I had to talk to you about something."

I turn to face him and he has a sincere look on his face, "What?"

He motions for me to walk with him, I follow him reluctantly. He walks with the same sort of posture that Jane walks with, which makes me keep a safe distance away from him, "I know you're probably getting tired of talking about this, but making sure the plan is carried out accurately is very important."

I nod, "I understand."

"Can you fight?"

I blink at his blunt question, "Yes, of course." I reply slowly.

He glances at me and then looks away quickly, "You can't become an elite soldier if you can't fight."

"I assure you I can."

He smiles as he looks down at the ground, "That's good to hear. Now," He adjusts the cuffs of his suit, "we'll be arriving tomorrow evening if everything goes as planned and we're sending you out right as we land. We can't keep the ship docked for your entire stay there, so we'll stay on the ship."

I stop walking, "What? You're going to just live on a ship?"

"It's not something that's risky, we're far away that the Fire Nation can't catch us and we're close enough to help you if you need it," He glances at me again, "We're expecting it to take a month, two at most."

They've already set a time. It makes me feel nauseous. He notices the look on my face, "Or however long it takes you, we're not trying to put any pressure on you. It's a brief estimate."

"Now onto other things, you need a cover story, as peculiar as it may sound. You need to have something to be able to tell the ambassadors or just all the other soldiers. In the end it's up to you what you want to say, but you do need a story."

I nod, telling him I'm following him.

"We already have enough clothes for you to bring along, all fire nation clothes."

I haven't even realized it, but we're stepping into an all metal room. The doors shut behind us. There's a beat of panic inside me as they slide shut. There's no handle or knob. Jet notices the panic on my face and he smiles, his lips turning upwards.

He presses a couple of buttons that are located next to the shut doors. He watches me. Suddenly I feel my stomach dropping, literally dropping. I feel light, really light suddenly. I take a hesitant step. Suddenly I feel heavy, as if someone's placed weights on my back. Then I feel normal, as if nothing just happened.

The doors slide open, Jet lets me walk out first. He looks at me, "It's called a lift. Like stairs but much easier."

I act pretentious as if I'm not at all affected by the fact that we just stepped into a room and stepped back out on a whole different floor. I take in my surroundings. We must be on the top of the ship. The very top. I can finally see sunlight after what seems like forever. I'm walking without even thinking onto the deck of the ship.

Jet follows behind me in a similar way but lacking the excitement.

I walk out on to the edge of the ship, holding on to the railing. It's extremely windy and my hair is all over the place, but I don't bother trying to fix it. I relish in the warmth of the sun and the coldness of the air. I look down at the ocean. An endless sight of deep blue and slow lapping waves.

I feel him walk up behind me. I ignore his presence as I lean over the rail further. The ocean is beautiful, so very beautiful.

"You like it?" He asks as if I've never seen the ocean before.

I don't look at him, "I've been on a ship before."

He stops talking for a moment, "Sorry," he says after a moment.

"I was wondering if you have any other questions?"

Whatever joy I felt in this one small moment disappears. I have so many, an endless amount of questions. What if I can't become a part of the elite soldiers? What if I get caught? What if I can't even kill the fire lord? I turn to face him.

"I have a hundred questions, but none that you can answer."

A look crosses his face and his eyebrows draw in, "What do you mean?"

"You heard me."

I begin walking away realizing fully well how irritating I'm being, but I'm not here to make friends.

"Katara, I'm not done talking to you."

For some reason I snap. It's just the irony of what I'm doing. For them. These are the same people who have my father held captive. My stomach clenches and my insides writhe as I turn back around and face him.

"You know what? I do have a question for you," I walk over to him, anger rolling off of me, "Where's my father? Where are you keeping him? What did he even do to you?" My voice is growing louder and louder. Jet's face is a sheet of shock at my sudden anger.

"Did you have to bribe me to get this job done? You think kidnapping was the only way you guys could get this job done? The only way I would have cooperated? Did the idea even cross you that I might help you out without being bribed? Without something in return?"

He takes a step back.

"Can you answer any of those questions for me? I didn't this so." I storm off without another word, leaving Jet looking bewildered. I take the _stairs_ back down to the floor my room is located on. My room is exactly a three minute walk away from the stairs.

I sit down on the edge of my bed, trying to calm down. My anger always gets the better of me and it drives me crazy. I try not to think about my father. Where he is. What condition he's in. I try not to think about it. I try to clear my mind, but it refuses all my attempts.

I feel nauseous once more. I feel alone once more. I feel scared once more. I wrap my arms around my knees. I'll make them pay for this. I swear on my life I will.

* * *

**I know this story doesn't seem like zutara, but trust me, it will be! Zuko will be here soon enough! What are your thoughts on Jet? Please Review, leave criticism or comments! Thanks for reading! **


	6. Chapter 6

**Last Chapter while she's on the ship Enjoy!**

* * *

I'm sitting across from Jet in a large room with a shut window that I can see the ocean out of. He caught up with me after my 'tantrum' as he called it. He told me to follow me into this room and I did. Now we're both staring at each, waiting for one of us to speak first.

His hands are crossed on the table and he watches me intently, as if I still have some more yelling to do. Maybe I do, but I'm not in the mood right now. I sigh exasperated, "What do you want?"

He seems slightly concerned, his eyes are wide and sorry, as if he had no idea of what was going on at all and why I was even helping Jane to begin with. He massages his temples briefly before looking back up at me, "I didn't know." He finally says.

"You're going to have to be a little less vague," I reply, having no idea what he's talking about.

His voice is strained slightly as he speaks, "I didn't know that Commander-" he shakes his head, "I didn't know that your father was being held captive."

I wait as he looks up at me expectantly. I wonder if he's waiting for a response from me. I wait for him to laugh and say "Just kidding" and run along just like his mother would do. But his eyes are sincere.

He rakes his free hand through his hair, removing it of its perfection, "I had no idea. When mothe- Commander Jane told me about you, she failed to mention why you were even helping us. I didn't think about it much. Mostly everyone other than residents of the Fire Nation wants the Fire Lord dead. I didn't know there was another motive as to why you were helping us."

I look up into his eyes and notice how exhausted he looks. His eyes show no sign of youth, contradicting the rest of his body. I look away from his eyes when he glances at me. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to say or do. Is he expecting me to dislike him less now that I know he didn't know about my father?

"After you stormed off, I spoke to Commander Jane about it. She didn't seem at all bothered by the fact that I was asking her. But…I hope you realize, she's just really devoted. When she wants to get something done, she doesn't want anything standing in her way. That's the only reason she's holding your-"

I cut him off by laughing dryly, "I'm sorry, but is this why you brought me here?"

His entire body tenses up and for a moment, a brief second I can see all the differences between him and his mother. It flashes before my eyes, and then just like that, it's gone. I look away from him. I'm not used to not being able to understand people, but I can't seem to understand Jet.

"I-I'm sorry about your father," His voice sounds small, "I really am."

I cross my arms, "Sadly apologies don't really matter to me."

He inhales deeply and looks away from me, touching his forehead.

"Why do you call her Commander?" I ask suddenly.

He glimpses up quickly, "What?"

"If she's your mother, why do you call her commander?"

He's taken aback by my question, as he seems to be with all of my questions, "She's my commander first, and then my mother." He finally says, his voice suddenly drained of emotion. His entire body alert, as if he's said that line hundreds of times, convincing others and him at the same time with those words.

I open my mouth to ask him about his father but then think better of it. I close my mouth and look at him. He's staring directly at me. I feel a strange feeling of warmth around my body. I decide to change the topic.

"How old are you anyways?"

"Nineteen," he says without any hesitation. It's a believable age. It really is. If you subtract the weight he always seems to be carrying out of the equation. He shifts in his seat, "Do you have any questions about the plan, or the Fire Lord, or the fire nation?"

I think about it, "No," I reply without hesitation. He looks at me one last time, nods then looks away again as if he can't bear to look at me for extended periods of time. I feel my cheeks burns slightly. He gets up from his seat.

"Sleep in tomorrow, get some rest. A soldier will wake you up when we've arrived and have you prepared."

I nod and watch as he leaves the room without another word. I lean back in my chair for a moment, trying to compose myself. I then get up, after I'm sure he's too far down the hall to see me again, and walk back to my room to follow his instructions.

When I wake up the next morning, I'm strangely calm. As if my mind is not concerned at all about being sent out to murder the fire lord, the greatest and most powerful leader at this moment. Breakfast has already been served, which means I must have slept in, like Jet had told me to do. I look at the grandfather clock, we'll probably arrive in a couple of hours.

I eat my food in silence, trying to gather my thoughts about everything. Once I'm finished, as if it was planned, there's a knock on my door. Whoever it is doesn't wait for an answer and opens the door. Aang stands at the door, once he sees me, he smiles.

I know he's about to chide me on not being ready, so I begin to get up, "I'll be ready in a few minutes." I mumble.

He holds up his hand, "There's no need, since you woke up so late, you might as well change into fire nation clothes anyways."

I roll my eyes but a force a smile as he motions for me to follow him. He leads me down the hall for exactly thirty two seconds until he stops and opens a door. It's a large room, filled with racks and racks of different Fire Nation clothing. I can see all the different soldier outfits laid out in rows. Every different style is there, out of them, I've only seen them wear a few.

I'm shocked at what limits these people will go to to get their job done.

Aang rummages through a rack and pulls out an entire suitcase bag sort of thing, he places it beside me and then pulls out a hangar. A woman's robe hangs from it, for fire nation women. He makes me hold it as he hangs me a fire nation cloak, a pair of flat shoes, a traditional fire nation choker and a couple of stringed bracelets.

I eye them uncertainly. Aang ushers me into a room to change out of my clothes while he waits outside. There's a large mirror in the room, full enough so I can see my entire body head to toe. I carefully fold my water tribe clothes as I pull them off. I stack them up on a stool beside me in the room. I pull on the robe first, tying it at the back. I pull on the string bracelets then the shoes.

I don't put the choker on.

I walk outside and Aang smiles widely as if he's accomplished something. He looks me up and down from head to toe. His smile turns into a frown within a moment. He walks over to me and his face is apologetic, "Katara, your necklace…"

I touch my mother's choker still wrapped around my neck and feel a lump forming in my throat.

His eyes soften, "It's a clear giveaway."

I force a laugh, I'm being stupid. A necklace shouldn't mean anything to me. I pull it off of my neck, feeling the sudden cold of bareness. I clutch it in my hand as I wrap the other one around my neck. It has a fire nation emblem on it. It feels strange, too tight, too uncomfortable.

"Are you okay-"

"It's just a necklace," I try to act indifferent, but I still don't let the necklace out of my hand. Even as Aang walks me back to my room.

"You'll bring this along with you, it just has a few supplies and clothes you'll need while you're there. Someone will tell you when it's time to go."

Something seems strange, "Jane won't want to see my before I leave?"

Aang turns to look at me, "I'm not sure. She hasn't said anything about it yet."

I nod and he leaves without another word, leaving me alone in my room with only my thoughts. I sit down on the foot of my bed and hold my head in my hands. It seems strange that I haven't really thought about Sokka and Gran Gran and Chan. But now that I think about them, there's a deep ache in my chest as if prodding a wound.

I know I've only been away from them for only three days, but I know I have an eternity ahead of me. Who knows when and in what condition I'll return home? I sigh and press my hands to my forehead, smoothing back my hair. I wonder if there's been another attack on them from the fire nation. I wonder if there have been any injuries. I wonder if anyone's died.

I hate being left alone with my thoughts.

There's a knock on my door. Soft but authoritive. I pick my head up. My voice doesn't belong to me as I speak, "Come in."

The door opens, not hesitant in the least and I know its him before I see him. Everything about him is neat, tidy, ironed, pulled back. The complete opposite of how I feel.

He looks me up and down and his eyes hover near my hand for a moment. The same hand holding my mother's choker. I'm embarrassed. Not even because he saw me with it, but because I only realize I'm still holding it. I wrap my fingers around it and pull my hand back. He looks away from my hand and then looks up at me.

"How are you feeling?" It's not an unusual question, but I'm still not sure how to reply.

I shrug.

"Are you scared?"

I shrug.

"Are you nervous?"

I shrug.

He smiles a bit, "So I guess you really don't know how you feel."

I try to smile back, but my hand is starting to sweat and I want so desperately to rip the fire nation choker off and put my mother's back on before I suffocate. It's stupid. I'm stupid for feeling this way.

"Were you the person who's supposed to tell me we've landed?"

He crosses his arms, still refusing to step away from the door, "I'm afraid not. But we're almost there. Maybe about twenty minutes."

"Great," I say quietly.

"You know what to do right?"

"You've went over it with me about ten times, Jet."

He glances at me when I say his name, as if he's not used to people calling him by his name. I wonder if I've made another mistake, he looks away almost instantly. I can't help but wonder about him. This son of Jane's that never seemed to exist before I met him.

He clears his throat, "I would wish you good luck, but I'm hoping you won't need it."

I shake my head and laugh dryly, "I'll need it, trust me." I look up at him,  
"Won't they only allow elite soldiers in if they're fire benders?" I say, a random question popping into my mind.

He leans back against the door, "Not necessarily, I doubt they'd even ask if you can fire bend or not. It'd be too segregated."

I roll my eyes, "Nice to know the Fire lord is concerned about segregation."

He smiles, "You shouldn't worry though. I'm sure they'll let you in." I wonder if he means it. I hope he does. I watch as he presses two fingers to his ear, his face tenses slightly. He swallows hard. He stands still for a few moments before looking at me.

"I-I have to go."

I'm not sure why, but I get up. He glances at me, nods, and forces a smile, "Well then, best of luck to you. I'm sure we'll meet soon."

I'm not even sure what to say. He waits awkwardly, his weight resting on his left foot, ready to leave, but waiting for me to say something. I give an awkward wave. He turns and leaves without another word. I listen to every footstep he takes. I count them.

One, two, three. They grow fainter. Four, five, six. Fainter. I count on. Thirty six footsteps, until they became so very faint, I couldn't hear. I peek out my door and just catch the back of his head entering a door down the long hallway. It shuts behind him, and in the silence, I can hear the heavy lock as it slides across, locking the door.

There's a faint rumble on the floor of the ship, I've never felt it before. It must mean we're about to land. I notice I'm still holding the choker. I stuff the choker deep down in the bag that Aang gave to me, hoping no one will notice me bringing one small item of my own.

I wait; the handle of the bag in my sweating hand. I count the seconds, the minutes, until there's finally a knock on my door. I take a deep breath and stand up. I open the door to find another soldier, not Aang standing at my door. He's much, much older than Aang. He takes my bag without saying a word to me; he motions for me to follow him.

I follow him, for once, not paying attention to my surroundings. I feel numb the entire walk until we reach the enormous ramp that I entered this ship with only three days ago. It seems like an eternity back. There's only one person standing there. Jane. I'm disappointed Aang's not here.

Her lips are painted red, which I should be used to by then. I realize I haven't spoken to her since I stormed off from the dinner table. It makes me suddenly uneasy. She smiles at me as if I'm an invention she created with her own hands. In a way, I am.

Everything around me seems to pass in a blur, Jane's words telling me there's someone on the inside that will be there to help me, her faint words of farewell, watching the ramp slowly lower itself and open to the Fire Nation. I'm already walking down the ramp, not looking back. For once, I'm having trouble focusing.

I see the man waiting for me; he's dressed in traditional Fire Nation clothes. He's old but not too old. He sees me and his entire face smiles at me, the edges of his eyes wrinkling. When I walk up to him, he takes the bag from my hand and looks up at me as if I'm a new light, a new hope.

"We've been waiting for you," He says, "Welcome to the Fire Nation."

* * *

**What'd you guys think? Please Review! Tell me what you thought of the chapter. Every review helps me write the chapter quicker! So please review, comment or feel free to leave some criticism Thanks for reading !**


	7. Chapter 7

**So this is a really short chapter, I'm sorry! It's also kind of a filler chapter, but I hope you guys still enjoy. I'll have the new chapter posted asap! Thank you so much for the reviews you guys are leaving, it means SO much to me that even like one of you guys are enjoying my story. It's just the best feeling in the world knowing someone's enjoying your story. ENJOY!**

* * *

All I can think about is the fact that I wasn't supposed to be sent with someone. Who is this guy? I'm not even sure how I'm supposed to act around him, Jane never gave me instructions about this man, maybe it's her sick way of surprising me.

I glance at the man out of the corner of my eye, he's definitely fire nation. Which means I definitely can't trust him. He's still smiling. I wonder what he finds so amusing. He notices me watching him and his smile widens. I take a step away from him. There's a chance he could be a physcho. I wouldn't be surprised if Jane sent me with one anyways.

"It's an absolute honor to meet you Katara," He says with a thick accent. He says my name with a roll of his tongue. He holds out his hand. I hesitantly take it as he shakes every limb from my wrist to shoulder. I quickly pull my hand away.

"I know you must be wondering who I am, but we really can't stay here talking all day now, can we? We need to get moving. I'll answer all your questions along the way," He begins walking swiftly. I follow behind him, finally taking in my surroundings. We're in a stranded area, just like Jet had told me.

It's a completely barren land, with an old docking station where we must have docked our ship. I can see the large ship leaving us in the distance. It makes me feel abandoned and cold. The area around me shows evidence of once being lively, old broken down stalls are still residing near the shore. The life has been swept out of this part of the Fire Nation.

I didn't imagine the Fire Nation to look like this at all. But I guess this is just one of the parts the Fire Lord doesn't bother with. It doesn't surprise me though.

It must seem strange, now that I think about it. A strange girl with an old man walking in the middle of nowhere. We really should get out of here as fast as we can. I quicken my pace, just enough so I'm behind the man, not directly beside him.

"Where are my manners? I guess living here has rid me of any of those," He says as he laughs at his own joke which, frankly, I don't find funny at all. Isn't he from the Fire Nation? He glances at me, "My name is Chanzai."

His name is a traditional fire nation name, so he must be from here.

"We're going to be nearing the town of Alztec very soon; over there we'll look less palpable." He says to me, "Then I'll be able to talk more about everything."

So I follow him in complete silence, him carrying my bag and me following behind him. I feel sort of pathetic. I have no idea who this man is and I'm left all alone with him. A thought suddenly sweeps across my mind. The computers Jet showed me. Can he see me right now? I wonder if he knows this man I'm with.

I doubt it. Jane doesn't seem to share much information with Jet.

Chanzai wasn't lying. We soon begin nearing actual people, I can see a small rundown town in the distance. My thoughts circle around the word 'rundown'. This is supposed to be the Fire Nation. The most developed nation. I can see fire nation residents walking around, near the small stalls set up.

As we near the town, I feel unsafe. These are people from the fire nation, I know they're not all like the Fire Lord, but they must be influenced by him in one way or another. The faces of the nation lack what I thought they would look like.

There's a number of children, playing a game of their own imagination, running around in circles. Old women, many of them blind in sight, walk around aimlessly with flies in their eyes. Women and men, making a living off the handful of silver coins in their hands, holding them out to the shop owners, hoping someone will take pity on them.

Beggars line the sides of every building, leaning against the walls or sitting, but their hands held out in a feeble attempt at making a living. My hands clench into fists. This is supposed to be the Fire Nation.

But the insufficiency. The look on every single person's face. A wave of grief washes over me as a small child bumps into me, he looks up at me with eyes so wide, but so empty at the same time. Lacking the happiness that could fill them. I look away from him faster that I should have.

Chanzai speaks to me in a low voice, "Many of the villagers suffer from paranoia disorders and a spread of red fever. Only the upper class areas of the Fire Nation are provided with vaccines to prevent this disease."

My thoughts are frozen. This is supposed to be the Fire Nation. A man, so very elderly, speaks in a tongue I've never heard before, his lips barley moving as he holds out his empty palms to me. My entire body heats up. I have no money on me. I try to say something, he grabs ahold of the edge of my cloak and my heart leaps into my throat.

Chanzai says something loudly in the same tongue that I don't understand and the man whimpers and slowly releasing my cloak. I feel nauseous. I look away from him, trying to forget everything I just saw. I keep my head lowered as we slowly make our way through the town.

"I'm going to be taking you to the Fire Nation capital, where you will try and get in as one of the Fire Lord's elite soldiers. You will say you are from the colonies, the poorest parts of the fire nation, which will make your minor differences believable."

"I know you must be extremely shocked, I can tell by the look on your face. You must have heard all about the Fire Nation, the most established nation," His voice becomes bitter as he spits out his words, "It's all a lie." I can hear the sheer hatred in his words.

It confuses me. Who is this man?

"Only the upper class areas are established and sustained. The lower classes," He looks around, "There's no hope for them. No one will bother with these people. Nobody cares. They're blind, diseased, starving. They're all on the verge of death, barely living."

How words are cutting me deep with realization.

"But that's why you're here," He looks at me, really looks at me and his eyes fill with something that seems to be lacking in this town. Hope. It makes me feel too small to be carrying out this plan. "This entire nation has been waiting for you to arrive, Katara."

His words warm me from head to toe. It's a feeling I've never felt before. It fills me.

I shake my head, "I don't know what to say."

He shrugs, "Sometimes there just is nothing to say."

He's right. So very right.

"Who are you?" the words spill out of my mouth, "I mean, are you from the fire nation? How do you know Jane?"

He smiles and looks down, "I guess I can't expect you to know about the condition about the fire nation. You've been living under the delusion that it's the greatest nation," He shakes his head and sighs heavily, "Yes, I am from the fire nation. Or at least, I was once."

"There's something starting here Katara. You have no idea how long we've been waiting for you to come. Someone that will finally rid us of the person we call our leader. While we've been waiting, there's been something forming. Something Commander Jane has helped us with. She's helped us so very much."

I try to make sense of his words.

"There's people here that are tired of living in the conditions they live in. They're coming together, from all over the fire nation. You've brought this nation something they've never had or experienced before."

I can't take in the fact that he speaking so highly of me, "And that is?"

His eyes focus on me, "Hope."

His words make me feel so heavy. Heavy with the weight I have to carry now. The hope of all of these people, I don't know what to say so I shake my head.

"I know you must be taken back by all this information," He waits for my reply and when I don't give one, he continues, "We won't talk about it for a while." He drops a silver coin in one of the beggar's cup and he mumbles words of thank you, "We're not very far from the capital, it must seem surprising, but we'll be there by nightfall."

I find it shocking. We're this close to the capital and _these _are the conditions? I feel a strange ringing in my ears as I take everything in. All these years, every nation has, in a way, looked up to the accomplishments of the fire nation. Every nation, despite the war, speaks highly of the Fire Nation. How developed it is, how established it is. How perfect it is.

It was all a lie.

"Are you hungry?" He asks me.

I shake my head, no. The thought of eating makes me want to barf. And the thought of eating in front of all these people who are starving…it's unthinkable.

"I know you must be shocked from all of this, but this is all a side effect of war. A side effect of hatred and a side effect of the leader we have."

He doesn't say a word after that. Leaving me alone with my thoughts once again for the rest of the journey. We stop and eat in another town, one far away from the one we passed. It's slightly better in condition, but I guess my expectations are too high.

He keeps true to his word. As night falls, we continue our journey, but the environment around me begins changing, slowly then all at once. Fewer villagers on the road, fewer beggars. Suddenly the buildings are well maintained and constructed. The roads are neatly paved down to every last pebble. Signs and banners with the fire nation emblem lines numerous building. Even the vegetation is maintained, the grass trimmed neatly, the shrubs cut precisely.

And rows and rows of flowers that seem to glow in the dark, illuminated a small halo of light around them.

"Fire Lily's, the Fire Nations national flower," Chanzai says, as if reading my mind, he stops for a moment and draws his hand out, emphasizing the area around us, "Welcome," He says, his voice too loud to be a whisper, "To the Fire Nation Capital."

* * *

**What do you guys think of Chanzai? How about the fire nation? **

**And the most important question: Will Zuko ever be in this story?! I'm so sorry he's not in this story yet. I just don't want to ruin the flow of the story by changing the pace of it and making everything happen quicker than its supposed to! I hope you understand. He'll be in the next couple chapter, I promise! Please Review, because they really, truly keep me going. THANKS FOR READING. **

**Feel free to leave criticism, comments, predictions or a review of any sort. Thanks again! New chapter will be up very soon! **


	8. Chapter 8

**Enjoy!**

* * *

No, I'm really not shocked. It doesn't shock me that the fire lord wouldn't care about anyone other than him. Of course the capital had to be the best looking; the best maintained and managed area in the entire fire nation. It wouldn't be called the fire nation if it wasn't.

"This is where I must leave you."

His words are what shock me. I whirl around and face him, my eyes slowly widening, my brain is a mixture of thoughts and feelings.

He can read my expression so very clearly, he gives me an apologetic look, "It's not safe for me to come with you, Katara. I'm not exactly considered a resident of the fire nation any longer."

I watch him carefully, piecing his words together in my mind, "You were banished." I finally say.

He looks away from me for a moment, suddenly distant, cold, confused. I wait until he composes himself as he faces me again, "I can't come with you." He fidgets with the handle on the bag, and I realize he's been carrying it this entire time, "You must think the capital is huge, but it's just another fabrication of the truth about the fire nation. In all reality, it's not that large. I'm sure you'll be fine."

My mind is in a rush to try and say something. How could he leave me? How could he leave me in a strange place that I've never been to before?

"If you walk down Sparks path, it's the long lane you see across from where we're standing." He waits until my eyes focus on the spot he's talking about. It's a lengthy road, seeming to stretch endlessly into the darkness, "If you walk down the road, there's the largest house. It's one of the generals' homes. He can take you to become an elite soldier. Just explain your story to him."

I search my mind, what's my story?

"You are from the colonies," He says calmly, "You left your home to fight as a soldier after your father passed away in the war," He tells me, creating my life here in the fire nation. Creating my new identity, "You are the most skilled soldier in your colony, you hate how the fire nation has treated the colonies, but you fight for your father."

"You fight for your nation."

All I can think about is how I'm not ready. I'm just a child, still too young, too innocent to be thrown out into the world. I'm not ready. No amount of preparation could have prepared me for this moment. I'm scared, I'm alone.

"I have no doubt that you'll be fine on your own."

He looks at me, his eyes downcast, "Goodbye Katara."

My insides writhe. He's already turning away. My mind is full of questions yet to be answered. But I know I have no choice as he walks away from me, and I can't help but wondering if I'll ever see him again.

I wait a moment, listening to the silence of the darkness before I start walking on my own. It's not cold in the fire nation, but I shiver. I walk down the long road Chanzai told me about. Every house looks almost identical, the same size, the same design. That's when I see them. The soldiers.

They're standing in full armor, from head to toe. Fear runs up and down my spine. Chanzai told me something about curfews in other small towns, but surely that can't be the case here. Right? I try to tell myself to calm down, to look natural. There's a small group of them spread out just in this street, they're all watching me, their expressions void of any emotion.

When I see the house, it's obviously the house of the general. It's the largest house, flat topped and spread out for meters and meters. It's fancier than any of the other houses and a large flag of the fire nation emblem hangs from the roof.

I walk up the steps, my boots making heavy noises, attracting unwanted attention to me. I stand in front of the door, wondering how I'm supposed to knock. I raise my hand to the door and knock twice. As I pull back my hand to knock the third time, the door swings open. I gasp far too loudly.

A man stands with the door opened fully, his eyebrows drawn in, dressed in traditional fire nation robes. My breath hitches in my throat and I search my mind for something to say. He waits for a moment longer before cocking an eyebrow and leaning on the doorframe.

"Can I help you?" His voice is low, gruff.

I open my mouth to say something when the door begins shutting. I place my hand on the door, stopping it from shutting completely.

"I would like to speak with the general," My voice doesn't belong to me.

He stops trying to force the door shut long enough to give me a look of disbelief, "Come back tomorrow."

That's about when I start panicking, "No, I need to speak with him now. It's very important."

"So is my sleep," And the door's shutting in my face once again.

My anger gets the better of me; I wedge my foot between the door so he can't close it. He gives me a look of shock before I shove the door open, he steps back for just a moment, "I suggest you call him." My voice is deadly.

His eyes widen and I can see the anger growing in them. I have no choice. If he doesn't let me in, I honestly have no idea what to do with myself.

"Did you hear what I said girl?" He is yelling now. Just as he pulls his hands back to shove the door closed with all his power, I hear a voice. I can't make out what the voice is saying because the door has been closed on my face. I press my ear to the door.

There's mumbling and then a loud demand. I wait as I listen to the silence, my heart pounds against my chest. Then the door opens and I take an awkward step away from the door, this time I see the same man, his face red as he pulls the door open. I'm holding my breath.

Behind him, another figure comes into my line of sight. He's tall, very tall. A short scruff of a beard growing on his chin, his dark brown hair graying in many places. He's dressed in a red silk night robe. His hazel eyes watch me carefully as the other man steps away from the door completely.

I realize he's waiting for me to say something. I clench my hands into fists, tightening and untightening them, "General?" My voice sounds small and pathetic.

His eyes are still taking me in, my appearance, my expression, every movement I make. I feel so very uncomfortable.

"Who are you?" His voice is surprisingly soft, he takes a step towards the door, but still keeps his distance from me.

"M-My name is Katara. I've come here from the colonies of the Fire Nation," Before I know it I'm speaking all the lies that were fed to me. They leave my mouth rather naturally which makes me feel apprehensive, "I would like to fight as a soldier on the army. I've come here to fight for my father," I say, which isn't all that much of a lie when taken out of context, "My- my uncle told me to speak to you."

He doesn't seem surprised. If I was expecting a reaction from him, I was obviously incorrect. His face is blank, as if he gets these types of visit in the middle of the nights every day. He leans his hip against the doorframe, "Your name, it's not a fire nation name." He says it plainly, not accusing me in any way. Just as if its another fact.

I rake through my mind, "My great grandmother used to have a close friend from the southern water tribe before the war. I was named after her."

He raises an eyebrow, "Not surprising considering you've come from the colonies." There's a testy tone to his voice suddenly. As if he just realized me coming from the colonies is a bad thing.

"Well your uncle was right to tell you to speak to me, I'll give you that. I'll take you in the morning." He's actually about to shut the door. I suddenly panic and grab the door and hold it, so he can't close it. He gives me a confused look.

"I-I…where am I supposed to stay until morning?" My voice is small again. I suddenly feel so disgraced and embarrassed. I wish- I wish so hard I was never sent here. I'm not enough for this. I don't even want to be here. I stare down at the ground and blink hard to try and clear my mind.

He's silent for a long time. Such a painfully long time. I hear the door creak as he opens it wider, "You have no other place to stay? No other arrangements?"

I swallow hard and look up at him, shaking my head.

He sighs roughly as he scrapes his jaw with his hand, "I-I have a number of empty rooms, but…" His words drag on as he looks at me, "You can stay for the night. By tomorrow, you'll be signed up. If you don't make it through the testing, you'll have to go back to where you came from, understand?"

I nod. I want to ask so badly what testing is, but I don't take the risk of ruining the chance of a warm bed. I feel hesitant as he steps aside. I don't even know this man. I don't even know this place. And I'll be sleeping here. I step into his home and he places his hands in his silk robe, apparently suddenly aware of his underdressed appearance.

"Ju Shing will take you to your room. We'll speak again tomorrow," He nods his head before departing to a long staircase. I wonder if anyone else still lives here. I turn to Ju Shing and narrow my eyes slightly as he glares at me. I'm not here to make friends anyways.

He leads me to my room in silence, which I'm perfectly fine with, when he opens the door; I'm not shocked or surprised in any way of the elegance of the bedroom. All I feel is exhaustion as I see the bed only a few feet away from me. The days travelling seems to finally be catching up with me. Ju Shing shuts the door behind him as he leaves.

I reach down in my bag to feel for my mother's necklace. I breathe a small sigh of relief that I didn't know I was holding in. I then collapse on the bed, trying to forget where I am, trying to forget the strange smell of the sheets, trying to forget the weight I'm carrying, trying to forget what tomorrow will bring me. I shut my eyes and pull the covers over my head, letting myself forget everything.

* * *

**I know this was a very short chapter, but I'm really short on time right now. I'll try and have a new chapter up asap. Please review, it helps me write the next chapter quicker. **


	9. Chapter 9

**Enjoy!**

* * *

I am awoken by the extreme silence in the room. I've never slept in a place that was so…quiet? I can't even explain it, my ears are ringing from the silence and I'm not sure I can take it much longer. I try not to think about anything as I get up from the bed. I'm not even sure if I have permission to, but I take a bath.

I'm running my fingers through my damp hair when there's a knock on my door, which is strange because I doubt the sun has even risen yet. I get up and open the door, Ju Shing is standing at my door, an embarrassed expression on his face.

I stand and watch him, waiting for him to say something.

"General Chao would like to speak to you downstairs, bring all your belongings, I'm sure you're leaving," He gives me a dirty look and I return it before shutting the door and waiting until his footsteps fade. I grab my one bag and walk down the long staircase.

Sure enough, General Chao is sitting at the large dining table, but he's not alone. A tall woman sits next to him. She could be beautiful, I guess, in some way, but her eyes are layered with bags and her mouth set into a frown.

When he glances in my direction, he doesn't smile, he just motions for me to come over towards the dining table. The woman glances at me and makes an effort to smile. I awkwardly bow my head to her and take a seat on the opposite end of the dining table.

I've learned to swallow my pride. I've been asking people to take care of me ever since I left home, its no use in struggling anymore. All I can do is be thankful.

They're having breakfast and General encourages me to eat as he explains what is going to happen. He said he'll take me to the new recruitment for soldiers and then I'll be able to stay in the grounds of the soldiers until training starts. It'll be just a week, apparently, and then they'll let only a few people in to become elite soldiers, but because of the fact that the fire nation could use all the soldiers they can get, majority of people will become soldiers, but only a handful become elite soldiers.

Maybe I should have doubts, but I don't. I know I will get into being an elite soldier. I just know it.

Time passes in a way I've never experienced before. Fast. So very fast. General Chao takes me to the grounds of the royal palace, which is closed in by a huge brick fence. It doesn't take very long for General Chao to get us in, he's obviously very important here.

I pay attention when the palace comes into my line of sight. The enormity of it surprises me. It doesn't seem possible for barriers to even be built around such an enormous area, but clearly, I'm mistaken. The palace takes up my entire view in a way I can't even comprehend. It's filled with such elegance and small forms of designs; it almost gives me a headache. Almost.

For me, it all happens in a blur, me being left alone by someone once again, General Chao. Then me standing in the short line consisting of about twelve people who would like to become soldiers. We're all allowed into the grounds for soldiers fairly quickly. A man with a short beard and the biggest muscles I've seen stands in front of us, his hands crossed over his chest. He seems fairly young.

"You'll all be allowed to settle in before training begins."

We're ushered into bunk rooms, each room that you have to share with two people in total. I sit on the edge of my bunk, trying to pull my thoughts together. I place my bag on the bunk. It's a fairly small room; there are only six rooms in total. For all twelve of us. These grounds are apparently only for the trainee soldiers. There seems to be separate grounds all surrounding the palace for every type of soldier.

I look around the room, wondering if I'll have to share with someone. From what I saw, I was the only girl that came as a soldier. As if my thoughts can be read by the world, the door opens slowly. A girl with extremely pale skin walks in slowly then speeding up her steps. She takes long strides towards the bunk.

She doesn't make eye contact with me. I take in her appearance. She has long brown hair and a round face, a few spots freckle her face. She's pretty, I guess. She glances over at my bag placed on the bottom bunk and then her eyes slowly move up to the other bunk. She picks up her bag as if its weightless and tosses it onto her bed. She doesn't get on though.

She stands by a small window and peers out of it until I hear a loud bell. Her entire body jerks to attention and I try to follow her movements, as she seems to be a natural, as she walks out the door and onto the grounds.

All ten soldiers are lined up. All of them boys. I take in their appearances one by one, most of them seem to come from poor areas, but there are a few that stand with the type of arrogance that makes you want to kick them in the back of their knees.

Me and the girl who still hasn't spoken line up in the line. I copy her stance, trying to look as calm as she does. The same man with the short beard walks up in front of us. Every step he takes seems to echo in the silence. I mustn't be the only one holding my breath.

"My name is General Chan, and I will be your instructor for the course of this one week. We are going to be cut short on time due to how much we need soldiers. I'm sure you've all heard of the elite soldiers position, but you only have one week to prove to me you can do it!" He seems to be yelling all of his words.

"I will train you until your muscles ache to catch their breath! I will train you to the best of my ability and you may not be able to keep up, so if you're not up to it, I suggest you pack up right this moment and go home!"

I swear I can hear a few shudders. This guy is intimidating.

"Today, you will each duel someone. Anyone I choose for you. I will assess your skills, and if I see fit, I will send some of you home to make my job easier." He smiles slightly at his words. My hands tighten at my sides.

Everything is moving way too fast and I want the Earth to stop spinning for one second so I can just catch up. My ears ring as he begins yelling out dueling partners. I don't hear who I'm partnered with, his words don't reach my ear, but I see as a guy with straight short black hair begins walking towards me. His face is angular with a strong jawline and sharp hazel eyes. He raises his eyebrows at me as he walks over to me. I can tell he's one of the wealthy.

I immediately regret ever stepping out of the room.

He looks me up and down in a way that makes me furious. My hands clench into fists. He rolls his shoulders back, as if trying to find a way to intimidate me. His eyes finally meet mine and a spark of hatred ignites form within me. His stare is so patronizing, I want to punch the smirk right of his face.

He crosses his arms over his chest, facing me as everyone else is doing to their partners, "I would leave if I were you." He says, his voice condescending.

My teeth grit against each other, I feel like I'm losing control on myself. I've never lost my temper this quickly before, "And why's that?" My voice is venom compared to his.

He shrugs and then scrapes his jaw with his hand, "You're a girl." He says it so plainly, it's almost innocent. That sickens me.

General Chan is yelling something, but I can't hear from all the blood rushing through my ears. I'm holding back my anger in a way I've never held it back before. I need to calm down. I have to calm down. I can't waste my time on someone like this.

"I will not constrict you to using a specific type of fighting at this point. I would like to see whatever any of you can do!" I make out Chan's words. He's circling around us all, analyzing each and every single one of us.

"Take your stances!"

I position my feet shoulder width apart, take a deep breath and face him. He's still smirking, half of his mouth tilted upward. I don't hear Chan as he tells us to begin but he swings first, his fist coming so fast and narrowly missing me, catching me way off guard. I glance up at him, his hands are bent up by his face, his elbows bent too, as if he's ready to spring on his prey any moment.

His eyes gleam and his arm twitches and he punches again, I step to the side, suddenly paying attention to his feet. He's on the balls of his feet, his knees are placed in a way that's easy for me to knock him off his feet. I wait as he swings again, I dodge him.

Suddenly I feel the presence of Chan beside us, he's watching, I can't focus. My thoughts are scattered and I'm trying to pick them up as quickly as I can, but all I can see is Chan's impatient foot tapping beside me in a constant rhythm. I've never felt like this before, I just can't seem to focus. I'm unconsciously watching him swing at me, I'm unconsciously dodging.

I can't remember how to stand. I can't remember how to punch. I feel as if everyone is staring at me as my arms fail to fight back. There's so much I could do, there's so much I can do with his flawed stance. But my body doesn't seem to respond to my thoughts.

"You okay there, girl?" I hear his voice as if it's an echo in a dream. "You look like you're about to cry? I might go easy on you if you cry."

I can still hear Chan tapping his foot, "Stop playing with her," I hear Chan say, "I don't have all day."

I watch as his mouth tilts up and his hand twitches and I feel pain in my jaw, it spreads like a fire across my face and mixes with the blush that's growing on my face. They meet to make myself a spectacular of embarrassment. He just _hit _me. I don't remember not dodging his swing. The world around my seems to dip and sway and I'm caught off balance.

"Are you going to give up? It'll save me time. I don't make a habit of bashing girls' faces, although it won't make much of a difference with a face like yours anyways."

And then my flame of anger explodes inside of me and everything is back in focus. I'm back in the place I've known all my life. I'm in my shoes. My fist swings faster than he can move back and it hits him directly in the jaw with so much force, I hear the crack. I feel the burn in my knuckles with superiority and my blood is boiling beneath my skin.

I pull my foot back and kick him hard in the side; he makes a noise that sounds like a grunt as he tries to dodge my kick. He doesn't get very far before my foot hits him hard. He takes a step back and I'm already closing in on him as my fist springs forward again, it narrowly misses him as he dodges but he attempts to punch back, but his aim is off, and instead of punching back, I grab his arm and hold it with one hand.

"Are you about to cry? I might go easy on you if you cry?" My voice seems too cruel to be my own as the words slip from my mouth.

And slowly, slowly, everyone around us stops fighting and I realize Chan is telling us to stop. I hold his arm in my hand and squeeze my fingers together until I see him grit his teeth. I release his arm and watch as he steps back. He's holding his jaw so tightly, his knuckles white.

And I realize, people are staring at us, watching me as I rub my sore knuckles. My gaze sweeps up to General Chan, and I wonder if I'm in trouble, but as I look around, I realize, I'm being accepted. Ever so slowly. But I know I've taken one step closer to becoming an elite soldier as Chan smiles at me.

I meet the eyes of the guy in front of me and his eyes are filled with hatred for me. I can't help but cross my arms over my chest. Maybe training won't be such a bad thing after all.

General Chan goes over a number of different techniques and forms of fighting and talks about what we will do during the duration of the week, he then dismisses us all to go back to our respective rooms. I see the guy with the bashed jaw walking with a group of guys who all shoot me dirty looks. I've made enemies, but I wasn't sent here to make friends anyways. Enemies will just make my job that much easier.

As I walk back to my room, I hear footsteps running behind me. I turn around just as I see the girl from my room. Her hair is tied back and her face is red from the fighting, when she sees me, she smiles, "That was pretty amazing." She says to me.

I blink for a moment, "It was…it was nothing really."

She grins, "Are you joking? That was the best thing I've seen all day! Kol's face was priceless. He totally wasn't expecting that." I'm surprised at how easily she's speaking to me. As if I'm actually one of her. She's clearly from a wealthy family and I've made it pretty apparent I'm from the colonies.

"Do you- do you know him?" I ask her, finding it strange talking to a fire nation villager without hating them.

She tugs the band that's holding her hair out and runs her fingers through her hair, "He came from my village. He was once friends with my brother."

I slowly nod, knowing I shouldn't ask more considering I barely know her. I pull open the door to our room and let her walk in first. She flops down onto _my _bed which I find sort of annoying, considering I'm exhausted. I stand for a moment, waiting for her to get up. She doesn't.

"You're the girl from the colonies right?"

I nod.

She examines her hands, as if looking for any damage, "That's extremely brave of you, fighting for the fire nation considering the conditions you live in." Her words are so blatant, it's almost impossible for someone to take offense from them.

I cross my arms and repeat the same lie I feel like I've told a number of times, "My father used to be a soldier; he was always loyal to the fire nation. When he died, I decided to fight in his honor. He was the real brave one." Speaking of a father that isn't actually mine still sends an ache through my body as I think of my real father.

She shrugs, as if indifferent to my story.

"I feel like all of this is moving way too fast. The usual process of becoming a soldier takes about a month or so, can you even believe it's being shortened to one week? That's insane."

And I suddenly realize there may just be a plus side to having a sort of friend in the fire nation. She knows more about everything than I'll ever know, no matter how much I try, about the fire nation. I meet her gaze, "What's your name?"

Her eyes widen slightly, "Oh! I completely forgot," She laughs a bit, "My name is Ty Lee, how about you?"

This process of making friends is unfamiliar to me, "Katara."

She nods knowingly, "Total colonial name." She sighs and gets up from my bed. I stifle my sigh of relief, my legs are begging to collapse any moment.

"Do you want to be an elite soldier?"

I analyze the question. Anything I say here could be the wrong thing to say. I carefully stitch my words together, "Don't we all?"

She smiles slightly, "They only take two people from each group. There are only about twenty elite soldiers at the moment." She climbs up to her bed. I collapse onto my own, hoping our conversation has come to an end. My eyelids have never been this heavy.

"Can you believe we have to wake up before the sun rises? That's crazy!"

I respond with a mumble that even I'm not sure what it means.

"I'm already sore, aren't you? How did it even feel to punch Kol? Was it fun?"

I wish she would just stop speaking.

"You the day I'm really scared of?"

I sigh, "What day?" I mumble a response.

I hear her shudder, "The Fire Lord is going to be watching us some days during our training. He's apparently the one who picks the elite soldier."

The mention of him as a real person wakes me up. The mention of him as a real person makes my situation even more realistic and terrifying in a thrilling way. I hear Ty Lee start talking about something unrelated to the fire lord and I tune out.

My eyes shut but I'm wide awake from the mention of the Fire Lord. The most powerful person in this entire world who's blood will soon be on my hands. I squeeze my eyes shut and wait until my exhaustion returns.

* * *

**What did you guys think? I promise the story will start picking up now, I know it's been a lot of plot development, but I hope you guys understand! Thanks so much for reading. Please leave a review, comment or question! **


	10. Chapter 10

**Short Chapter, but Enjoy! **

I wake up to pitch black darkness. I can tell by the silence, no one is awake yet. My thoughts drift to the ship I was on what seems like years ago. I wonder what they're doing now. I wonder what Jane is planning. I wonder where she's keeping my father. I wonder if Jet is watching my every move using his computers. I feel a strange feeling in my chest as I think about Jet. Can he see me now?

I think about everyone I try to forget. I think about Aang. I think about Sokka. I think about gran gran. I think about Chan. I think about the old woman that died in my hands no less than a month ago. I think about Chanzai. I think about General Chao. My brain fills up with all these past encounters and I feel so very heavy.

I lay in bed alone with my thoughts until I hear a loud bell, so loud it seems to shake my bed. I stay in bed, in the darkness as I hear Ty Lee get up and change. She shakes me awake after a few minutes.

"It's time to get up, Katara." She says to me, unaware of the fact that I'm already wide awake. She turns on the lanterns, lighting the room up. She's wearing a fresh uniform. She sees me looking and points to an old dresser.

"Yours is in there too."

I change as quickly as I can as she laces up her boots. The suit fits me pretty well. It's a fire nation suit with the fire nation emblem carried out in the center of the suit. I grab a pair of boots and lace them up, they reach right below my knees. I stand up and brush my hands on the legs of my suit.

Ty Lee glances at me, "Sleep well?"

I gather my hair and tie it up with the band I have around my wrist, I just shrug in response. I follow Ty Lee because she seems to know where she's going to get breakfast better than me. It's a large hall, with a short self-serve table. I take the time to count the soldiers. Nine. Ty lee and I makes eleven. I smile when I notice that Kol isn't here.

I try not to look picky as I try to find food somehow similar to the water tribe food back home. Ty Lee watches me with a smile on her face the entire time. She calmly points out food and I feel embarrassed as I can feel the other guys watching me. My face grows hotter until I finally take a seat.

As I begin eating, I hear the doors open over the loudness of the hall. Kol walks in, the left side of his jaw is swollen, I'm not sure if I've actually broken it or not, but to be fair, my knuckles have been swollen all morning. A few heads turn in his direction, but they all seem to be his friends. He doesn't seem to be fazed at all, if that was what I expected from him.

His head turns in my direction for a moment and our eyes meet. He doesn't look away even as he begins walking. He walks past me without saying a word. He's showing me what I did to him yesterday didn't affect him. His jaw speaks otherwise.

I begin eating as Ty Lee talks about something. I'm not listening. I'm watching all the other soldiers as they eat their breakfast. I find myself doing this a lot suddenly, taking note of all the small things the people from the fire nation do. How they walk, how they talk, how they eat, how they interact with everything and everyone.

If I'm going to be staying here, I'm going to have to practically become someone from the fire nation.

"Today you'll be learning defense! More important than beating your enemy is being able to protect yourself! When you are out fighting for your life, in the end your main goal isn't to win the fight, it is to survive the fight!"

It's the exact opposite of what I thought I would be learning in the fire nation. I listen to him as he assigns us pairs. Everyone seems to know who I am, so I don't need to worry about finding my partner, he's already walking towards me. I'm bracing myself for another guy like Kol.

The guy smiles at me and waves slightly. He only has the chance to exchange a few words before Chan starts speaking again, "Hey, my name's Haru."

I don't have the time to respond.

"One of you will be the attacker and one of you will be the defender. I will be going over some rules of thumb after seeing what you already know!"

I turn to Haru, he's still smiling, "Do you want to be the attacker, or should I?"

I shrug, "I'll be the attacker."

He nods and takes a stance a few steps away from me. Chan tells us to start, I don't hesitate. I don't want to repeat what happened yesterday. I'm in my zone and my arms swings out without any notice. Haru is quick though; he holds up his hand and blocks me swiftly. My other arm is already swinging, near his face; he brings his arm up and blocks my swing successfully.

He's good, I have to admit.

I bring my foot out to kick him in the side and he steps aside just in time. I repeat my motion and he catches my leg, almost knocking me right off my feet. He steadies me before laughing shortly, "Sorry." He lets go of my leg and I brush the strands of my hair back.

I swing my arm out and he blocks, I repeat the motion, quicker, stronger. He blocks all of my hits. This guy even has time to talk to me while he's blocking, "I never got your name?"

I'm breathing heavily as I speak, bringing my foot up to kick him in the side again, "Katara." I say, nailing him in the side. He groans slightly before straightening up and getting back into his stance. I punch him hard; he blocks it, immediately getting back on track.

"That's a…water tribe name? Right?" He blocks another swing and turns on his feet. I swing harder.

"I'm from the colonies, what do you expect?" The lie is so simple coming from my mouth now. I'm transformed this lie into a truth for the time being. I hear Chan to tell us to switch positions and Haru starts swinging at me instantly. I block his swings easily. He may be good at dodging but he's not all that great at striking.

"You're- really good at fighting," He says between heavy breaths. I spin and dodge his kicks swiftly. "Where did you learn?"

I don't know why we're even having a conversation while fighting; we seem to be the only one. I look out of the corner of my eye. Kol is fighting Ty Lee. I silently cheer her on as I block another swing, "Where did you learn?" I ask him, shooting the question back at him.

He smiles a bit before swinging hard, "I've been in an academy ever since, most of us have." He has the time to motion around to everyone else fighting, "But I guess since you're the only one from the colonies, you wouldn't know."

I block two more fast swings in a row.

"How is it like living in the colonies?" He asks me.

I wish he'd stop asking me questions, because he'll soon realize how easily I'm avoiding all of them, "How do you _think _living in the colonies is like?" My voice comes out sounding cold. His cheeks flush for a moment before he shrugs.

"I guess it sucks."

I block a hard swing, my arm burns from the impact, "Yeah- it does." I block of his kicks, by turning to the side, "It really does suck. It's possibly the worst place you could live." I feel like I can't control my mouth as it speaks, "All of you get the vaccine for all the diseases being spread- and- and my father had to work years to just get us all vaccinated, and we're still not safe."

He's intently listening to every single word I'm saying.

"There's no proper food, proper water. People are dying and nobody cares." I push back on one of his swings and he grits his teeth. I'm about to apologize before I think better of it. I'm breathing heavily, but not even from the fighting, I find myself getting angry from the words coming out of my mouth, because I know they're true.

"I'm- I'm sorry to hear that. I mean- it's no one's choice to live there, but…there's nothing anyone can really do to help," He brings his foot up but I catch it before it even comes near me. I don't let go of it.

"What do you mean there's nothing anyone can do to help?" My tone is suddenly flat. His eyes widen slightly and he's struggling to keep his balance, but I don't let go of his foot, "There are people living here who have single meals that could feed an entire village in the colonies. One house for one person that could fit about forty people."

I laugh bitterly and wave my free hand around, "This entire palace? This large estate that only has a few people living in it? My entire village could fit in here." I shake my head and release his foot, he doesn't swing at me, I wish he would, "And you still think there's nothing anyone can do to help?"

His cheeks are now bright red and he notices Chan watching us, we're the only pair who's stopped fighting. He swings at me and I block it, he's quiet for a long time. We both are. He swings silently and I block.

The finally, "I don't know what to say."

I look away from him, repeating Chanzai's words, "Sometimes there just isn't anything to say."

General Chan spends the entire day going over advanced defense movements and stances. We practice until every single bone in my body aches. We're finally allowed to go for dinner. I eat in the silence of my soreness. Ty Lee is strangely quiet as well. I can't help glancing over at Kol, Haru is sitting at his table.

They're all laughing and maybe, maybe it isn't even about me. But I can't help but feeling suddenly so very insecure, and I realize I've already started changing. I've never been insecure until this moment. I can hear the vibrations of the laughter, making their way towards me to taunt me. One of the guys glances over at me and turns back and there's more laughter.

My cheeks are burning and I'm having trouble controlling my anger. It's crazy, even I know that. They probably aren't even talking about me, but I can't help but feel as if they are. Their laughter is filling me with so much embarrassment, so much that I've never even felt before.

I'm getting up and walking because I need fresh air, because I need to get away from everyone, and I hear Ty Lee calling me, but I'm in no condition to stop walking because their voices are getting louder. I walk outside, into the courtyard and I wonder if I'm even allowed to be here.

But only then do I breathe a small sigh of relief. A small weight leaves my body. I lean over the thick railing of the courtyard and look up at the night sky. It's the same sky I looked up at every night in the water tribe. I realize this slowly.

It doesn't matter how much we segregate ourselves, in the end, we all live under one sky, in one planet, in one world.

These are the same stars I grew up watching, the same stars I counted at night, the same stars I used to search for one shooting through the sky to make a wish.

These are the same stars someone here grew up watching, the same stars someone here counted, the same stars someone here searched for a shooting one to my a wish.

This is the same sky everyone lived under every single day of their lives. The Water tribe, the Fire Nation, the Earth Kingdom, the Air Nomads, even the nationless. It's the same sky that hasn't failed to shelter us when we were together, when we all split. It never failed to spread over us like a blanket, covering up all the sins we've committed and still continue committing to this day.

I shut my eyes and try to focus on something, but nothing at the same time.

**Please, please leave a review. I know a lot of you have a lot of questions but I will try and answer them all during this story, so just keep reading, I promise it'll get better! PLEASE LEAVE A REVIEW!**


	11. Chapter 11

**This chapter took me a long time to write and review, so I hope you guys really enjoy it! **

"Hey,"

His voice startles me, I turn around. Haru stares back at me and I stare back at him. His laughter echoes in my ears and I turn away from him.

"Hey," I respond after a while.

He leans against the railing just as I am; his face scrunches up slightly as he stares up at the stars. Maybe I've just met him today, but for some reason there's a feel of familiarity about him. He takes a deep breath, his shoulders shaking slightly as he exhales, he turns to face me and I can barely see his face in the darkness, "Are you okay?"

I nod.

"Why'd you just leave?"

"No reason, I just needed some air," I reply.

He seems like he wants to say something, but he keeps his mouth shut, after all, he's only known me for a day and some. He shakes his head slightly, "He's just kidding."

I glance over at him, "Who?"

"Kol,"

I laugh slightly, "I doubt it."

"Is that why you left?"

"I already told you why I left."

He seems a bit deflated, I glance up at the night sky and then down at the railing. I pick on the damp wood of the railing, my nail getting caught on top of the wood. I grit my teeth hard and pull my hand away, examining my thumb in the moonlight, "Why did you come here?" I ask him slowly.

He turns around, so his back leans against the railing, "It's what everyone here is trained to do, as we get older, we're encouraged to join the army, it's the highest ranking job in our sight," He crosses his arms, "But since the new fire lord came, it's been slightly different, since almost anyone can become a soldier, we're fighting to become elite."

I turn so I'm leaning against the railing as well, "Have you seen him? The Fire Lord?" As soon as the words leave my mouth, I wish I could take them back. I'm not even sure if I should know how he looks.

"Yeah, I mean, we know all about him, maybe not as much as we knew about the fire lord, but…he's our leader, do you guys not learn about him, in the colonies I mean?"

I shake my head before I can process my answer, "No- well I mean…not really, I don't really know how he looks," I want to ask all about him, and the old fire lord, what happened to the old fire lord, but I know I won't be able to justify my questions so I keep my mouth shut.

I notice, though, how his words are so careful when speaking about him. So cautious of every single word that leaves his mouth. He's been taught to do this as a child, they all have. Maybe even people from the colonies. I find it kind of sick, how their opinions are so forced, so planned.

"I should get going," I say to him. Haru nods and watches me as I leave. When I slip into the room, Ty Lee already in her bed, fast asleep. I pull on my nightgown and get into the bed, it creaks under my weight. I shut my eyes, trying to force some sort of an image of the fire lord into my mind.

I wake up the next morning and go through the entire cycle of breakfast until I'm out on the grounds again. I feel slightly off today, my head feels heavy and the rest of my body feels weightless. General Chan isn't out yet, the other soldiers are warming up for the day, having short duels, taking out their swords, even Ty lee is dueling someone.

I feel a hand on my shoulder and I jump slightly. Haru smiles at me, "Do you think its possible General could have slept in today?" I take it as a serious question even though his voice is humorous. I don't see what he finds so funny.

"Do you wanna duel?"

I shake my head no. I'm not feeling good today. There's a heaviness in my body that doesn't seem to be going away. Haru shrugs and crosses his arms, "What's wrong? Did you get any sleep?"

I shrug, I wish he would leave and stop talking to me, there's a part of me that keeps remembering Chan. Is it strange that I've barely thought about him? I've known him ever since I opened my eyes when I was born, it doesn't make sense for me to not think about him.

But I haven't really thought about him. I feel a slight pang of guilt.

I shut my eyes hard, and don't open them until I hear General Chan's yell, making it apparent that he's arrived. Everyone swiftly gets into a line, I stand in between Haru and Ty Lee who may or may not be my newest friends and the only allies I have here.

If I thought General Chan would have told us why he was late, I was mistaken. He shouts out instructions without any notice of his lateness. I try to concentrate, but I can't. My mind is scattering in so many different places and I can't pick up all of the pieces fast enough.

"Did you hear what I said?" And I wonder- I wonder if he could possibly be yelling at me.

I look behind me to find no one behind me, he's walking towards me, and my entire body feels like collapsing because suddenly I'm not strong. I'm as weak as I've always been on the inside. I feel small and alone as he towers over me and I'm having trouble breathing.

When did I become so helpless?

"I'm talking to you! What did I just say?"

Everyone is staring at me and I can actually feel Kol's eyes laughing in my face. Back in the Southern Water tribe, no one ever spoke to me like this in my entire life. My hands are clenching, because I've done nothing wrong. I know that.

"Are you _deaf_?" His words are so cold, so extremely menacing. I wish I could just apologize but I have some sort of pride left within me that forces me to keep my mouth shut. And everyone's watching, waiting for me to have some sort of response or reaction to his words.

"Since you're obviously lacking in your senses, I'll repeat myself. I said for you to come up here and demonstrate a block you would use for a middle hit," He looks around at everyone else, "Did you hear what I said this _time_?"

I hear a few nervous laughs, as if General Chan gave them special permission to insert laughter at his pathetic attempt at a joke. Humor doesn't suit him.

I walk up stiffly; I stand in front of them all, trying to regain some form of confidence. I look only at Haru and Ty Lee as I perform the stance. I spread my feet apart, hold my arms out parallel to each other and do a quick movement.

General looks at me and there's a glint in his eyes, "Again."

I repeat my stance, sharpening every small movement.

He crosses his arms, "Again." This time I hear the laughter. He's making a joke of me. In front of everyone.

And I can feel my blood boiling as I do the stance once more, the last time. When I look up at him, he's not even masking his smirk. He nods his head slightly, "Again."

My hands clench into fists so tight, adrenaline rushes into my body so quickly, "Are you _blind_?" My voice is loud, strong. Mine. "If you need to see the stance so much, you might as well be standing in _that_ line." As the words leave my mouth, I know I've made a horrible mistake, but my anger isn't taking a sign of disappearing.

I hear Ty Lee and Haru stifle laughs.

For once, he looks at a loss for words. I've never felt this great in days. General Chan opens his mouth to say something when I hear doors open, its loud but not obnoxious. Everyone turns in the direction of the doors opening. Two soldiers are walking out, dressed in full armor.

I end up standing and watching as everyone drops to a bow of some sort, like I've never seen in the Southern Water Tribe. I'm the only one left standing as a figure swiftly walks out of the doors, rich red robes follow the steps his golden plated shoes take.

I find myself just staring as the rest of his figure comes into my view. He's tall, long and built strong, powerful. His raven hair is pulled up into a traditional fire nation clip at the top of his head. His face is lined with a strong jawline and a straight nose. He has a spare upper lip and a full lower lip. His eyes are so deep-set that his eyelashes touch the skin under his eyebrows, and they are golden, a dreaming, sleeping, waiting color. A colour someone could get lost in.

He's young, maybe a year or two older than me, so young he doesn't seem to be someone old enough to be taken so importantly.

He's handsome. So very handsome, the type of attractiveness you don't see in a regular person and I find myself just…staring. He's beautiful.

There's one imperfection. One flaw on his face. One small thing that makes me stare even longer. A long scar lines his entire left eye, taking up an entire quarter of his face. I'm staring at him in slow motion, taking in everything about him when I hear the words.

"Your majesty," General Chan says them, slowly getting up from his bow.

And I freeze. Every single part of me freezes and I'm still watching him as he replies, says something in response to Chan's words. But I am frozen in a way I've never seen before and I can't even understand. That this- this boy could be who I think he is. Who I'm hoping he's not.

I wish I could keep up with something- anything that's happening around me because there's talking and movement and for once I can't catch up and I've fallen so far behind, I'll never be able to catch up.

This is the fire lord? This boy is the leader of this entire nation? This is who I've been sent here to murder? I'm taken short steps back, backing up until I bump into someone. Haru touches my arm and says something but all I can hear is my blood pumping through every vein in my body, pulsating towards my brain to make some sense of something.

He's here. The fire lord is actually here. Standing a few meters away from me, and I just can't string myself together. I can't pull myself together like I'm so used to doing. I'm still staring at- at the fire lord- and wondering what is going on. Because I can't trust myself with believing this is the fire lord, this is the person I'm supposed to wonder.

He's so, so very young. Younger than any leader I've ever known about, heard about, seen. How could he be the leader of the most powerful nation when everything about him still screams the thoughts of youth? I'm struck by his youth- so utterly caught off guard.

I could have prepared for everything but this moment- this moment is something no one could have prepared me for. Someone is steadying me, and I wonder when I've suddenly needed steadying. Haru shakes me slightly, his voice is low.

"Pull yourself together," He hisses into my ear before he gently pushes me back into the line, next to Ty Lee who says something to me quietly, barely moving her lips, but I don't process her words.

The Fire Lord is walking, taking swift steps down the steps of the large porch in front of the fields. His clothes are perfectly fitted, pressed and worn. His soldiers the ideal bodyguards, "I would like to see how they're doing," His voice is deep and dense. The command is cool and strong like steel, dangerously calm, effortlessly powerful.

General Chan is still caught off guard, a mixture of me and a surprise visit from the bodyguard, "Yes- yes of course your highness."

Before I know it, the Fire Lord is so close to me, only a couple feet away, slowly walking past us, looking at us briefly. I wish the ground would swallow me whole, I wish my body would disappear into background that no one takes the time to look at. If he sees me, he'll be able to tell, I know he will. I'm staring down at the ground, watching his shoes as they walk past me.

He doesn't stop, just simply walks past me. His soldiers follow behind him. Elite soldiers?

"We're currently going over defence, your highness."

He reaches the other side of the fields before turning around slowly; every single step is slow and calculated, planned. This is the same person who plans all these attacks, who's been carrying out this war, who's been fueling the hatred that spreads like a wildfire in our world, who could have changed the world after his father died, but chose not to. He _chose _to follow in his father's footsteps and that's what makes my hatred scar my insides deeper than anything ever could.

He had a choice to fix it all, and he chose the wrong choice. The easy choice. The choice of cowardice.

And that is why I am here. To make him pay for the mistakes he's made. The mistakes that have left thousands lost, hungry, dead and hopeless.

**So he's finally in the story! WHAT?! I really hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, please, please leave your thoughts, reviews or criticism, it really keeps me going, please leave a review and tell me what you thought of this chapter. **

**Thoughts on the Fire Lord?**

**Thoughts on Katara's reaction to seeing the Fire Lord?**


	12. Chapter 12

**Enjoy! **

* * *

I'm picking up on every word that passes by his lips, picking up on every action that moves through his body. Watching every single breath he takes, every single footstep. Every step is calculated and confident, every word precise and demanding.

There's no doubt he's the fire lord.

I feel someone nudge me hard, Ty Lee gives me a sharp look as she slowly curtsies, her eyes begging me to follow her movements, I look up and see that the fire lord is leaving. I force my knees to bend and force my eyes to lower as I curtsy to the fire lord.

I look up slightly as he turns around, his soldiers follow him as he leaves, he jogs up the stairs slightly and then huge doors slam shut behind him and are locked by the soldiers standing at the doors. General Chan slowly looks back at us, he seems slightly dumbfounded, slightly off, apparently forgetting to continue embarrassing me speaks, "Today we duel."

By the time we break for dinner, my arms throb from all the fighting and my legs ache all the way up to my hips. My entire body feels like one gigantic bruise, sore and mangled. I practically collapse onto the table in front of Ty Lee who watches me with a stern expression. I begin eating but she takes her time wording her sentence.

"What's wrong with you?" She finally asks.

I glance at the line for the food, Kol shoves someone and they fall to the ground, a bowl of a strange fire nation soup substance spilling everywhere, a small drop of soup lands on the edge of our table and Ty Lee makes a face, then turns back up to look at me.

I shrug, "What do you mean?"

She crosses her arms, "I understand that you didn't live in the best conditions in the colonies of whatever, but, I mean, he's- he's our _fire lord. _What is wrong with you?"

I think of a logical response but decide to just shrug instead, "Aren't you going to eat?" I ask, changing the topic.

She shakes her head, "I'm not hungry."

I take a bite of the soup. It's lost its warmth and although there's not much taste to it, I devour it. I'm starving.

"Mind if I sit here?" I glance up and Haru is standing next to me, holding his tray as he taps his free finger on the table.

Ty Lee makes a face, "What? You're not going to sit with your friends today?" Her tone is colder than I've ever heard it before.

"They're not my friends," He says, gently setting the tray down next to me. I scoot over to give him some space on the wooden bench, "Just because I'm from their town doesn't mean I'm friends with them."

He turns to face me, "Besides, I wanted to talk to you."

I straighten up slightly, "About what?"

His eyebrows lower, "You're lucky the Fire Lord or one of the soldiers didn't notice you."

I run a hand down my forehead, "Why? Would they have killed me or something?"

He leans his elbow on the table, "Who knows what they would do. The old fire lord killed a man himself because of something like what you did. Who's to say the new fire lord isn't the same?"

"That's not fair," I say and both Ty Lee and Haru look up at me, "It's not fair that's he's allowed to do whatever he wants." And I wonder if I've taken it too far.

Haru shakes his head and makes eye contact with Ty Lee, "I get it, I get why you may not respect him as we all do- but you just can't go around saying stuff like that about him. It's considered treason."

I sigh and just look away, because frankly, there's no use in trying to turn them against their own leader.

"Why did he come today anyways?"

Ty Lee shrugs, "No one knows, even General Chan was surprised. I mean there's days where he's supposed to be there, the fire lord I mean; he's supposed to watch us fight. But I didn't realize he'd come so early."

Haru nods, "I don't even think he has a say in who he wants as his soldiers, I mean, he could have a say if he wanted to, but I think he chooses not to have one."

"Will he- will he be there tomorrow?" I don't know why, but the thought of seeing him again makes me feel intimidated.

"Nobody knows," Haru replies, shaking his shoulders.

I wish his response wasn't so unresponsive.

I go straight to bed, listening to the sound of flowing water as Ty Lee takes a bath. Why does he even need to watch us as we fight? It's not like he'll be giving any orders, why doesn't he just let General Chan teach us? I force my eyes shut and force the adrenaline racing through my body out, and finally go to sleep.

By the time we're on the fields the next morning, everyone is tense. It looks like I'm not the only one who didn't get a good night's sleep. The fire lord isn't here yet, but everyone knows he's coming and that's what's keeping everyone, even General Chan on edge.

Ty Lee nudges me slightly, "You okay?"

I shrug and open my mouth to say something when General Chan interrupts us.

"Today we'll be going over self-defense procedures. What to do when you're being attacked, how to protect yourself etcetera."

"Didn't we do this yesterday?" I hear Ty Lee whisper in my ear. Haru elbows her hard and I know General Chan heard her.

He stops talking for a brief moment and turns to look at us, he starts walking up towards Ty Lee and I feel a reply of yesterday about to happen- only instead of me, it's Ty Lee.

"Since you seem to know everything, why don't you come up here and show us?" He leans in towards Ty Lee and smiles, a sickly sweet smile, "Come on now, don't be shy."

Ty Lee is anything but shy; she keeps her head held high as she walks in front of all of us. Haru takes a deep breath but doesn't exhale. Chan stands, his arms crossed, "Kol! Come here." Kol snaps to attention and a sick feeling settles in my stomach as he walks over to Ty Lee.

When he walks over, Chan takes a step back, "Hit her." There's murmurs then silence as Kol glances at Chan.

"W-what?" His voice sounds small. Ty lee places her hands on her hips.

Chan nods, "You heard me."

Kol looks at Chan for a moment and then back at Ty Lee.

Chan crosses his arms over his chest, "Since you know this all, you should know you're not allowed to attack in response because this is simply a self-defence procedure," He looks at Kol and motions for him to begin.

Kol swings, hard. Ty Lee's first action is to take a step back, which is wrong. Kol swings again and he hits her, skims the side of her face. I clench my teeth hard. She seems unfazed and she swings back. Chan shakes his head.

"You do not swing back!" He bellows.

Ty Lee glances away as Kol swings and it nails her hard right in the jaw. She's knocked off her balance but Kol swings again and I shut my eyes for a moment because I know how bad his punches hurt. I speak from experience, unfortunately.

I hear a grunt from her and when I open my eyes she's on the floor. I feel my throat begin to close up because Chan doesn't seem to want any of this to stop and whatever repercussions Kol had about this, he's obviously over them.

I watch as he kicks Ty lee in her side and I want to say something, because this isn't fair. Chan is actually just bullying her for no apparent reason. Ty Lee holds her hands above her head, shielding it in a very vulnerable way. She's holding in every single scream that's racking her body with each hit. _Get up. _

Kol stops, for the briefest inch of a second, and for a moment, just for a fraction of a moment, I see something in his eyes. Fear.

"Did I tell you to stop?" Chan asks, his voice louder than usual.

Kol kicks her side again, sending Ty Lee sprawling on her back. Haru's hand grabs my arm so tightly and pulls me to his side as if he's in need of some support. I bite my tongue because I'm a coward. Because I'd rather see her facing these repercussions then dealing with them myself.

Ty lee clutches her rib cage and then holds up a hand, blood is dripping down the side of it, "Stop!" Ty Lee wails, Kol pulls his foot back to kick again, she coughs, "Stop! I'm…" She inhales so heavily, as if her insides are breaking, "I'm done."

Kol drops his foot back to the ground, his hands stay clenched as fists at his sides. Chan stands, not saying anything, watching as Ty lee tries to get up. He just watches her for a moment, savoring her pain. He slowly walks over to her, every movement slow, and stands above her with his arms crossed.

"I'm sorry, what did you say? You're done?" He says quietly.

Ty lee pushes herself to her knees and every muscle in my body is locked.

"What did you say?" He repeats his question.

I'm walking towards her, because I'm not she'll even be able to survive the next few moments of torment. Chan holds up a hand, "Don't take another step."

My foot freezes in space.

"What did you say?"

Ty Lee clenches her fists on her lap and forces her eyes to meet Chan's. She's not relenting, I can tell by the stubbornness fitted over her eyes. I wish she would relent, I wish she would apologize. Instead she doesn't move, she continues maintaining eye contact with Chan.

"Get up," His voice is quiet, so quiet yet so precise. And I wish he would yell, because it would make it normal. But his voice is not normal, and I know he has worse planned for her. Right as Chan looks away from her, as if the little show he put on is done, both Haru and I run out to help her.

I grab her arm and she laces it around my back as Haru helps her up. The only thing that hits me is guilt as some of her blood stains the ground as a remembrance of my cowardice. As a remembrance of what I could have done to help her.

A part of me can't believe that I'm helping a fire nation resident, that I'm friends with a fire nation resident. But the blood on the ground reminds me it's not the ground that's been separating us or the enormous walls we've put up between the nations. It's us ourselves that have put up these barriers that have been separating us for years.

Otherwise we're all the same.

We would have continued hobbling towards our room unless he didn't say something. Unless we didn't hear his voice.

"From what I recall, that's not defence procedure." And everyone turns around to face him; Ty Lee somehow finds it in her to curtsy as Haru and the other guy's bows down to the Fire Lord. I stand stiffly; he's looking directly at Ty lee. His golden eyes taking in her appearance, they slowly drag from her to Chan who's bowed down.

My first and only thought is wondering how long he's been watching.

He's holding the same railing I was holding just a couple of days ago, the railing that gave me a splinter. His guards stand around him, stiffly watching everything. I'm still holding Ty Lee up, a part of me just wants to get her into the room before she collapses, but neither me or Haru can find it in us to move.

General Chan finally speaks, "Your highness," He stands up from his bow and straightens up.

The fire lord crosses his arms over his chest and the action seems too casual to be used by royalty, "Although, I could be mistaken General." It's not even that his voice is so powerful; it's the authority it holds. His golden eyes flash slightly with an unread emotion. He walks down the long steps to the fields and his guards follow him, beside him on every step.

His lips stay in a straight line, "You tell me."

Chan is standing and the tips of his ears are bright red. How is he supposed to explain something like this?

"It was to teach a lesson." Chan replies, his lips dry.

One side of the fire lord's lips turn upwards, slanting his smile, "And what lesson is that?"

Chan is seriously in hot water. The fire lord's not letting him off that easy. I still wonder, why would he care anyways? This is what his soldiers are trained to do anyways. He's _his _general after all.

"It was her lesson for showing disrespect," He finally says.

The fire lord stares at him for a moment, hard, and then he turns towards us, "Take her inside, a nurse will come to her immediately." His voice is suddenly softened and I can feel him watching us as we turn around. I can almost feel the heat of his stare, a stare belonging to someone so powerful. Ty lee's face is red all over; I'm hoping it's not just because of the Fire Lord's appearance.

I push the door open as Haru helps Ty lee to her bed, he gently sets her down as she inhales hard, she's still bleeding. I sit on the window ledge, watching her as Haru props up a few pillows for her to rest on.

"Where does it hurt?" I heard Haru ask her.

Despite everything, she smiles painfully, "Everywhere."

I shut my eyes and lean my head against the wall as I hear them exchange a few more words. Haru clears his throat, "Will you guys be okay?"

I open my eyes and nod, "A nurse is coming- or at least that's what he said." I say, trying not to sound sarcastic, but it seeps through my words.

Haru gives me a warning glance before turning and leaving. I don't bother asking him if he's returning to go back to the fields. I look over at Ty Lee who's holding the side of her rib. Sure enough, a nurse rushes in.

I don't watch as she fixes whatever parts of Ty lee are broken. When she's done, she leaves without another word.

I glance over at Ty lee, "You okay?"

She nods, "I'm better than before." She presses one of her hands to her face, "I can't believe the _fire lord _was there."

I scoff, "So can't I. Couldn't he have done something other than watch you get beaten up?" A pang of guilt hits me_, I could have done something_.

Ty Lee's eyes widen, "What are you _talking_ about? He showed up when he did and made Chan almost piss his pants, it's the most he could have done. He practically saved me." There's a dreamy tone in her voice that makes me nauseous.

I look away from her and shrug.

"He is so handsome," She says with a sigh, "I can't believe he actually spoke to us! He's even nicer than I could have imagined!"

I roll my eyes and pull my legs up onto the ledge. I wrap my arms around my knees and rest my head on my knees. There's no use in convincing her otherwise, she's speaking from the lies she's been fed as a child.

I know I should return to the fields but I can't bring myself to get up and walk back to the stain of blood on the ground- or the fire lord. I turn my head so my cheek is pressed flush against my knee.

I hear her sigh quietly, "Do you think I'll be forced to leave?"

My head snaps up, "No I don't," I say, "What you showed today was more courageous than any other soldier out there could have shown." And I mean it. But I leave out the part that she more than likely doesn't have a chance at becoming an elite soldier since she's officially on Chan's bad sides, but I'm no one to talk.

I'm sure I won't be an elite soldier either. I'm not exactly on his good sides.

It brings up the questions that no one answered. What will happen if I can't become an elite soldier? Will I have failed the entire mission?

Ty lee straightens up and then groans from the pain, "I want to think today was embarrassing, but it wasn't really. I mean anyone would have done what I did, right?"

I nod, but I'm having trouble paying attention to her words. Ty Lee doesn't realize that I could have- but didn't bother- to help her out. She doesn't realize that I chose to watch her in pain over being in it myself. Maybe I shouldn't be beating myself up over this, but if it was happening to me, would Ty lee have helped?

I can't take the guilt away the rest of the day, even as a nurse brings Ty Lee dinner. Even as I'm forced to get my own dinner from the dinner hall. I meet up with Haru in the line and he smiles slightly, "how's she doing?"

I nod, "Fine."

We don't say anything as we both get our trays of food. I take a seat at the table we sat in yesterday, and only then does he thought occur to me that Haru was in the same position. He could've helped as well, he chose not to.

But he's from the fire nation and I'm not. I've been taught better.

"What's wrong?" He asks me.

I've been so quiet, so inexpressive ever since I came. I decide to change that. I cross my hands and place them on the table next to my tray, "When Ty Lee was being hurt...it wasn't fair to her right? I mean- she didn't deserve what she got, right?"

Haru nods right away, "Of course, Chan's crazy." I'm kind of surprised he'd say something like that. But then again, it's not like he's the only one thinking it.

"So…why didn't you do anything? Why didn't either of us do anything? She's kind of our friend, it was wrong, so we should have done something."

Haru stares at me then looks down, "I know," he finally says, "But I couldn't risk my chance at becoming an elite soldier. You don't understand Katara, the real competition is becoming an elite soldier. We're all going to become a soldier, but I can't risk getting on Chan's bad side."

At least he has a reason why he didn't help her. His words make me feel even worse.

He's quiet for a moment before speaking again, "What could we have done? Told Chan to stop so we could take her place? Then wouldn't Ty Lee feel the guilt you're feeling now? Then she would, in return, told Chan to stop to take our place."

He shrugs, "Yeah we could have and should have helped her, but it wouldn't make a difference. It would just make you not feel guilty," he sighs, "The truth is, no one's here to make friends. We can pretend we'll stand by each other, but it doesn't make a difference. It's a competition."

His words are so true, they hurt.

That night I go to sleep with the weight of the guilt and the weight of the world's hope. I'm hoping I won't end up suffocating from all these weights.

* * *

**Please review or leave any thoughts, questions or criticism you have Thanks for reading!**

**Thoughts on Zuko?**


	13. Chapter 13

**I promise this story will start to pick up! Enjoy!**

* * *

I wake up early in the morning, earlier than I should be up, I peek down at Ty Lee who's still fast asleep. I slip out of my cot and pull my boots on as I grab a fresh suit to wear. I walk into the washroom which is dimly lit by a few lanterns and pull off my clothes. I toss them into a basket for dirty clothes and step into the shower.

The cold stream of water hits me and I shiver as the water warms up. I rake my fingers through my hair as the water slowly heats up until its comfortable warmth to take a shower in. I quickly wash myself up and then pull on my new clothes. I stand in front of the broken mirror and don't look in it too long as I swiftly tie my wet hair up.

When I walk out of the washroom, Ty Lee's sitting up on her bed.

"Do you feel any better?" I ask her.

She nods slowly then stands up, gritting her teeth, "I have to go to the fields today."

I give her a look, "You can barely walk."

She crosses her arms and her eyebrows lower, "I won't even have a chance at becoming an elite soldier if I sit around her all day." She shakes her head and walks into the washroom. I shrug in response and lace up my boots tightly.

We walk into the dining hall together and Haru runs up to us, he looks at Ty Lee, his face suddenly serious, "Why are you out of bed?"

She rolls her eyes and gets in line for breakfast, doing her best to look like she's not in pain, "I can't sit around all day. I'm fine. I can do this."

Haru's eyebrows lower but he doesn't say anything as he gets in line behind me. The next thing I see is Kol, walking up to Ty Lee. I clench my fists.

Ty Lee gets her tray and takes a step forward before noticing him.

He smirks, "Well look who's up, you sure you don't need a few more weeks to rest?"

Her face reddens, "Shut up Kol, I'm not the one who was knocked down by one girls punch." She shoves his shoulder hard as she walks by him. Kol looks at me, the smirk still on his face, "Who? Her?" He calls back to Ty lee, "She's a girl?"

My hand flinches and there's a burning in my knuckles and Kol is holding the hurt side of his jaw and I glance down at my knuckles which are red. Haru grabs my arm before it swings out again and guides me to our table, he forces me to sit down and says something to me but I can't hear him over the anger that's pulsing through me.

Kol is still standing there, he finally turns around and shoots me a glare before walking up to us, Haru gets up and stands between me and Kol.

"Knock it off, Kol." He says, his voice louder than I've ever heard it.

Kol still doesn't seem angry, his jaw is bright red, "You better watch it colonial." He says through his teeth before sitting down at his own table. I force my eyes to not look back at him, to drown out the laughter I hear from his table.

Ty Lee glances at me, but doesn't say anything as she quietly eats her food.

My face burns from heat and I hate so much to admit it, but his comment _hurt. _I shut my eyes, I know I'm not pretty. I know I'm not desirable. I know I'm not built the way majority of girls are, skinny and curvy in all the right places. It's never mattered much to me before. But his comment makes my eyes burn.

I take a deep breath and force the food down my throat. We eat in silence for the remaining breakfast.

When we walk onto the fields, I'm shocked to say the least that the fire lord is standing in the shade of the covered railing, speaking to Chan. He has two guards by his side.

His golden eyes glance briefly at all of the soldiers as we file out, but then he returns to his conversation with Chan. I watch him as he speaks, he doesn't move his hands as he speaks but his eyes show all the expressiveness of the conversation. There's a few more words passed back and forth as some of the soldiers begin dueling.

Ty Lee watches me and Haru as we duel. Haru swings at me and I block then bring out my other arm and swing harder at him. The fact that I know the fire lord could be watching us makes my moves more precise, more accentuated, more focused.

The back of my mind calculates that there is exactly two more days until the final day where we will be tested on all we know and the elite soldiers will be chosen. I missed one day which makes the odds not exactly in my favour but then again, majority of these soldiers don't even know basic fighting methods.

Haru places his weight on his left leg and swings from his right; I turn my arm and hold it out to block the kick. I swing my arm and he ducks and I swing again and he blocks.

General Chan yells at us to get in line and I stand between Ty Lee and Haru. Chan looks at Ty Lee as if thinking of something to say to her, he briefly nods, "Glad to see you're back soldier." He says to Ty Lee whose eyes narrow ever so slightly. At least while the fire lord's here, Chan won't try to get us all killed.

"Today I'll be putting you in groups of three, where two of you will be the attackers and one of you will be the victim." He explains the instructions in more detail than he usually does then he calls out names.

I know he won't put me in a group I'll be able to work in.

"Lee, Katara and Kol!" I groan inwardly as I make eye contact with Kol. We all get into our groups as Chan goes over a few more details. I glance at the fire lord who is watching intently, he seems so focused all the time, as if nothing could confuse him or knock him off his guard.

I look away from him as Chan tells us to begin. I'm the victim, of course, and Lee and Kol are the attackers. They don't waste time, their swings are already coming for me, I hold up my arm as I block and then I kick Lee's ankles, knocking him quick off his feet.

Kol swings his leg and it hits me hard in my side, winding me. I gasp for air but Lee gets back up and they're both up again, I swing as hard as I can and hit Kol in the shoulder and I kick at Lee but he dodges. I have to just stay on my feet, whatever happens; I have to stay on my feet so neither of them can kick my head.

I keep my feet planted firmly on the ground as I dodge two swings in a row, I bring one foot out from beneath me and kick Kol as hard as I can in his knee, I hear a cracking noise, but he barely seems bothered by it as he punches me and pain stabs my jaw.

Lee's punches are faster than Kol's but not as powerful, Kol takes longer calculating where to hit. I can use their weaknesses against them. I punch as hard as I can, until my knuckles scream out in pain, my punches hit Lee slowly but with more power than I could have imagined, Kol hits me in my side again and I kick him three times in a row as fast as I can and he grunts.

I duck as both of them swing and I'm behind them, I take a quick breath and jump up as high as I can, my feet swing forwards and I hit them both in the back of their heads, together in unison they topple to the ground. Kol is on his feet in no time while Lee groans on the ground.

His hand shoots forward and grabs my hair, still slightly damp, and punches me in the nose with his free hand. This pain is difference, less of a stab and more of a cracking that spread to my brain. My vision is spotted and I squint my eyes and my entire face is wet, blood? I think, from my nose.

On my feet, I just have to stay on my feet. I shove Kol off me hard and punch him in the ribs and hold his arm with the other, I twist it backwards until he groans. He shoves me and I fall to the ground, every piece of my skin scrapes against the ground. On my feet. I push myself up onto my knees, but I can barely see and the entire world in spinning around me.

Out of my peripheral vision, I see the fire lord glancing behind him and turning back to say something to the soldiers. Apparently this fight isn't interesting enough for him.

I can see the figure of Kol's body as he hits my side, my entire body throbs in response to the pain, but then it numbs. My entire body feels numb from the pain for just a moment. My hands are still on the ground, I lift them up and hold them in front of my face, I knee Kol hard and he grunts.

"_Who? Her?" _His words echo in my ears, back and forth, _"She's a girl?" _

The anger inside of me bubbles to a furious fire that's exploding from within me. There's a hungry part of me that wants him dead, so badly, that wants to see his body on the ground, his eyes lifeless. I grab his arm and twist it the wrong way so hard, I hear multiple cracks and he swings at me with the other one, it hits me somewhere but I'm not sure where.

I'm pulling myself up off the ground and kicking Kol so hard, his breaths come out in gasps until he's on the ground and I'm grabbing fistfuls of anger and bashing him in every part of his body I can hit.

Chan's yelling at me. To stop, maybe? But I don't want to stop. Kol is coughing hard, he's bleeding. Good. He should be bleeding.

I'm being pulled off of him, I don't fight whoever's pulling me off, I allow them to pull me off Kol.

"You okay?" I hear Haru's breathy voice in my ear. I can finally see again, my visions returning to its sharpness and I can take in everything. A couple of groups are still fighting, but no one's done as much damage as I've done to Kol.

It's still nothing comparable to what happened to Ty lee yesterday because he's peeling himself up off the ground. He limps as he gets up and Chan doesn't say anything to him or Kol but he looks at me with…approval? Satisfaction? I can't tell, but whatever it is, it makes me feel sick.

I catch my breath as the remaining groups finish. No one mentions what I did to Kol. Chan starts talking about another exercise we'll be starting today.

"You'll be working alone for this one, I will demonstrate a couple of moves and you will repeat them, simple enough?"

We stand in a long line, with large gaps of separation between us; I glance at Ty Lee who doesn't look back at me. I look away from her and try to ignore the throb of my entire body. Out of the corner of my eye, I see the fire lord walking down the long steps.

General Chan stands in front of us all, facing us, as he demonstrates the first set of moves. He holds out his hands and does a strong kick while keeping his leg straight. The fire lord is speaking to a soldier at the other end of the line. I copy the kick twice, just as everyone else does.

The fire lord is speaking to everyone separately, giving them small pieces of advice. I find this so very strange, he's the fire lord, he's already hired someone to teach us, why is he doing it himself? It bothers me and I can't focus when he gets to Haru. I hear him speak, his voice low. I can't hear what he's saying.

Chan does a series of punches followed by a short stance. I copy his punches when I feel his presence near me. He stops beside me, my insides twist in a way I've never felt them twist before. I never thought the person I would be murdering would ever be in such close proximity to me. He stares at me as I copy the punches, his eyes follow my body from head to toe and I feel bare even though it's a practical gaze.

He nods as I complete copying Chan, "You have muscle," He says to me, "Use your arms and legs instead of just your elbows and knees." I don't make eye contact with him, I keep my head forward as I nod in response to his words.

He presses a hand to my stomach and I can't breathe, his fingers are long and deft, his hand warm. My insides freeze and I turn my head to look at him, my eyes wide. His golden eyes are lowered, long eyelashes shading them, staring at his hand, "Make sure you keep tension here, it'll make your combat more accurate." He removes his hand and walks past me, to Ty Lee.

I feel the ghost of his hand on my stomach.

When we're finally allowed to leave for dinner, Ty Lee runs up to me, her face is bright hand, "Can you believe that?" She breathes quietly and looks around.

I keep my head facing forward, "What are you talking about?"

"He spoke to us one on one, the fire lord," Her voice is filled with excitement, "Doesn't he smell do good? He's even more handsome close up, I'm pretty sure my face was on fire when he spoke to me."

I take a deep breath, but don't say anything.

After dinner, I climb into bed almost immediately. I'm used to the silent throb of my body as I go to sleep these days, but it's worse than usual. I wonder if Ty lee's asleep.

"Ty Lee?" I say her voice quietly.

"Mmm?"

I sit up on my bed, "Are you asleep?"

I hear her sit up as well, "Yeah, I just sleep talk a lot, what's up?"

I smile slightly as I climb off my bunk and sit on the window ledge, I wonder if it's safe to ask this question, but I can't keep it inside of me any longer, "Can I ask you something?"

She nods as she yawns, smoothing back her hair.

"What- what happened to the old fire lord?"

Her eyes brighten slightly and she wraps her arms around her knees, "He was assassinated."

My throat closes up ever so slightly, "How? I mean- by who?"

She shrugs, "I'm not sure, but I hear the assassin came from the Earth Kingdom. That's why Fire Lord Zuko is so careful about everything; there's been so many attacks on him and the palace from the Earth Kingdom," She sighs, "It's been brutal for him ever since he became the fire lord."

It wouldn't be brutal if he just ended the war.

"He's been working so hard in helping out the fire nation, he travels a lot these days, helping out small villages," She looks me directly in the eye, "Especially the colonies."

She shifts in bed and groans and holds her rib.

"Does it still hurt?" I ask her.

She shrugs, "Not as much, anyways, the entire nation really respects him for that, but sometimes he really doesn't get treated as he should. He's working so hard and there' still so many generals and villagers who don't trust him because he's too young and inexperienced."

I remember Jane telling me about that, how he's in the weakest position he could possibly be in. I bring my knees up and wrap my arms around them, "What do elite soldiers do?"

She glances down at her feet, "They go everywhere with him, wherever he goes when he travels, his elite soldiers come with him. The other soldiers are just here to protect the palace and him while he's here."

"That's why it's so important for many of us to become elite soldiers, it's a big deal."

A new thought comes into my mind, one that hasn't come into my mind ever since I arrived here, "Can you…can you fire bend?" I ask her slowly.

She smiles and shakes her head, "Some of the soldiers can fire bend, but I can't, can you?"

I shake my head.

"Haru can," She tells me. I make note of asking him to show me.

"Can the fire lord firebend?" I ask her.

Her eyes light up, "Yes- yeah he can, and I hear he's really good at it."

I laugh, "You hear?"

She crosses her arms over her chest, "What? People talk about him okay? Now if you don't mind, I'm getting tired of sleep talking. Good night to you." She grabs her sheets and pulls them over her head.

I smile and climb back into my own cot and stare up at the ceiling in the darkness until I go to sleep.

The next day passes by faster than I can handle. Fire lord Zuko doesn't show up, he must have gotten bored yesterday and realized he has more important things to do like carry out a war. We go over everything we've learned since we arrived here and by the time we're done, everyone is limping in one way or the other.

I massage my knuckles which seem to remain permanently red as we all collapse in the dining hall for dinner. Ty Lee seems to be going through hell as she barely can keep herself standing up, she limps her way to get her tray then falls onto the seat. I grab my tray and follow Haru and we both sit down.

"You hanging in there?" Haru asks Ty lee.

She takes a deep breath, "Just one more day, I'll survive."

Haru smiles, "That's the thing about becoming a soldier; you'll need your strength for the rest of your life. Especially if your elite." Ty lee rolls her eyes, "Besides you'll need all your energy for tomorrow."

I nudge him hard, "I don't think your helping."

He laughs, "Sorry," He says to Ty lee, "But I'm pretty sure we all feel like crap at this point."

"No but really, you sure you're okay?" I ask her.

She nods then winces, "Actually, come to think of it, I think I may be dying." She takes a bite of her soup. I look down at my own, its thicker than the soup we had at home. Every time a thought of home crosses my mind, my entire body aches as I'm reminded of why I'm really here. I'm here to get my father back.

"Why do you think the fire lord wasn't here today?" I ask them.

Haru shrugs, Ty lee frowns, "I don't know, he must be busy."

I scoff, "With what?"

Ty lee shoots me a glare, "You have to stop that, he's working his ass off fixing up this nation and that's how you're thanking him?"

I roll my eyes and once again glue my mouth shut because I know this argument will lead to nothing. We all get up to go back to our rooms, Ty lee looks behind me, "You coming?"

I nod, "I'll be there in a few minutes."

Haru glances at me and waves bye, but I grab his shoulder, "Can I talk to you?"

He gives me a look but nods, "Yeah, sure, what's up?"

"Outside?" I ask him.

We walk in silence until we're out on the fields that seem so much more peaceful at night. I can still make out Ty Lee's bloodstain in the silence. Come to look at it, there's more than just one bloodstain, there's numerous bloodstains, a couple probably belonging to me. I wonder if they'll ever be able to get it out of the rock flooring.

I turn to face him, "Can you fire bend?"

He seems a bit taken back by the question but he nods, "Yeah, why?"

I cross my arms over my chest, "Show me."

He gives me a look, "Why? Haven't you seen anyone fire bend before?"

No. "Yeah, I have…just not in a while," I say quietly. I give him a little shove, "Please?"

"What do you want me to do?" he asks me.

"I don't know; anything. Just fire bend."

He sighs and takes a few steps away from me, so he's standing a couple of meters away from me. He makes a quick hand motion and a large flame appears in one of his hands, I watch the flame in his hand, miraculously not burning him as he handles it.

He does a kick and fire comes out of his foot and he bends it in all sorts of different ways, his eyes reflect the colours of the fire and I can feel the heat of the flames. He exchanges the flames from one hand to the other and manipulates its shape and I find it beautiful in a strange way.

How can something so destructive like fire be beautiful? All it does is destroy. Water on the other land brings life, nurtures, replenishes. Water is beautiful but the fire in his hands contrasts with the darkness of the night making it possess a type of beauty I've never seen in water.

He looks at me and the flames evaporated into thin air, a part of me is disappointed to see them go, "I'm not that good," He says quietly as he walks towards me. I grab his hands and examine them for burns, "How- how don't you get burned? You're holding the fire."

He shoots me a strange look, "I'm a fire bender. Why would flames hurt me?"

"What if someone's fighting you, would you get hurt?"

"No, because I'm able to manipulate the flames." He replies.

I open my mouth to say something but he shakes his head, "You act like you're not even from the fire nation sometimes, you know that right?"

My insides freeze and I drop his hands, "It was amazing, thanks for showing me," I say in a quiet voice. He looks at me for a moment longer before nodding.

"Night," He says to me and doesn't wait up for me to come with him. I stand outside for a moment longer before pulling myself together. Him saying that doesn't mean he knows. It was just a statement. I need to calm down.

I climb into bed and Ty Lee's already fast asleep. I force my eyes shut because I know I'll be needing tons of sleep and rest for tomorrow.

* * *

**Tell me what you thought! Please leave a review because it really keeps me going! Leave a question, or any criticism you have!**

**What do you think of Zuko?**


	14. Chapter 14

**Enjoy! **

**I'm not sure I mentioned this in the beginning of my story but my story is inspired by the story 'Torn' by the author wintersongs, so you may see some similar themes in my story. She's an amazing author and I absolutely love her story, you guys should go check it out!**

* * *

There's a type of tension the next morning that I'm not used to seeing. Even Kol and his group of obnoxious friends are quiet. Because, just like Haru said, it's a competition. There's no such thing as friends here.

Still, I sit down next to Ty Lee, across from Haru at the table.

"Are you guys nervous?" I ask them.

Haru drags a hand down his face, "Who wouldn't be."

Ty lee groans, "I'm so sore right now, I have no idea how I'm going to do today." I don't blame her for complaining, she doesn't have a chance of doing very well here anyways.

"I'm sure you'll do fine," I say to her quietly.

I look over to Kol who has numerous amounts of scratches and bruises all over his face, I doubt I look any better than him, but it makes me feel better that I'm not the only one going through hell.

We all line up in our respective places, Chan isn't there yet but Fire Lord Zuko is; he's speaking to a soldier. I look away from him, some people have paired off and practiced dueling, but I doubt it'll help with my nerves so I stay put.

If I don't become an elite soldier it'll be almost impossible to kill the Fire Lord. If I don't become an elite soldier, I'll probably end up failing the entire mission. A part of me wonders which outcome would be better.

General Chan walks out of the large doors and jogs down the stairs, he seems excited. He jogs in front of us and claps his hands together loudly; he doesn't have to tell us to get in our line, because we're already standing in proper formation.

"So here is how today is going to go, I have set up an obstacle course testing everything we've learned so far, I have many of my soldiers in that obstacle course that will test you on absolutely everything. If you succeed, you may as well start celebrating because you're most likely an elite soldier,"

"Usually, as you may know, the soldiers that made it out of this obstacle course would become soldiers and then there would be another separate test for those soldiers to determine who would become an elite soldier, but because of the circumstances we are in, everyone is going to become a soldier, but we have made the obstacle course more challenging, so whoever makes it out is most likely an elite soldier."

He paces around us as he speaks, as if to psyche us out, a part of me is thankful that it'll be pretty quick. Like ripping off a bandage. You either make it or you don't.

"Like always, we'll be going in order of your rankings at this moment. The person who is ranked last will be going first, so on and so forth, any questions before we begin?"

I look over at the Fire Lord, he's leaning on the railing and I feel a strange feeling in my throat. His eyes travel over all of us. I wonder what he's thinking. Who's going to be his elite soldier? Is he already making predictions? Will he be watching us?

"Alright then, follow me!" He calls out and we follow him as we walk into a long stretch of the fields none of us have ever been to before. I find it strange to see that the fire lord is following behind us, his soldiers following each step he takes.

It feels odd to be walking in front of him.

It feels like ages until we finally stop walking. It took me 674 steps to get here. A large dome shape is covered with a tarp and we're all standing in front of it. It must be the obstacle course.

"I forgot to mention that you have five minutes to finish the entire course,"

I hear a few murmurs and Ty Lee nudges me and gives me a pathetic look, "I can't do this," She mouths.

"So first up and ranked last is Dao," A small, frail boy walks out and I doubt he'll be able to make it through. I find it sort of funny how open Chan is with where he is ranked, being ranked last isn't exactly something to be proud of.

It makes me wonder where I'm ranked.

There's a special seat for the fire lord, so he can watch the entire obstacle course take place, but he stays standing as Dao enters the dome. I guess Dao isn't good enough to watch for him.

"Your five minutes start…now!" We hear the whoosh of him begin running and then that's it. We're going to have to spend the five minutes waiting around. I can't help wondering what's in the obstacle course. Could it really be all that hard?

The Fire lord speaks to Chan. I can tell how uncomfortable the presence of the fire lord makes Chan, and it makes me glad that he feels so uncomfortable. His entire body tightens up and he clenches his fists. It serves him right. I wonder who's first, I'm guessing Kol, but I could be wrong.

Haru nudges me, "Where do you think you'll be ranked."

I shrug, "I don't know, where do you think you will be ranked?"

He shrugs, "I'm hoping sixth."

I look around, "There's twelve of us."

He nods, "I know, that's why I said I'm _hoping _for sixth."

Ty Lee stretches her legs out, "I'm hoping to make it out of the course alive." She shudders, "Who knows how bad it can be considering Chan made it?"

I nod, she's right.

"No but really," Haru says, "Don't be modest, where do you think you'll be ranked."

I think about it. I'm not on Chan's good side, but then again, I am _not_ near the bottom. Kol is definitely ranked higher than me and the two other guys with the short black hair that are always with Kol. I've seen them duel and they're good. They know what they're doing.

I glance up at him, "Hopefully forth."

There are murmurs and I realize Dao's time ended. He didn't make it out in time. I hold my breath until he finally comes out of the course. It's no secret; he already knows how he did. He walks and sits down on the side of the fields.

"Next up," Chan says, "Zhao!"

It continues until I'm wondering when any of us will hear our name. At sixth, Ty Lee is called. I give her a hopefully encouraging smile and she walks over to the dome and the door shuts behind her. I watch the Fire Lord finally take his respected seat so he can watch the course.

Is he watching for Ty lee? Or is it because this is where the 'good' soldiers start? Or did he just get tired of standing?

So far only one person has made elite; Lee.

I feel a panic inside of me, I turn to Haru, "Don't they only take two soldiers?"

Haru shakes his head, "Usually, but this time, it's whoever makes it through."

I'm waiting, counting down the time in my head. _Come on Ty Lee. _She has exactly one minute left. I wish so desperately I could watch her complete the course. Forty five seconds. I hope she's close to finishing. I hope so badly she'll make it. Thirty seconds. I grab Haru's arm and dig my nails into it hard. Twenty seconds.

"Come on Ty Lee," I whisper under my breath. She's still injured badly, but I know she can do this. "Come on," I say louder.

Ten seconds, she's still not out. I hold my breath. Five seconds left and she throws herself out of the other side of the dome. I can't help it. I scream and clap loudly. Ty Lee glances at me, her cheek is scraped badly, but other than that, she's fine. She smiles at me and then collapses on the seat next to the other soldiers.

"You know what this means?" Haru whispers.

"What?"

"I'm not sixth." He smiles.

I roll my eyes.

"Haru!" Chan calls out loudly.

I smile, "Fifth."

Haru squeezes my shoulder, "Wish me luck."

"Good luck," I whisper as he leaves.

I stand alone for the five minutes. I know Haru can make it. If Ty Lee, injured badly could make it, then so can he. I count down the seconds in my mind. He makes it out with ten seconds to spare. I smile at him from the other side and he holds up a thumb up.

I take a deep breath, I must be next. Fourth. I know I'm fourth.

"Next up, Tao!" One of the guys with short black hair walk up to the dome. Okay, so I'm third. Excitement pulses through me. I beat this guy; surely I can beat the course. But as his five minutes pass, he doesn't appear out from the other end. He comes out about half a minute later, his face ashen. And I wonder how bad it would feel for someone like him, who's been working his entire life at this, and still doesn't make it.

"Fuji!" The other guy with short black hair walks up to the dome. I glance nervously at Kol, the palms of my hands sweating. He keeps switching his weight from his left foot to his right foot. He's nervous, just like me.

Fuji makes it through.

I hold my breath, hoping, if it's possible that I get ranked first. Maybe it's just a rank but it's a rank better than Kol's. _Please. _

"Next up," He yells, "Katara!"

I try not to look disappointed and I try to forget the smirk of Kol's face after realizing he's ranked first. My heart is pounding so hard, my chest aches. I walk into the dome to see a clear course set up for me to go through. I look around quickly. There are about four guards in total, each in different places, the rest is all physical.

"Your time starts…now!"

I'm sprinting into the first obstacle; spinning wooden poles with extensions are all spinning in a different pattern. I watch them for one second before running through, one spins, the next one stops. And so on. I run through the first obstacle.

A man stands with his arms held up near his head and before I can catch my breath, he's swinging at me. I duck quickly but he swings again, not giving me time to recover. It hits me hard in my stomach and instead of trying to catch my breath, I hold it in. I dodge another swing and swing my feet out from beneath me and kick him hard in his side, next to his ribs. He kicks me and I'm knocked off balance for a brief moment.

I recover almost immediately, and duck another swing. I have to hit his head. I have to get him on the floor. I grab both of his arms and kick him as hard as I can. Over and over again. He kicks at me but he falls to the ground. I waste no time as I kick him in the ribs. He groans and I wonder how he's been able to get beaten up multiple times. Maybe there's shifts or something.

I punch him hard in the head until he stops fighting. I run past him and a large wall stands in front of me, I can't run around it, there's only one way and its up. I wedge my foot in a small imperfection in the wall and squint and search for more grooves to climb up. I force myself to hurry up and my arms burn as if they're on fire. I finally climb to the top and don't bother to climb down all the way.

I jump down halfway and my ankles burn from the impact, but I continue running. I wish I knew how much time I had left. Two men stand in front of me, standing in full armour. I inhale sharply as a large boot comes towards my face. I duck just in time. I feel a sharp pain in my back as something hits me. My vision goes blurry for a brief moment.

I block a few more swings before shoving them both hard and kicking them in the side. I don't have time. I punch them as hard as I can, slamming their heads into each other. I punch them and ignore the pain as I feel a cracking sound in my knuckles. I'm not sure how much more punching my hands can take. One of them punches my jaw and I groan loudly.

I use my arms and legs and focus my weight on them instead of in my knees and elbows. I kick harder, with more power, knocking one of them flat on the ground. I punch one of them in their nose until his blood covers my left hand. I grab both of his shoulders and bring my knee up and kick him as hard as I can in his stomach. He flies back a few feet before landing heavily on the ground. I sprint away from the damage I've left.

Swinging thicker than me steel rods swing back and forth in front of me. They are heavy and thick enough to crush me if I step in at the wrong time. But it's impossible with the speed they're going at to be able to step through them. I hold my hand flush against one of them as it swings. I shove it as hard as I can, my hands pressed flat against the steel. It moves, ever so slightly. I roll the sleeves of my suit up and hold my breath.

I jump in between the first pair of swinging rods and hold my hands out. They press against my hands with such speed and power; I can almost feel my arms being shoved into my sockets. I grit my teeth from the pain but hold it apart long enough as the other pair of steel rods open up. I repeat my action over and over again until I'm sure the bones in my arms are shattered, but finally, finally I make it out.

I step out and suddenly I don't even have time to blink before I'm thrown against a wall.

My back, I think. Something is wrong with my back. The pain is so excruciating that I can't help but wonder if it's broken. I'm dizzy and I feel slow; my head is spinning and there's a strange ringing in my ears.

I clamber to my feet, somehow.

I'm hit, again, so hard. And I don't even know where the pain is coming from. I can't blink fast enough, can't steady my head long enough to shake the confusion. Everything is tilting sideways. I'm trying so hard to shake it off. I'm stronger than this. I know I am.

I try to get to my feet but I fall to the ground, my legs can't support my weight suddenly and someone is walking towards me. Everything in my vision is slanted and spreading. I can't wrap my mind around what is hitting me. Who is hitting me.

And for some obscure reason the only though that crosses my mind is that the Fire Lord is watching, he _must_ be watching.

I can't fight back, I realize as someone punches me in the face, I'm pretty sure my nose is bleeding. But this is pain I've never felt before and I wonder how I'm not dead yet. His blows are so powerful and my energy is completely drained and I'm not sure I can even try and block one of his punches.

If I die now, my father will die too.

Maybe its nothing but to me its something and there's new strength bubbling inside of me, feeding off of something other than my physical energy. This strength is forming from a new, desperate animal intensity that overpowers me and forces me upright.

I manage to stand through the face of each impact, each blow rattles my brain and every feature on my face. And I hold up a hand and the blow hits me somewhere other than my face, it hits my hand. And time, I have a time limit; I'm not going to make it. I'm not going to beat this man. I hold up another hand but he swings around and punches me once again.

I ignore the pain, I shut it out in a part of my mind that I will never revisit again. I'm more powerful than this. I know I am. I reach forward, as if through a cloud, and clench my fist around his neck. I squeeze, I squeeze until I feel his body grow limp. I release my arms and let him drop to the ground.

I am sprinting and then suddenly there's fresh air and I'm outside, and I'm on the ground and I can't catch my breath. But I made it. I have no idea if I even made the time limit, but I survived. The pain is still pulsating through my body, every single part of me seems broken, but I made it.

That's when I hear, the slow clapping, coming from one person, maybe two. I force myself to get up on my knees and I squint and see Ty Lee running towards me, she tackles me in a hug and I groan, "Everything hurts, please, don't-"

She gets off and Haru pulls me up to my feet.

"I didn't make the time limit," Before I know it, the words are spilling out of me, "I- I tried but, the last obstacle- how did you-"

Haru shakes his head, "You beat all of us Katara. With an entire minute and a half to spare." I wonder if I'm hearing correctly. But still, I allow the relief to flood through every single part of me, starting from my head all the way down to my toes.

_A minute and a half to spare. _

"Good job Colonial. You've really outdone yourself." General Chan is actually smiling, his spare lips turn upwards in a uncomfortable curl as if the action of smiling is unknown to him. He actually complemented me.

_A minute and a half to spare. _

"I think you set a record," Ty Lee says to me excitedly, she wraps her arms around both me and Haru, softer this time, "But we made it, I can't believe this."

"That was amazing!" I hear someone yell, when I turn around, to my surprise, its Lee, "Great job!" He says to me. He claps me on the back harder then he should've considering I'm still debating whether its broken or not. I smile through the pain. A few of Kol's friends congratulate me.

I smile wider than I've smiled in days, weeks, even months.

Five minutes later, Kol walks out; he made it with about thirty seconds to spare. I really did set a record. For once, the pain I'm in doesn't bother me. It becomes the background noise as my happiness overflows through my body. Kol seems deflated even though he should be happy he even made it, but he knows I beat him. And nothing makes this moment more satisfying.

He meets my eyes and I force myself to take a step away from him. His eyes are filled with anger, directed all towards me. I turn away from him.

"Great job," His voice makes me freeze and I feel my insides tighten, "I've been watching this obstacle course since I was young and I've never seen anyone complete it as fast as you."

I force myself to turn around and he's right in front of me, his smile small and his eyes golden eyes soft and focused only on me. I try to find something to say to the fire lord himself, but I can't string words together, "Thank you," I finally say stiffly, not wanting to thank him but not knowing what to say instead.

His eyes linger on me for a moment before he turns away and looks around us all, "Congratulations to all of you, you have the rest of the day off and tomorrow we will go over all your assignments."

I hear a few cheers and I watch as General Chan starts speaking to him. The Fire Lord stands regally and nods in response. When he smiles, the corner of his eyes wrinkle slightly, making him look more youthful than royal. Maybe that's why he rarely smiles.

"Katara! Come on!"

I tear my eyes away from him and force my legs to jog up to where Ty lee and Haru are walking back inside. My legs ache and I limp slightly. Haru wraps an arm around my waist, "You really seem to have gotten bashed up in there."

I nod, "Tell me about it, the last obstacle," I breathe, "I think my backs broken."

* * *

**Thanks for reading, I hope you guys are enjoying the story so far. I know its not really Zutara yet, but I promise it will be soon. I just really want to build up the characters and everything. I got a few people asking if there could be like a chapter just on Zuko, I really would like to do one, but I can't because its written in first person and I can't change that, so I guess you'll have to find out about Zuko as Katara finds out about him!**

**What did you guys think of the obstacle course? **

**Any future predictions? **


	15. Chapter 15

**Enjoy!**

* * *

We spend the rest of the day doing absolutely nothing and I've never been more relaxed in my entire life. As the sky darkens, both Haru and Ty Lee look absolutely exhausted, but I'm wide awake.

"I think I'm calling it a night," Haru says as he stands up. Ty Lee yawns and stretches out her legs, "Yeah me too, Katara you coming?"

I look around, "I'll be there in a while, don't wait up for me."

"Okay good night," I watch as both Haru and Ty Lee walk off. I watch them until the sound of their footsteps disappear.

Soon everyone begins to leave and I watch as Kol gets up, his face is stiff, but he doesn't turn the way to the dorms. I get up slowly, ignoring the throbbing in my back, and watch him leave out through the back door to the fields. _Where is he going?_

I walk slowly and watch through the glass on the door, he walks out onto the fields and continues walking, he turns and he's out of my sightline.

I find my legs moving on their own and I'm following him, its too dark to see much but I can faintly make out his figure, large, lean and powerful. He walks close to the walls of the palace and I press my back against the wall as he turns. I follow his steps and I wonder if he knows where he's going because I certainly don't.

He turns into a corner that seems to be a dead end and I narrow my eyes and slowly follow him, he pauses but doesn't turn around. I know I shouldn't be coming any closer because he'll turn around soon, but I take a few more steps to try and see what he's doing. When I get closer, I see he's doing nothing at all. He stands and with the faint light of the moon, I can see him roll his shoulders back, as if relieving stress.

He takes a slow, deep breath and his head snaps in my direction. I gasp and stumble backwards. My heart pounds in my chest as his eyes focus on me, as if he's unsure I'm actually there. I try to scramble to my feet, because maybe if I run now he'll think he just was seeing things, he might not be able to catch up. He begins walking to me but he's close enough to take one step and grab my arm. In two seconds flat he has me left with nowhere to go.

His grip encircles my arm, so tightly, the bone in my arm aches.

"Let me go," I say through clenched teeth.

He glares at me and his stare is wild and venomous at the same time and my throat begins to close up, "What the hell do you think you're doing colonial?" His voice is called but filled with animal like resistance.

His grip tightens on my arm and I bite down on my tongue to hold in my scream, "Let me go!" I yell at him and try to pull my arm out from his grip; it just results in him giving my arm a twist causing a sharp pain to shoot through my arm like a beat of electricity. I try to raise my leg to kick him, but he shoves me hard against the wall, my back slams against the wall and I wheeze.

He takes a step close to me and in the darkness his eyes look incandescent, hungry, unforgiving. He's so close to me, a couple of centimeters away from me, he brings his face closer to me so I can't look at anything but him, "Who do you think you are?" He says through his teeth.

Fear runs through me and I struggle but his grip tightens around me and he only seems to be coming closer. My heart is pounding so hard, my chest aches. I let out a gasp as he crushes my foot beneath his and digs his heel into it, "Don't- touch me-" I gasp in a voice that seems distant.

His teeth are clenched so tightly, his jaw set so firmly, "Make me." Those two words make me feel like sinking into the ground. I wish the ground would swallow me whole. I'm cornered in the middle of the night. He could kill me right now and I doubt he'd be one to think against it. He could do a_nything _to me. I can see the pent up anger rolling off of him.

"You think you can just show up, set a record and become an elite soldier?" His voice is so low, so quiet. Quiet is terrifying with Kol. And I'm terrified at the fact that I'm terrified. That a person could scare me so much.

His face is so close to me, if either of us moved our noses would touch. I'm pressing myself as hard as I can to the wall, hoping to create some distance, my arm is throbbing and he's holding my foot down and there's bile rising in my throat and I struggle to keep it down as the feel of disgust rolls through me from his nearness. He's step on my other foot so I'm completely helpless and I'm having trouble breathing. He's going to kill me. He is going to kill me.

"You're worthless, colonial scum. You don't even belong here. You and the rest of your family deserve to live in the hell you live in," he shakes his head, "You made a mistake showing up here." His eyes flash with intensity, "What's your secret?" He says, increasing the pressure on my arm.

My heart throbs with some form of desperateness.

He shakes my arm, rattles its bone, "What's your secret? No colonial I know is able to fight like you."

And I wonder- I wonder if its possible that he can look straight through my eyes and find out who I really am. Look at my blue eyes and identify I'm not even from the fire nation, I'm not from the colonies. A new type or fear takes hold of me.

My lungs ache but the thought of pleading with Kol makes me think dying would be better. The throb in my back spreads across my entire spine and my eyes sting.

"I could just kill you right now," He whispers, his eyebrows twitch and I wonder if he's actually clinically insane, "It won't be hard for me," He's breathing heavily and his chest skims against mine each time he breathes. I try to lower myself to a crouching position, but I can't move. My arm feels like its cracking and he increases the pressure until I hear a crack.

"Let me go," My voice is so weak, vulnerable and that's what he wants from me. To be weak and vulnerable. I wonder if he _would _let go if I pleaded. I wonder if he'd let me go if I begged him, if I told him I'd leave and never return. My voice is hoarse and clogged up with emotion because I've never been this scared in my entire life, "Please- Let me go." My voice comes out as a croak.

In his eyes, all I see is sheer hatred. Pure hatred. A hatred that I've never seen before- and its all directed towards me.

He squeezes my arm again and I let out a scream, I'm pretty sure he just shattered my bone to pieces. My arm throbs and my entire body hurts. I feel my vision spot in a series of different colours. My vision turns blurry and I'm not sure if I have tears in my eyes. And for a moment I hear someone yell and its not me. I wonder if I'm hearing things, but I hear thumps, kicks, groans.

I blink a few times, then a few more to try and see something that is happening, I can't see Kol. A pair of golden eyes come into my view in the darkness, a face contorted in anger. I shut my eyes when I feel an arm wrap around my shoulder, its strong but gentle and he pulls me against his chest and I take in a deep uneven breath, trying to get any amount of air into my lungs.

We're walking, away from wherever we were. The silence between us seems to drag on and my face is burning and my arm is still screeching from the pain, but I keep my eyes shut as we continue walking. We finally stop and I feel his hands, warm with long fingers hold my shoulders, the tips of his fingers touching my shoulder blades.

"Are you okay?" His voice is low, concentrated on only me.

I slowly open my eyes and his face comes into view, his strong jawline and straight nose. His scar seems accentuated in the darkness but his eyes glow in the darkness. His eyes are lowered with his long eyelashes shielding them. I want to run as far away as I can. I want to collapse into my cot and scream into the sheets until the air in my lungs dry, but I can't move.

I don't want to thank him. I don't want to acknowledge that the fire lord helped me. Maybe it's selfish, maybe it's just pride. I swallow and my body trembles slightly, I look past him instead of at him, "I'm fine." I say in a quiet voice that trembles.

I wish he would let go of my shoulders.

I hope he doesn't ask me why I was out there in the first place.

His eyes examine me, as if searching for any place where Kol might have harmed me. I clench my teeth when one of his hands touches my arm so softly, his eyes flick back to meet mine, "I'll get a nurse to help you. Are you hurt anywhere else?" I wonder if he's concerned. I hope to God he isn't. I wonder how he knows it's my arm that hurts. I wonder what he did to Kol. I wonder if Kol knew it was the fire lord that caught him.

I wonder how long he was watching me struggle until he stepped in.

Maybe I shouldn't be feeling it, but all I feel is embarrassment, from head to toe as if it's one large blush that spreads all over my body. What I should be feeling is relief, gratitude, anything but embarrassment. I shake my head quickly and his eyebrows lower and he watches me for a moment longer before releasing my shoulders and straightening up, "Can you get to your room on your own?" The question sounds demeaning, but his voice is considerate. As if he's genuinely concerned.

I nod and continue to look past him until he takes a step away from me, he nods, "I'll get a nurse to your room."

The words of gratitude linger on my tongue and grow stale as I try to find how to say them. Instead, I turn around and try to steady my steps as I walk up the short set of stairs. Each step I take feels too time consuming, too slow. Only when the doors shut behind me do I begin running. I sprint into the room and don't bother being quiet as I open the door and climb into my cot. I pull the sheets over my head, trying to cover every part of me, trying to remove my existence.

I squeeze my eyes shut as Kol's face, so close to mine, comes into my view. A tremble runs down my body and I bunch up my sheets and stuff them in my mouth as a scream escapes me. It terrifies me knowing how scared I was- how scared I am. I don't want to be afraid of Kol. I don't want to be afraid of anything. I wish I could wipe my memory of Kol, of the fire lord. Of this entire night.

When I finally calm down, I lay flat on my stomach because laying on my back would be far too painful. There's a soft knock on the door and I wish I could get up and open it, but my legs feel like jelly. The door opens on its own and an old nurse walks in. I hear Ty Lee sit up in her bed as I climb down the bunk.

I sit down on the ledge of the window and the nurse sits beside me. I'm glad she doesn't ask questions. I'm glad she just does her job because I can't trust myself with my voice. She gently wraps my arm up and helps me with my cast. She gives me brief instructions to rest it and then leaves.

Ty Lee stares at me, her eyes tired but still alert. We're both quiet for a long time, "Do you want to talk about it?" She finally asks me.

I shake my head quickly.

She gives me a concerned look before staring down at the ground. I turn so my back is facing her. I gather my knees and wrap my arms around them and place my head on my knees. I squeeze my eyes shut as hard as I can. I hear Ty Lee lie back down but I don't move from my position until the early hours of the morning.

I climb into bed feeling nothing at all.

Ty Lee's shaking me awake no less than an hour later, "It's time to get up," She says softly, as if remembering last night, then again, how could she forget?

I get up and walk into the washroom. Every morning, I walk past the mirror, not spending too much time looking at my reflection, but today I look at the Katara that stares back at me. Her bottom lip has a cut in it. The bottom of her left eye is bruised slightly. The left side of her jaw is red and swelled. Her eyes that once used to be a bright blue seem dimmer, as if they've settled down. She seems older. Mature.

I pull my clothes off to step into the shower and take the time to notice the long lines of bruises on my sides, beside my ribs. The purple spotting all over my legs. There's a large cut in my collarbone. I wash myself off and step out of the shower. I examine my bruises in the mirror; my back is bruised the worst, blackish brown in some places like near the center and spreading to a purplish pink colour near my shoulders. There's a rainbow of shades on my back.

I blink hard as the feeling of being slammed against the wall of the palace makes me shudder.

It takes me longer than usual to change because of the cast, when I change and finally come out of the washroom; Ty lee's holding my boots. Every step I take aches more than it's ever ached. I bend down to lace them up but she holds a hand out, "Let me." She crouches down and laces up my boots.

A feel of guilt hits me again, when Ty lee was hurt, I did absolutely nothing to help her, "Thank you," I say when she's done. She smiles in response and I follow her out into the dining hall for breakfast.

"The elite soldiers have a day off today, perks of being elite I guess. We have training twice every week, but that's it. Other than that, only when the fire lord calls upon us, we have stuff to do. Oh- I forgot to mention that we're moving to another part of the palace, isn't that exciting?" She rambles on and I'm glad she's filling in the silence that lingers between us.

Kol isn't in the dining hall and I wonder again how bad Fire Lord Zuko hurt him- or what he did to him.

I grab a tray and see that Haru's already at our table, he glances at my cast, "What happened to you?" I sit down across from him and ignore Ty Lee's questioning stare as I answer, "I hurt it yesterday during the obstacle course, I just didn't know until it started hurting badly."

He frowns, "That sucks."

I nod and eat my food in silence as Haru and Ty Lee talk casually, but I know Ty Lee will be questioning me later on about what happened. I'm just not sure I'll be able to tell the truth.

My eyes sting from the tiredness and I wonder if I'll be able to catch up on my sleep. Ty Lee nudges me, "We'll be moving into the actual palace, where the rest of the elite soldiers are. Even the other soldiers are moving somewhere else, this place is just for training. People come in every season to become soldiers."

"When?" I ask her, "When will we be moving?"

"After breakfast, the maids will come and gather up all of our stuff and will escort each of us to our own room."

I want to ask her how she knows all this, but maybe it's just another 'you-should-already-know-this-since-you're-fire nation' thing, so I keep my mouth shut and just nod in response to her words.

I don't want to even think about last night, but my mind constantly drifts back to what happened. The fear that paralyzed my entire body, the relief that flooded through me when the Fire Lord showed up, the embarrassment I felt, the concern in his eyes. It was something I never imagined to see in someone who was carrying a war. Why would one dead person matter to him when he was killing thousands more?

Oh yeah, it's because I'm _his _soldier. I work for him now.

"What are you thinking about?" Haru asks me.

I shake my head, "Nothing."

I get up and put my tray away, "Do we have to help with moving?" I ask Ty lee.

She shakes her head, "By the afternoon we can go straight to our rooms, we just have to stay in the fields, or the elite soldiers at least. I don't know what the other soldiers are doing."

"I think they have training," Haru says. My attention diverts as I see Lee walking up behind Haru, he smiles at me and waves, he grabs a seat and sits down next to me, Ty Lee and Haru give me a strange look but I smile at him.

"So me and some of the other guys are going out for a while, wanna come?"

I should be finding it strange as to why Lee's even asking me, but now I'm one of them. I've proved myself. A beat of excitement flutters in my stomach, "Sure, where are you going?"

He laughs it off, "You'll find out when we get there."

I glance at Ty Lee and Haru who suddenly look uncomfortable, I clear my throat and Lee glances back at them, as if just realizing they were there, "Uh you guys can come too- if you want."

I look at them and maybe I shouldn't be looking at them for approval, but I can't help it. Haru shrugs and shakes his head, "I think we'll just hang around here," He looks at me, "It's fine."

I wonder if it's actually fine, but I ignore whatever repercussions I have about going and smile at Lee, "Let's go." I'd like to actually have some fun for once.

"Great-" He glances down at my arm, "You sure you're okay?"

I nod and wave him off and get up, "Let's go, I'm fine." I wave at Ty Lee and Haru and they smile back but I can tell its forced. I still can't help feeling excited that I'm actually being included. I know I shouldn't be, they're all my enemies- even Ty lee and Haru, but for once I push away the thoughts and restraints that have been holding me back ever since I arrived here.

* * *

**So what did you guys think? I think this was one of my favourite chapters to write so far. Please tell me what you thought! I love hearing any kind of feedback so please leave a review telling me what you thought. **

**What did you guys think about Kol in this chapter? **

**Thanks for reading **


	16. Chapter 16

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Lee and I walk out onto the fields and some of his friends are standing in a small group. All of who made elite. There's three of them in total, including Lee, not including Kol.

When they see me, they smile and wave, "Look who it is, the record setter." I hear Fuji say. The other guy has black hair tied back into a ponytail; "What's the colonial doing here?" I feel my insides writhe until I see he's joking, he winks and smiles at me, "I'm Gen." I never realized how friendly they could be.

"So we have the entire day to get our job done, I doubt anyone will notice we're gone unless we don't get back by the afternoon." Lee says, its clear that after Kol he's the leader in this group. I don't ask Lee again where we're going because its clear he's the only one who knows what's going on.

"When we get out of the palace walls, we can steal a cart from the nearest transport market and then we'll get the job done. You guys ready to run?"

And within a few moments, we're sprinting near the walls of the palace, covered by the shielded platforms of the palace; I doubt anyone could catch us. My chest burns from the sprinting but it makes me feel alive. I pull my hair out of its band as I run and let it flow behind me. Lee holds up a hand and we all come to an abrupt stop. He presses himself against a wall and motions for us to copy his movements. I wedge myself in the small space left in the wall as the others press around me.

"What is it?" I hear Gen whisper.

Lee shakes his head and motions for us to follow him again. I run on the tips of my toes to make minimal sound. I notice the sun is being blocked out by the clouds making it seem like its evening time. We run across the fields that seem to stretch out alongside the palace walls.

"We're gonna have to sneak into one of the transport carts leaving the palace walls." Lee calls back to us, "Two per cart and I'm sure we can make it without being noticed."

When we near the walls, I finally understand what he's talking about. There's numerous transport carts covered with tarps, carried by horses, being brought in and out of the palace. I guess the Fire Lord doesn't have to do his own grocery shopping. We all stop and lean in a small corner; I seem to be the only one catching my breath.

"You doing okay?" Fuji asks me, nudging me, his eyes travel over my cast.

I nod and narrow my eyes at the carts, theirs soldiers surrounding all of them, checking them and then letting them leave, even on the way out the carts are checked, "How are we going to do this?"

Lee puffs out a breath, "We all go to the storage room and climb aboard one of the leaving carts when I say so."

"B-but-"

"What little faith you have in me princess," He says to me. I've been talking to him for about an hour flat and he's already nicknamed me. I'm not sure how I'm supposed to respond to that. He turns back and looks at the carts.

"There's soldiers everywhere," I say to him. He turns to me and smirks. I give him a look, "What?"

He shrugs, "Nothing, you're just such a colonial."

I roll my eyes and he motions us to move with a flick of his wrist, we run crouched, behind the series of carts coming in. My heart pounds hard but I follow close behind Lee, he's faster than I could have thought. He wedges himself between the small openings in the storage room. It's pitch black and I squint to make out a series of empty carts.

He starts climbing in to one of them, "I'll go with Katara, you two get your own cart." He holds out his hand to help me climb in and I cross my arms over my chest, "It's not going to work."

The other two look at me and Lee lowers his eyebrows, "And why's that?"

"They check the carts on the way out."

They all stand frozen for a moment before Lee slowly climbs out, "Oh." He says, he looks at the other two, "I guess its mission abort then."

I laugh and crouch down and squint to look underneath the carts. There's wooden lodging all across the bottom. I stand back up, "We can hold on from the bottom, until we're out at least, then we can climb back in from the back."

"Are you sure-" Fuji starts but Lee shakes his head, "We don't have time, they'll be here in a few minutes." He gives me a look, "Let's hope colonials are smart."

The other two move over to get under the cart in front of ours, Lee looks down at my arm, "You sure you can do this."

I give him a shove, "We don't have time."

He goes in first, I hear him grunt as he clings on to one of the wooden railings on the bottom of the cart, the wheels of the cart are big enough so he's not being dragged across the ground, "Climb in princess, there's tons of room."

I watch as Fuji and Gen climb under their cart. I lower myself to the ground and grab one of the bars with my uninjured arm and pull myself up, Lee's face is directly beside mine and he's smirking, "Well isn't this cozy?"

I wedge my feet on the bars at the other end of the cart because I'm not sure I'll be able to hold on with just one arm.

"This is almost as bad as the obstacle course!" I hear Gen call out in a tight voice.

My arm burns and I wonder if its even possible for any of us to hang on long enough, especially me.

"Do you think we could take a resting break until they com-" Lee starts but is cut off by the sounds of the door opening. I hold my breath as a horse is hitched onto the cart. My hand is already getting sweaty and I'm having trouble holding on. Lee takes a deep breath, "Ah, this is bad."

The cart begins moving with a jerk and I hold onto the railing as hard as I can.

"This is worse- this is definitely worse," He says.

"Shut up," I hiss. I try to forget the burning in my arm and think of something else but Lee's right- this is bad. We're travelling downhill, my hand slips and a gasp escapes my lips, I grab onto the bar again and hook my uninjured arm around the railing. I tuck my casted arm under the railing. Lee glances at me and copies my motion, he nods, "This is better, I could get used to this-"

The cart bumps and both of our heads slam hard against the cart, Lee groans, "Too soon."

I squeeze my eyes shut as the cart jerks to a halt; I hear the voices of the soldiers but can't make out what they're saying, I hear the tarp of the cart being lifted and then closed. I hold my breath until the cart starts moving. We stay under the cart until we're well away from the palace gates.

Lee moves first, pushing himself out from under the cart, breathing heavily as he climbs up and pulls open the tarp at the back of the cart. He takes a deep breath then hauls himself up into the cart. A few seconds pass and then his head pops out and he holds out a hand, "Come on princess."

I climb my way towards him and my entire body burns. I grab his arm hard and he pulls me up and I collapse in the cart. I catch my breath as he closes the tarp opening.

"You know for a princess, you're heavy."

I smooth my hair back, "Why do you call me that?"

He shrugs and peeks out the tarp and then laughs, "They're climbing out." I get up on my knees and peek through the tarp and watch as they both struggle to get up into the cart. He turns to look at me, "You know you're pretty smart for a colonial and all."

"Why are we supposed to be stupid?"

He shakes his head, "Not stupid, just a little uneducated."

I laugh despite the insult. Although its not really insulted considering I'm not even from the colonies. It's funny in an ironic kind of way. I lean back in the cart and wince slightly as I press my back against the cart, "So are you going to tell me where we're going?"

He settles beside me and takes off his boot. I scrunch up my nose as an unbearable odour fills the cart. Lee smiles wickedly, "Don't you worry your pretty little head about it princess, I change my socks daily."

I hold my nose, "What are you doing."

I watch as he picks at the lining of his boots, his rips a small portion off and hands me a small round ball that seems to be the generator of the odour, "Stink bombs." He says and pulls another one out, "I'm loaded."

"Are you going to tell me why you have stink bombs before or after I pass out?"

He smiles crookedly, "A colonial with a sense of humour. Must be my lucky day." He fidgets with his boot a bit more and pulls out two daggers, the length of my forearm, "You know how to use one of these?" He asks me.

I scowl, "Of course I do." He tosses me one and I catch it, its freshly sharpened and looks fairly new. The handle is wrapped in plain black sheath leather.

"We're raiding general Chan's house."

I look up at him, wide eyed.

"That's right, some of my friends on the inside know where he lives," He smirks, "We'll hit that scum bags house real good."

I can't help it, amusement blossoms within me and I laugh, "What if he finds out?"

He holds up his hands, "Nothing goes wrong while I'm there."

"Well how far away is it? When do you know to get off?" I question him.

"I searched up the routes and this first load of carts go to the first district, which is where the general leaves. When this cart stops, we climb off and find our own way around, it's probably another fifteen minutes or so."

I scrunch my nose up and Lee laughs, "Look on the bright side, maybe we'll create a resistance to the stink bombs, they smell a million times worse when you open them, trust me I speak from experience." He pulls his boots back on, "I think my left nostril was impaled the first time I used these things."

I burst out laughing harder than I've laughed in days.

His face grows solemn after a few minutes, "Where did you learn to fight? I mean we've had a few colonials come here in the past, but none of them were nearly as kick ass as you."

I examine the dagger, "My older brother taught me since I was young." Speaking of Sokka in a rhetorical sense still hurts me; I glance up at him, "Have any colonials ever made it to elite?"

He drags his hand across the blade of the dagger, "One or two, I think."

I peek out the tarp, their cart is still following behind.

"How'd you bang up your arm?" He asks me. I don't turn around to face him. I wonder what would happen if I told him what Kol did. I wonder what he would say. _I haven't even told Ty lee. Why would I tell him? _

I turn around to face him, "Nothing really."

"You didn't hurt it at the obstacle course yesterday." He says bluntly.

For some reason, my cheeks burn, "Yeah I did. I only found out later."

His hazel eyes flick up to mine and he half smiles, "Don't lie to me princess."

I sit up on my knees, "What makes you think I'm lying?"

He shrugs.

The truth is, I kind of feel like telling someone. I doubt he'd really even care. But I feel like telling someone what Kol did to me, "It was Kol." I say and I regret the words right as they leave my mouth.

He doesn't look up at me, just traces the blade again, "Thought so."

I narrow my eyes, "What?"

He looks up at me, "He came back in the dorm early in the morning all bashed up and I thought- wait did you beat him up?"

I shake my head slightly, "The…I- I think the fire lord did." I admit.

This catches his attention, "Woah- hold up. What? The fire lord bashed him up?"

And I realize I'm already saying too much but I can't help it, "I- I don't think he knows who it was, it was really dark…I'm not exactly sure what happened."

He looks shocked and he lets out a low whistle.

I straighten up, "What were you saying before? About Kol?"

"Uh- oh yeah, so he came in the dorm like really early in the morning and I asked him what the hell happened to him and he got all mad and started throwing stuff around- I don't really know, I went back to sleep by then," He sits up and touches my cast, "How'd he do that to you? Wait why'd he even- I'm so confused right now."

I shrug, "I saw him going out to the fields, so I followed him and he caught me watching him-" My throat grows dry as I remember last night, talking about it replays the scenes in my mind, "He grabbed my arm and shoved me against the wall."

Lee's watching intently, his eyebrows furrowed, and I can't shut my mouth

"He started like yelling at me and telling me I should just go back to the colonies, and he like broke my arm and that's when he was pulled off of me-" I stop talking, not wanting to mention my conversation with the fire lord.

Lee blinks hard, as if to make sure he's listening right, "Damn princess." He touches the handle of his dagger, "That's…I don't really know what to say." He stretches out his legs, "What happened after?"

I shake my head, "Nothing."

"The Fire lord didn't say anything to you?"

I shake my head, a lump forming in my throat, "Wouldn't he- I don't know- banish Kol or something?"

Lee looks at me then laughs, "You can't just banish someone for no reason."

I give him a look, "He almost killed me."

"He broke your arm- I know it sounds bad, but the fire lord can't just go around banishing people because they're not getting along," He gets up and pulls the tarp aside slightly, "We have to get out now, you ready to jump."

"It's still moving," I say in disbelief, the cart was moving pretty fast, fast enough to break another bone in my body if I jumped off.

He smiles and holds out a hand, "I'll escort you princess."

I look down at his hand and reluctantly take it as we both stand. I find it strange how I've already trusted him with so much. We stand, crouched, on our feet at the ledge of the cart.

"Ready-" He jumps off, "Go!"

I jump off half a second after him and land rather ungracefully on the ground; I groan as my arm slides against the stone ground, I roll to the side until I finally catch myself. I stand up slowly, Lee's already up and brushing himself off. It's probably not the first time he's done this.

He glances at the cart and the other two are just jumping off, he laughs hard as Fuji lands right on top of Gen. It looks more painful than funny, but I laugh too as they struggle to get back up. I watch the carts leave; there are no carts behind us, only more in front of us so no one important must have noticed.

I look around; first district must be the wealthiest district. Every house is large and built wider than I've seen other houses. The trees are evenly trimmed and placed in specific areas, large shops and stores are located in the distance.

"Alright everyone, follow me!" He takes off in a sprint and Fuji, Gen and me all run behind him straight into what looks like a high class neighbourhood. I wonder if I should have told him about Kol and what happened last night. I wonder if I should have trusted him.

But is the information that crucial anyways?

"The third house form the end of this road is his, looks like the largest house," Lee calls back.

I look over to Gen and Fuji, "How does he know Chan doesn't have guards or like someone else in the house?"

Fuji laughs, "I guess we'll find out." Gen laughs in response.

I find it confusing how careless they can be, it's a type of carelessness that I've always wanted to experience but knew I would never fit into it. Maybe I was wrong- I could be like them if I tried, but do I really want to go that far to carry out this mission? Because that's why I'm here. To murder the fire lord, not to make friends and go raid people's houses.

I push the thoughts out of my mind for what seems like the millionth time.

"This is it!" Lee calls back. I force myself to run faster to catch up to him. We stand outside a large home with a neatly trimmed yard and a large gate, there has to be guards here.

"How are we going to get in? There has to be like ten guards guarding the entrance only."

He shakes his head, "The guards come at one time a day because right now he's staying at the palace for training. He'll be back probably tomorrow, but while he's gone, the guards check up on this place once a day and that's once in the morning."

I look at him, "So no one's guarding the gates?"

He nods, "There are probably a couple soldiers at the gates but that's why we're taking the back entrance."

He leads us around the large home until we're at the back gates, "We're going to have to climb over." The gates are tall but nothing compared to the wall in the obstacle course. We silently follow Lee as he climbs over the gate; he steadies me as I jump down. The others follow behind us.

His back yard has an enormous garden, so well maintained I find it hard to believe his soldiers only come here once a day. We sneak through the backyard, keeping to the walls of the house. We reach the back door and we all stop.

Lee holds out his hand, "Katara- daggers."

I hand him the daggers he gave me earlier and watch as he carefully carves through the glass door, a large rectangle, big enough for all of us to fit through, he catches the glass before it falls to the ground and holds it as he climbs in. We all follow behind him.

"Ready?" He says. He drops the glass and it shatters to pieces all over the floor of a large kitchen, "Do whatever damage you can do, we'll meet back here in half an hour." He looks at me, "You can come with me princess, I'll show you how its done." He looks at Gen and Fuji, "you have the stink bombs?"

They reveal the round shaped bombs and Lee nods, satisfied, "Alright lets go!"

I follow him as he runs up the long set of stairs, "First stop, Chan's bedroom. I doubt he's married- who'd marry him anyways-he probably has the largest room to himself." We open doors with our feet until we find the largest room.

Lee kicks open the door as hard as he can and the wood its attached to cracks and falls off, he walks in and knocks down random stuff, the sound of glass shattering to the ground fills my ears and I smile, "You gonna do something other than stand around princess?"

I grab a large lamp and kick it down, breaking it in half. I can't help it- it feels good. I walk into his washroom and rip of the expensive curtains next to the shower. I knock down an enormous vase and stand back as glass pieces shatter all around me, "Katara, you better get out of there quickly."

Before I know it, he grabs my arm and we both sprint out the room and he shuts whatever that's left of the doors and we sprint across the long hall as we hear a loud crack of the stink bomb going off.

We run around the entire top portion of his home, ruining everything expensive in our sight, we smash, crack and destroy practically everything we see. Lee and I separate and I walk into a large library and grab a large shelf that holds hundreds of books. I stand to the side as I hook my fingers around the ledge. I pull hard.

"What do you think you're doing?"

I gasp and watch in horror as the bookshelf smashed to the ground in slow motion. A soldier stands with his sword pointed directly at me. My heart beats hard in my chest. I'm feeling for a dagger, panic erupts within me as I realize I gave them both to Lee.

The soldier reaches for me and I duck hard and try to get past him, he kicks me hard in my side, "Freeze!" He roars. I grunt as his foot rests over my back and presses down. I try to find something- any sort of weapon. I can't fight him; he has a sword pointed directly at the back of my neck.

I grab his ankles with hands and try and make him fall, or lose balance but he stabs the sword into the back of my neck, not hard enough to kill me, but hard enough to make me gasp and feel the cold stream of blood.

I squeeze my eyes shut hard.

Suddenly I hear a loud grunt and someone's pulling me up off the ground, "Time to go princess." I hear Lee mutter against my ear. He practically carries me down the stairs and through the back door. I'm gasping for air by the time we're out.

He glances at me, "You okay?"

I nod, "Did you- kill him?"

He shakes his head but his face is strained, "He'll be fine, but it's a waste of my dagger."

I catch my breath, "The others?"

He nods and taps his foot, "We have to start running soon if they don't come out." He's definitely stressed out, his fists are clenched and his jaw is tight and he's breathing almost as heavily as I am. I touch the back of my neck and wince; he looks at me and bites his thumbnail.

He opens his mouth to say something when the other two come sprinting down the hall, they jump right out of the backdoor and before I know it, we're sprinting as hard as we can. My heart pounds against my chest with each step I take, but we can't stop now.

We sprint all the way until Lee leads us into another cart loading area. I have no idea how he knows his way around here so well, maybe he lived here? Lee glances at Gen and Fuji, "Are you guys okay?"

They nod but seem just as out of breath as I am.

He touches the back of his neck, "I didn't think they'd be there- they're not supposed to be there."

"It doesn't matter," I say, "At least we got our job done."

He nods, "Let's just hope they don't somehow recognize one of us."

Me and Lee climb into the back of one of the carts and Gen and Fuji get in the one behind ours. The carts are already loaded with boxed items. I sit down on one of the boxes.

"How's your neck?"

I can still feel the blood flowing freely, I shake my head, "How'd you know I was in there?"

"I didn't, I heard a loud crash and I came to look and you were pinned to the ground next to a knocked over bookshelf."

We stop talking and crouch beside each other as the cart begins to move with a jerk. It's the opposite this time, we'll be climbing onto the bottom later which means our timing is crucial. I rest my back against the boxes and ignore the pain.

I smile, "That was fun."

"Tell me about it."

"Do you think someone will notice when we get back?"

He shrugs, "I'm not making any promises this time?" He smirks.

"Well thanks for saving my life."

"Any day princess." He reaches out and pulls out the dagger, "Except, next time; bring your own dagger please."

When we finally get back to the main lounge, its empty which makes our entrance fairly easy. I wonder if they've changed rooms yet.

"When do you think he'll find out?" Fuji asks.

Lee smiles widely, "Who know? But I hope the news spreads here too once he does."

I laugh despite the fact that my neck is still covered in dried blood.

"Where were you?" I whirl around when I hear Ty Lee's voice, she's standing at the entrance with her hands on her hips.

I give her a look, "What do you mean? I already told-"

"General Chan is looking for you all."

Her words make my blood run cold and the amused expression on all of our faces are wiped clean. My knees grow weak and I glance from Lee to Fuji to Gen.

I'm the first one to speak, "Why?"

"I don't know. But I told you it'd be fine as long as you guys were back before the afternoon. He obviously noticed you were missing," She sighs, "He told all of the soldiers and me and Haru that if we saw you to tell you to come to the meeting hall."

I clench and unclench my fist. Did one of his soldiers contact him? How could he find out so quickly? My mind is racing and I look up at Ty Lee, scrounging up whatever amount of bravery I have left in me, "Where's the meeting hall?"

* * *

**Tell me what you thought! Please Review! **

**How do you guys like Lee?**


	17. Chapter 17

**Enjoy!**

* * *

While we were gone, Ty Lee must have become familiar with the North Wing of the palace. We all follow her in a painful silence as she leads us to the meeting hall. I feel like when I was younger and I would get in trouble with one of my teachers and they would make me wait in a tented area until the headmaster would come and speak to me.

I feel like a child when we finally stop in front of a large door. Two soldiers stand at the door and they open the door upon our arrival. Lee mutters something, but I can't make out what he says. When we enter, I'm shocked to see General Chan not alone. He's standing at a long table, two or three soldiers surrounding him.

I glance behind me to see Ty lee leaving.

General Chan walks around the table to face us, he's angry- he's definitely angry. I hold my breath, "Welcome back soldiers," He says in a controlled voice.

I nod my head, acknowledging his words and not the fear that is running through my body. I've seen what Chan can do and what he would do to get what he wants. I've seen it one too many times and bile rises in my throat.

"The instructions for elite soldiers this morning were as follows, you stay indoors or on the fields and by afternoon the maids would escort you to your newly assigned rooms," He takes a slow step forward, "Were those instructions difficult to follow?" His question is quiet, discreet, terrifying.

He looks directly at me, "Answer my questions soldier."

I try to swallow but I can't, "No, general." I say, my voice sounding detached. Lee shifts his weight uncomfortably and I wonder if he can come up with a snarky comment right now.

General Chan nods knowingly, "Today four rooms that should have been occupied were empty." He crosses his arms, "Now answer me this, what exactly were you all _thinking_?"

He walks closer to all of us, circling around us, analyzing his prey. None of us say a word. I feel as if there's cotton balls stuck in my throat, I can't swallow or speak. I wait for him to say something about his house. But I realize he may not even know about it yet. I'm not sure if that makes the situation better or worse.

"You were all chosen as elite soldiers- the highest ranking soldiers of the fire nation and on your first day off- you decide to scamper around the town. What were you thinking? That no one would find out? Tell me colonial, what were you thinking?"

My stomach does a somersault. I wish he wouldn't narrow me out. I wish he wouldn't use the word 'colonial' as an insult. I wish he would stop waiting for an answer. I shake my head, "I-" I look up at him, "I don't know."

He stares at all of us long and hard, "Can any of you come up with a reason for me not to report this to the Fire Lord? For me not to get you removed off of the elite soldiers all together?"

"We're sorry general," Fuji says.

Chan laughs harshly, "You're sorry? Do you think you're offending me in some way by not following my instructions?" He shakes his head, "You all shouldn't be sorry, you should be worried."

"It won't happen again," Gen cuts in.

I'm praying to God we didn't leave behind any evidence of us being the ones to go into his house.

Chan cracks his knuckles hard; I can hear each crack loud enough to make me wince, "This is your warning, if I ever find any evidence of any one you leaving the palace boundaries again, I will not hesitate to have you kicked off the for good."

His voice gets louder, "But do not think that you will not have to face any consequences for your actions. Do not forget that I will be the one training you twice a week. And do not think that I will forget what you have done."

He watches us for a moment, "You're dismissed." He finally says.

My legs shake slightly as we walk out, Lee waits until we're far away from the room to speak, "Well that went better than I expected."

I roll my eyes.

"You know, I'm kind of glad now we chose our time of freedom to ransack his home," Gen says.

"It was totally worth it," Fuji agrees.

When the maids escort us to our new rooms, we all say goodbye. I enter my room to find a large bed with a nightstand and a dresser and my small bag with my minimal belongings. I flop down on the bed wanting to catch up on some of the sleep I missed at night when I hear a knock on my door.

I get up and walk over to the door, Haru and Ty Lee stand awkwardly, "Hey," Haru says.

I smile and let them in. I sit down on my bed cross legged, "So where were you all day?" Haru asks.

I pull my knees up onto the bed and wrap my arms around it, "You guys honestly wouldn't believe it," I lower my voice, "We ransacked General Chan's house."

Ty Lee's eyes widen, "Is that why he called you?"

I laugh, "No, he was angry because we left when we weren't supposed to."

Haru glances at me, "What happened to your neck?"

I touch the back of my neck and grit my teeth, "There was a soldier there."

I know they have hundreds of questions to ask me, but they don't say anything else.

"What did- what did you guys do all day?" I ask.

Haru shrugs, "Nothing really, just relaxed."

Ty Lee glances at my cast and I know I should tell her and Haru, but I don't feel like repeating the entire story again, "Listen, I'm really tired, I didn't really get any sleep last night," Ty Lee meets my eyes, "I just think I should get some sleep before tomorrow."

Haru stands up and nods, "Yeah of course, my room's right across from yours and Ty Lee is beside you." They both leave and I lower myself onto the bed and shut my eyes.

I wake up to pitch darkness. I look over to the grandfather clock located near the small washroom in my room, it's three am. I lay in bed for half an hour, trying to get back to sleep, but I feel wide awake. I get up and stretch my legs out.

I look over to my bag that's been sitting untouched ever since I arrived here, around my neck I'm still wearing the fire nation choker I received from Jane. I reach down into the back pocket of the bag, stretching out my fingers in search of my mother's choker. I wrap my arms around the belting of it and tug it out.

I stare at it for a moment and wonder if I could somehow pull off saying I got the choker from the colonies. I wonder if anyone would even look closely enough to care. I stare at it for a while longer before sighing and carefully setting it back down in the back pocket of the bag. I can't take any chances.

I get up and pull on my boots, unsure of where exactly I'm going but not being able to stay inside this room any longer. The long and wide hallway is lit dimly; I take small, soft footsteps as I pass by the other elite soldiers' rooms. IN training tomorrow, we'll be meeting the existing elite soldiers and training with them. I shiver when I remember Chan's words, telling us how he was going to make our training hell.

I still don't regret going out with them today. It had to be the most fun I've had in a while.

I walk past the long hallway of elite soldiers and turn left, there's seems to be an endless amount of hallways in this palace, all of which the Fire Lord must be aware of. There's so many rooms, I can' keep track of all of them and it reminds me of the nationless ship. It reminds me of the room with the computers.

A chill runs down my spine as I wonder if Jet is watching me now- if any of the other soldiers are watching me carry out the mission. I wonder if they'll send someone to somehow help me out, clear things up for me as to when exactly I should- I should kill the fire lord.

The thought makes me cringe, I know that's why I'm here and I shouldn't keep pushing away this thought, but I can't help it.

I turn another corner until I realize I may or may not be lost, but I don't turn back around. I continue walking down the hallway. There are large portraits in this hall; I squint in the dimly lit hallway to make some of them out. Along the right wall are portraits of different men, many of the portraits seem outdated. I walk up closely to one and squint hard to read the small writing along the bottom.

'Fire Lord Sozin – deceased' and beside it is a date, when he was born and when he died. I look up at the actual portrait. I look to the right of the portraits, every past fire lord is here. I walk to the right to the next portrait.

'Fire Lord Azulon – deceased'

There are two more portraits; I walk to the next one. It appears to be newer, more recent. A lump forms in my throat when I read the name.

'Fire Lord Ozai – deceased'

I stare up at his portrait; he's sitting in the same throne his past ancestors once sat in. His black hair is tied up in the same round emblem that every Fire Lord has worn. He has a short beard, just on his chin. His eyes are golden but filled with a fiery passion, so alive, so bright; I find it hard to believe he's dead.

This is the same man who brought the peak of this war to the world. I shudder but I can't stop looking at him. I wonder where this passion for carrying out a war originates from. I glance to my left down the long hallway, filled with all the past fire lords, where did the evil within them all begin? Who tainted their royal bloodline? He killed many more than any other past Fire Lord. He destroyed cultures, destroyed invaluable knowledge; destroyed so much of what had once been bright and good.

His people should have revolted if they were of any good.

I walk to the last portrait, it's covered with a large, thick tarp. I reach my hand to the tarp but I clench it into a fist and it drops to my side. This is Fire Lord Zuko's portrait, yet to be painted, yet to be hung up, yet to place the small writing 'deceased' below it.

I reach out and touch the tarp, maybe there is something-

"It seems that you have a knack for making unwise decisions."

My hand freezes in air, I gasp and whirl around. It takes my eyes a moment to focus on his frame. His golden eyes watch me, waiting for some sort of reply. "I- I was just-" I can't help it as I stammer out a response. When his eyes glance down at my cast, a wave of uneasiness washes over me. It reminds me it was only last night when Kol had me cornered against a wall.

His eyes sweep over to the tarp-covered portrait that will soon enough be holding up his painting, as if forgetting the answer to his statement. Maybe he's wondering the same about me, but I can't help wonder what he's doing up at this time, still completely dressed in his finely pressed robes and his black hair held up by the crown in the same way it held up every past fire lords hair.

"What are you doing?" He finally asks, turning back to me.

I cross my arms over my chest and hold my elbows for some form of support, "I couldn't sleep."

"I mean what are you doing _here._" I wonder if there's a physical resemblance between him and his father.

I shrug, trying to make it seem casual, "I kind of just stumbled upon this hallway," I don't like being alone with him. I don't like being close to him. I don't like him looking at me, "Why isn't your portrait up here yet?" The words spill out of my mouth before I can rethink them.

His hand touches the tarp, "I'm not dead yet," He replies plainly, his voice lacking the sort of emotion anyone else's voice would have when speaking of their own demise, he glances at his father's portrait and his face remains a blank slate. Could it be possible for him to be indifferent to his father's death? Glad even? I wouldn't be surprised- he's the fire lords son. Spreading hatred and violence is in his blood.

I swallow hard and he turns back to me, "How's your arm?" He asks. His voice is low, soft, comforting.

I shake my head, "It's nothing- it's fine." I want my feet to move, walk back to my room, but I stand still. I wonder if his next words will question me for being outside in the first place, but he just nods.

"Do you think- think that Kol knew it was you?" I ask him, my voice shaking slightly.

He faces me, half of his face shadowed by the dimness of the hallway, "I doubt it."

He doesn't seem to want to elaborate but I can't keep my questions contained, "What…where is he now?" I bite down on my tongue. I shouldn't be talking to him. I shouldn't be asking him questions.

"At the infirmary," His voice has a sharp edge to it.

A part of me is relieved and a part of me tightens up, "He's in bad shape?"

He shakes his head, "He'll live," His eyes focus on mine and I look away almost too quickly, "What were you doing there in the first place?"

I try to take in his words. I try to form words but they seem to sit on my tongue, unable to piece together. I inhale through my nose, "I followed him outside," I admit my eyes sweeping up to meet his gaze. He looks slightly amused as if me following Kol was expected.

"I wanted to see where he was going, so I followed him and he saw me," I stop talking as my throat grows tight and I clench my fists and look down at the ground. I don't want to repeat the story, I don't want to relive last night.

He crosses his arms over his chest and watches me carefully.

I feel a flush rise up in my cheeks, "What?"

"You could've done smarter things," His remark makes me bite down hard on my lip.

"Well I apologize your _highness, _but I could have handled it myself," I retort.

His right eyebrow raises a hair, "Didn't seem like it."

I narrow my eyes at him, "I could have handled myself," I repeat.

"You were pinned against a wall," He says, "He _broke _your arm."

I take a deep breath, "I-"

"I expected better from you."

My mouth clamps shut as I take in his words. _I expected better from you. _I look at him, "What are you talking about?"

His eyes soften, "You should have been able to handle it yourself, but you didn't. I expected better from you," His voice softens along with his features.

I'm glad its dark because my face is heating up, "Why can't you banish him?"

He's caught off guard by my question. He doesn't say anything for a long time, I watch as his expression hardens again, losing any sort of expression, and I know I've said the wrong thing. He takes a step away from me, "Banishment isn't the answer to every problem." He says quietly.

I can't help it as I grow frustrated, "He could have killed me."

"You're a soldier- you should have been able to handle it."

"He tried to _kill _me and you're saying it's not a big deal?" My voice is growing louder.

He's silent for a beat too long, "He could have. He didn't. I can't punish people for crimes they _could_ have committed," His eyes lower and his eyelashes shield the brightness of them. His scar is accentuated in the dimly lit hallway. I stare at it long enough that he notices and I feel as if he builds a wall between us.

Suddenly detached, reminded of his position as the fire lord, he looks at me directly, "You should go back to sleep, you're training starts tomorrow." He turns and walks away swiftly, his strides long and confident. I watch him go until silence envelops me and I look back at his portrait.

I'm not supposed to be speaking to him. I have one mission and that's to kill him. I'm not here to get friendly with the person supporting the killing of hundreds of people.

When I get back into my room, I climb back into bed and lay awake until morning arrives.

I get up when the beams of sunlight peek through the thick curtained windows. After I wash up, I open the armoire and examine my choices of dressing. I hear a knock on my door and I walk over to open it, expecting Ty Lee or Haru. An elderly maid curtsies in front of me and I'm taken aback. No one has ever curtsied to me.

"Good morning, my lady."

I look at her, "It's Katara."

She gets up from her curtsy and smiles warmly, "Well Miss Katara, every elite soldier is assigned a personal maid and that's why I'm here. My names Mei. Have you picked out what you're wearing? Theirs a specific suit you should be wearing to at least your first day of training as an elite soldier." She rambles on as she enters the room and walks over to the armoire, tearing through it until she finds what she's looking for.

She pulls out a fancy, expensive looking suit with accentuated shouldering. It's lined with gold cuffs with gold lining tracing a fire nation emblem in the center of the suit. It seems to have built in armour, and as she hands it to me, I'm surprised at how heavy it is. How am I supposed to fight in this? It weighs almost half of my weight.

"You should get changed, don't want to keep your general waiting."

She ushers me into the washroom and I quickly change into the suit. I enjoy the feel of expensive fabric against my skin. I can feel the silk inners of the suit pressed fitted against my body and I smile slightly as I look at my reflection in the mirror. I shouldn't be smiling while be a symbol for the fire nation but I can't help.

When I walk out, she takes in my expression, "It looks lovely, now sit down, we'll have to do something about your hair."

I oblige reluctantly. I don't like people touching my hair but her fingers are quick in sweeping up my bird nest and combing through it smoothly. She smooth's back my hair with her hands and ties it up tightly in a neat ponytail.

"Alright, let's go," I follow her, trying to listen to her as she continues talking, "Eat as much as you can, you'll really need your energy for today." Some of the other elite soldiers are coming out of their rooms, many of them the existing soldiers that I don't recognize. I catch a glimpse of Lee stepping out of his room, yawning as he follows behind his own maid.

When he meets my eyes, he smirks and catches up to me, "Fancy seeing you here princess, nice suit." He's dressed in a suit similar to mine, except mine is ever so slightly altered to fit the body of a woman. I nudge him, "You shouldn't be so happy, Chan's still our general."

"Way to ruin the mood."

My maid scowls at us and forces me to walk faster. Two large red doors open up for all the elite soldiers and an enormous table meets my gaze followed by two long rows of buffet tables. My stomach grumbles in response to the wafts of the food.

"Katara!" I turn around to see Ty lee grabbing my arm, Haru trails behind her. Ty Lee's suit is exactly like my own.

"Hey," I greet them.

"I'm starving, at least we'll finally get food worth swallowing," Ty lee complains. I know it's just a statement but it makes my insides writhe, all of us are lucky to be receiving food compared to the rest of the world which seems to be on the brink of complete starvation.

My maid finds me a seat, "What would you like to eat today Miss Katara- oh never mind, I'll get you a nice breakfast for today." She leaves before I have a chance to ask her if I could just go up and get my own food.

Ty Lee slides in the seat next to me and Haru on the other side of me. Lee, Gen and Fuji sit across from me. There's only one new elite soldier missing- Kol. I wonder if he'll even show up today. We sit in a small group as the other elite soldiers scatter across the rest of the table. Some of them are as young as me and some of them seem to be in their late twenties. They talk noisily and seem to be everywhere. My maid arrives back with a plate heaping with all sorts of food and delicacies I've never had the privilege to taste before.

Elite soldiers must be a small step down from royalty around here.

Theirs all sorts of fruits, a variety of different breads and bowls of something called yogurt. Different types of fresh squeezed juices and fresh milk. I devour as much as I can- trying not to seem greedy, but the food is heavenly.

"You eat a lot for a princess," I glance up at Lee as he watches me devour my food. I stick my tongue out at him and he chuckles.

* * *

**Tell me what you thought! Please leave a review, I read every single one of them and they all mean so much to me! Thanks for reading? **

**Any future predictions? **


	18. Chapter 18

**Enjoy!**

* * *

After breakfast, everyone's' maids are scattered around the large dining room, ushering everyone to hurry up and finish. Mei pushes me to drink another glass of juice before I get up. She actually wipes my chin with a napkin before she shepherds me out of the dining room.

It's complete chaos as all the elite soldiers enter the large training field, it's much larger and more advanced than the fields we trained on. Theirs a large weaponry where every single type of weapon I could have imagined lines the walls in different sizes, shades and shapes.

The maids leave us all as General Chan walks onto a slightly raised platform, "For the new batch of elite's we have just received- welcome to your first day of hell."

I guess I can't expect him to be any bit comforting. I attempt to count us all, there's about thirty of us here and now I understand why it's so necessary for more soldiers to enroll. The elite army is fairly small.

"I'm not big on introductions," He starts

"That's not a surprise," Lee murmurs next to my ear. I bite back my laugh.

"So we'll start today with all of you running the perimeter of this entire field. If you can't make it, you may as well pack up and go back to the hole you crawled out from. Obviously there's no elimination, but if you can't keep up- you leave."

We stay in the center of the running herd as we run. I try not to feel the burn in my chest as the run begins to feel endless. I'm not the fittest, but I'm not out of shape. Ty Lee and Haru run side by side behind me. Lee runs directly beside me. For a moment all I can hear is the crisp whooshing of the air as it transitions to fall and laboured breaths.

I focus on putting one foot in front of the other. Counting each step I take, I force myself to fantasize that there can't be much further to run. My breathing is sharp and sounding in between a gasp and a wheeze, but I ignore it as I force one foot in front of the other. Maybe I shouldn't have eaten as much as I did.

Finally we cross through a forested area which seems to be nearing the end, in the distance I can see the people who've made it, slowing to a walk. The distance shortens with each step and laboured breath I take. Lee crosses a moment before me and I curse myself for not pushing myself harder- even though its not a competition.

When I cross the finishing point, I want to collapse to the ground and catch my breath, but I force my run to a slow walk as I inhale hard to get some air into my lungs. Lee is holding his knees a few steps away from me. I walk over to him and he looks up at me.

The rest of the day is spent sweating hard and trying out all sorts of different weapons. Some of the stuff we do is difficult for me, because of my cast, but I manage. The entire time- my heart is pounding in my chest. When General Chan finally dismisses us, I keep my eyes lowered as I walk past him back to the palace.

He still hasn't said anything to us four, and I'm hoping he's forgotten, but I know for a fact that he hasn't.

Lee stretches out his arms, "At least we only have two days of this- and who knows maybe the fire lord will take us on one of his journeys."

I look at him steadily, "How often does he leave the palace?"

Lee shrugs, "I don't know, but that's the point of elite soldiers, while the soldiers have training every day for impractical situations- we're actually going out there and facing real life situations."

I take in his words and wonder if the Fire Lord would ever call me to be with him on one of his missions.

"It's more likely he'll take us- the newer elite soldiers to give us some sort of experience."

When I get back to my room, my maid is quick to knock on the door, I barely sit on my bed before she comes rushing in, "Miss Katara, you look exhausted, how was your first day? Do you feel alright? You look pale?"

There's a strange feeling in my stomach and I can't help feeling slightly light headed. I nod at Mei as she wanders around me.

"Well you don't have time to rest, I'm sorry to say."

I glance up at her.

"The Fire Lord is holding a dinner tonight for all the new elite soldiers. As you know, his elite soldiers are very dear to him and…" She trails on, "Are you sure you're okay?"

I just nod, "I'm fine." I wave her off.

"Well we have a lot to do, I have to get you cleaned up and then we'll find a nice dress for you-"

I stop listening and shudder when I remember having to dress up to meet Jane's special guest. Jet. I wonder what Jane's doing know. I wonder where my father is. I wonder where she's holding him captive.

She helps me to my aching feet and ushers me into the bathroom and waits expectantly for me to change. I feel my face heat up, "Aren't you going to leave?" I finally ask her.

She gives me a fatigued look, "I'm here to help you."

I reluctantly take off my clothes and step into the warm tub. My body relaxes in the warm water and I shut my eyes as she empties what seems like and endless amount of bottles into my hair. She massages her hands through my hair, washing away what seems like days and days of dirt and grime.

When she's done with my hair, she scrubs my entire body with scented ointments and body washes- being careful with my casted arm. My skin feels new with each scrub. She orders me to rinse out my hair under the tap and I comb my hands through it, taking in the smell of my hair. I've never smelt this nice in my entire life.

She wraps a towel in my hair and a towel around my body and secures it tightly around me and ushers me back outside. I examine my arms which seem after so long, seem clean. There are slight traces of bruises but the scabs have been rubbed away leaving only a few tender spots. I wonder how my back looks now.

She seats me down in front of the vanity and I look at my reflection. She pulls the towel out of my hair and combs it back, I take in how smooth and clean it looks and I can't help smiling slightly. She walks in front of me, "Have you ever worn makeup before?"

I shake my head reverently.

I watch carefully as she opens a drawer and pulls out different makeup products. I've never worn makeup before, but I'm not unfamiliar to it. I remember the days when mother used to apply makeup; me watching her as she painted her eyes. Not to mention Jane with her red painted lips.

She starts with my eyes, telling me to shut them and applying something to my eyelid. She works quickly, brushing something on my face and then focusing on my cheeks. I keep my eyes shut the entire time. She tells me to open my mouth and tighten my lips as she paints them- I'm hoping it's not red.

When she's done, I open my eyes and look carefully at my expression. My eyes are lined with black at the top and there's a shimmery blue shade on my eyelids beneath it. My face has a new glow to it and my cheeks are flushed slightly. My lips are painted a light shade that makes them look fuller. I'm not pretty- I already know that. But I look older- more mature. I look noticeable.

"You look beautiful," Mei says to me, looking at my reflection.

I stand up and realize I'm still only wearing a towel. She walks me over to the armoire and begins pulling out expensive dresses, with the finest materials and most luxury fabrics. I eye them greedily, imagining how it would feel to wear them.

"There's so many," I say, "How do I choose?" I've never been comfortable in a dress but I can't help wondering how the materials would feel against my skin.

"They're all yours, it doesn't matter," She replies. The way she replies so dismissively makes me wonder how much wealth the Fire Nation owns.

I trace my hands over a light blue dress, it has golden coiffuring on its bodice, sleeves that are slightly puffed near the shoulders but tighten near the wrists. I pick it up, "This one."

Mei smiles and helps me put it on.

As she tightens the corset, I feel my ribs shattering, "Stop-" I breathe. Mei just shakes her head, "Relax and it'll tighten easier." She pulls harder, wrapping the strings around her hands and I grasp the sides of the armoire, I gasp loudly.

When she's done, she tucks the stray strings inside the dress and zips it up. I turn around, trying to focus on breathing like a regular human, "It's too tight." I say to her, facing her, "I'm going to pass out before dinner starts."

She smiles, "Then it's perfect, turn around." I force myself to turn around, "It looks lovely, stop scowling, you'd look so much prettier if you smiled, and don't furrow your eyebrows like that, keep your face relaxed, you're smudging your lip gloss."

I know she's trying to make me feel better about myself- but it doesn't help. For if I had to use my smile to enhance my features, I obviously wasn't pretty to begin with.

I scowl at her and she gives me a look then walks up to me and combs through my hair once more. She sets it and uses a few pins to set it in place. She hands me a pair of heels that match and I slip my feet into them, I try to walk around without falling, "There, you're ready."

I sigh- or at least try to, the dress is far too tight and the uneasiness in my stomach is already returning, "Oh!" She exclaims, "I didn't even pay attention to the time, we're late!" She almost shoves me out of my room and we speed walk down the hall and I feel light headed, not being able to get my breaths in and out properly. My stomach flips as we near the doors.

The doors open to the dining room and Mei stops at the entrance, "Please smile, I have to go now, have fun." I don't have time to thank her before she hurries off. I walk in, focusing on breathing. I see everyone already there; Haru, Ty Lee, Lee, Fuji, Gen. They're sitting talking in low voices. I slowly enter and they look up at me.

I slip in beside Lee, across from Haru and Ty Lee, Lee whispers, "Someone cleans up nicely."

I smile at him and glance at the seat on the shortest side of the table. The Fire Lord hasn't arrived yet. There's a seat beside his chair, for General Chan, I'm guessing. I still feel a little nauseous and I try to take deep breaths.

"Katara, are you okay?" I glance up at Ty Lee as she watches me. I hold my breath, waiting for the nausea to pass then nod. She's wearing a light pink gown, her hair let down. She's beautiful in an effortless way and I can't help but envy her for her looks.

My attention diverts as I hear the sound of the doors opening and I feel my stomach drop to the floor and I suddenly can't breathe for real.

Kol walks in, dressed in an elite soldier suit, his jaw is swollen and the bottom of his left eye is blackened, other then than that he seems fine. He still walks in with the type of swagger and confidence that makes me want to puke all over the table. I keep my eyes trained on the table as I hear Fuji and Gen greet him. I wait for Lee's voice as he greets him, when I hear it, I feel a wave of nausea wash over me.

I can't take in how much he scared me and the events of two nights ago flash through my mind. The entire table seems to erupt in talk and I clench my fists as the feel of being slammed against a wall fills me. My cast is a remaining reminder of what happened and I put my arms in my lap- not to mention the bruises on my back.

The doors open once more and General Chan walks in, dressed in a newly pressed suit. I'm surprised he's not accompanied by the Fire Lord. The others stand up as he enters and the soldiers at the door nod at him, holding up their hands to their foreheads in respect. I stand up, my legs shaking slightly. He takes a seat at the table and adjusts himself in his seat, he finally looks at all of us and the conversation subsides.

"The Fire Lord will not be joining us today," He doesn't offer any more reason as to why he won't be able to be here, he just eases into conversation with the soldiers around him. Soon the food is brought around and my plate it filled. The others begin to eat and Haru and Ty Lee try to speak to me but I can't listen to them over the waves of nausea hitting me.

The others begin eating and I can't even look at the food as the smell surrounds me. My stomach twists and I need some sort of fresh air, but the damned dress won't even let me get in any amount of air. I ignore the nausea and continue holding my breath.

"Aren't you going to eat anything?" I freeze as I hear Chan's cold voice, I keep my head staring down at the table and nod, "Yes." I inhale through my nose and exhale through my mouth, trying to settle my stomach. Bile is rising in my throat.

Lee nudges me lightly, "How you holding up princess?"

I feel sick. Kol is sitting diagonal to me and when his eyes glance up and meet mine, the nausea crashes down on me and before I know it, I'm sprinting out of the room, out through the closest doors until I'm somewhere outside. I somehow make it to some sort of shrubbery and I fall onto all fours until I'm heaving up whatever breakfast I had. I grasp my stomach as I gag. I stay on all fours next to the bush until my stomach settles slightly.

"Who's there?"

My stomach turns at the sound of his voice again and I hold my breath again- waiting for the hurling to start again, when it doesn't, I get up on my knees and wipe my mouth with the back of my hand. I reluctantly turn around to face him and I wonder how many late night meetings we'll have until I die of humiliation. His golden eyes look from me down to my dress which is now covered in dirt to the bush.

"Shouldn't you be at the dinner?" He asks me, a strange question considering he just saw me puke behind a bush.

I wish my stomach would stop doing somersaults, "I could ask you the same question, your highness." I respond dryly. And I notice that whenever he's alone, away from his soldiers, he's more comfortable. His shoulders are loosened, his steps less stiff. He's more youthful- more like himself.

"What's wrong, was it something you ate?"

I feel embarrassed that he acknowledged me being sick, "Yes, I suppose." I respond, wanting to get away from outside, and hoping he doesn't see the mess I made behind the bush, "Aren't you supposed to be somewhere else?" I ask him.

He looks at me, "Why do you ask?"

"Well if you weren't at the dinner, you must have had somewhere more important to be."

He nods, acknowledging my question, "It's been a long day, I wasn't in the mood to be eating a meal."

I wonder if his 'long days' can be any worse than mine. I give him a look, "It must be _exhausting_ being a fire lord every day, isn't it?" I say sarcastically.

He chews on his lower lip and I look away from him, "There's been an attack on the Southern colonies of the Fire Nation by the earth kingdom," His voice is tight, he's stressed, "They cornered them on all sides, taking hundreds captive and destroying most of the colony."

I feel something in my heart and I regret using my sarcasm. I take a deep breath; I'm supposed to be from the colonies. I look up at him, "Why?" I ask him.

He glances at me, his eyes sharp, "They want a reaction from us- from me. They're taking down the poorer places in the Fire Nation, waiting for some sort of a reaction, narrowing us down by knocking down our vulnerable places. They want us to retaliate."

"Why aren't you- we retaliating?"

"We can't. There's no use in sending out soldiers to those colonies, they've already destroyed so much of our army and they know how desperate we are and how in need we are of more soldiers. They've wiped out so many of our soldiers because they send out _all _their troops. They send out every single soldier to destroy our army, piece by piece."

His voice is contracted, "We can't keep retaliating-"

"So you're just going to let them die?"

He flinches at my question as if I've slapped him. He watches me for a long time before responding, "What do you expect us to do?"

"Just because they're not as wealthy- they're not as important?" My voice is growing louder and my stomach flips again and I swallow- hoping I won't be gagging again any time soon.

"That's not-"

"Why can't you send all of your army if it prevents hundreds from being killed?"

"It's-"

Cutting the fire lord off is something I shouldn't be doing even at sword point, but I can't shut my mouth, as usual, "How could you measure the importance of so many lives! You're the fire lord, why don't you do-"

"You will not speak to me in that tone," He says sharply and I suddenly feel something sink inside of me. His eyes flash with controlled anger, he recovers rather quickly, "I can't send out all of my soldiers because that would be simply _impractical._ Our soldiers have been wiped out multiple times fighting for the colonies but its not making any difference, there's too many of them." His voice softens, "We can't afford to lose more soldiers."

My voice shakes, "So what are you going to do now?"

"I have to go out to the Southern colonies and provide them the financial support they need to fix their country."

I look past him, "That's my home-" My voice tightens from the lie but it makes the lie somehow more believable, and there's only a part of me that realizes that's where Chanzai comes from. I feel tightness inside myself.

Fire Lord Zuko turns to face me, his jaw tight, and I don't know what I'm expecting to see, compassion? Apology? Pity? I don't see anything. He continues to look at me for a long time, not saying anything. His eyes sweep up and down me as if just realizing how dressed up and made up I am, but it's a look that makes my stomach turn again. _How dare he look at me like that? _

"Katara! Katara, are you here?" I hear Lee's voice and I straighten up, wiping my mouth again, wondering what Mei would say if she saw me in this state. Lee sees me and glances over at the Fire Lord. Fire Lord Zuko turns around slightly, glancing at Lee. Lee bows down low immediately, "I was just looking for Katara, your highness."

He walks up to me, "Are you okay? We looked all over for you, Ty lee and Haru went all around the palace."

I blush at the attention and try and forget the presence of the fire lord as I nod. Lee bows down once more but I remain stiff as I look at the fire lord, he watches me as I stand- refusing to bow, but he doesn't say anything.

I can feel his stare as I start walking- following Lee back into the palace.

* * *

**Thanks for reading! Please leave a review! Tell me what you thought! Any questions, comments, or criticism is welcome!**

**What do you think of Zuko's character? Is he a little ooc? I dunno, but I really hope you guys are enjoying this story & I promise it will pick up soon. Please leave a review!**


	19. Chapter 19

**Enjoy!**

* * *

We walk in a held silence, I realize we're not going back to the dining hall. _Good. _I don't think I can manage showing my face back in there, especially if Kol's there. I wonder if I should have told the Fire Lord that Kol showed up again- I push the thought out of my mind. Why would the Fire Lord be interested in hearing my problems?

"Are you going to tell me what happened?" Lee says, his eyebrows drawn in as he faces me.

I look past him, "I felt sick."

"Why was the Fire Lord there?" His voice is hinting seriousness.

I shrug.

"Katar-"

"I said I don't know, he just showed up."

Lee watches me for a moment before nodding, "Do you want to go back to the dining hall?"

I shake my head fast, "I'm going back to my room."

He shifts his weight then nods, "I'll go find Ty Lee and Haru, they're probably still looking for you." He smiles slightly before he turns around and I watch him leave. And I wonder where along the way of plotting to murder the fire lord I made friends.

I don't want to consider anyone my friend- because as I've told myself a million times, I'm not here to make friends, but I can't deny it anymore. A feeling of warmth blossoms in my chest as I begin walking back to my room.

When I shut the door, I sit down on the edge of my bed. My stomach is still churning, so I don't bother laying down.

I think about the Fire Lord's words, it didn't make sense that he Earth Kingdom was overpowering the Fire Nation. Did the fire nation really not have enough soldiers? Or was that some sort of pathetic excuse so the Fire Lord wouldn't have to get his hands dirty- I wouldn't be surprised.

I take my shoes off, and attempt to take my dress off, but I realize I'll need Mei to help take it off. It's still crushing my ribs and limiting my breathing, but I'm not sure where Mei would be right now. I don't want to disturb her when I'm supposed to be at dinner. Instead, I collect the skirt of it and wrap my uninjured arm around my knees and hug my body tightly.

The Fire Lord will most likely leave soon, with his few elite soldiers to travel to the colonials. He'll provide them financial support- but not anything more. It's not fair for them to be the first to have their lives taken from them. But this problem can easily be solved- if the Fire Lord would end this war. I wipe my eye with the back of my hand.

I'm not here to interfere with issues concerning the war. I'm here as the solution. The person who will take down the Fire Lord. But even if I do take down the fire lord- isn't there someone who would take his place? Anyone that could be the fire lord?

But that's not my problem; I'm not here to murder every single person who _could _become the fire lord, that wasn't the deal. I push my back against the wall and clench my teeth as the remaining pain shoots up my spine. I'm not afraid of Kol, I shouldn't be- not anymore. The Fire Lord was right; I should have been able to handle myself. I can't believe I let fear paralyze me for so long.

There's a soft knock on my door and I glance up at the door. I force myself to stand up and walk over to the door. Mei looks at me with a concerned face, "I heard what happened, are you okay? You still look pale, here, let me help you take off that dress." Her apologetic tone fills the silence of my thoughts and I'm glad.

She unzips my dress and carefully loosens the corset, lifting a hundred weights off my chest. I take a deep breath as she pulls the rest of the dress off carefully. She hands me a nightgown, its thin and comes just slightly below my knees. I don't bother caring about the skin I'm showing as I change into it.

"Here, lie down child," She pulls the covers over me and actually tucks me in, her warm hand touches my forehead, "Hopefully you'll feel better tomorrow. But just in case-" She turns around and pours a clear liquid onto a spoon, "Drink it, it'll help."

I swallow down the bitter medicine and take a sip of water before lying back down. Sleep makes my eyes heavy and before I know it- I'm fast asleep.

_I run down the long hallway, my breath hitches in my throat with each step I take, I try to keep my steps and breathing as silent as possible. The dagger is buried deep into the belt of my wrappings, it digs into my leg with each step I take. I lean against the wall and glance at the closed doors. I take a deep breath and walk up to the doors. _

_I can do this. _

_The soldiers at the door open them and they nod at me, in respect. I take long strides as I walk into the room. The Fire Lord is sitting on a chair next to his large bed, staring out the large window. When he hears my footsteps, he turns and smiles, his golden eyes softening as they always do when he sees me. _

_Guilt claws in my throat, strangling me as the dagger jabs my leg again. The Fire Lord stands up to greet me and I wish he wouldn't. I can't help looking at how pathetic he looks, how unguarded he is, how unprotected. How trusting he is of me. It's pathetic._

_I wonder what I did to make him trust me so much. _

_He says something to me and then turns back to the window. IN a split second, I have the dagger slipped out of my bindings and in my hand. I wonder where it would fit better, his back or directly through his chest. I decide his chest would make the job cleaner. _

_I take a hesitant step forward, not because I'm afraid someone will catch me, he's completely alone, but because I don't want to see the trust he has in me shatter in his eyes. I say his name and he turns, half smiling._

_I bury the dagger deep into his chest and look away from him, try to not listen as he falls to the ground. Try not to look as his blood pools at my feet. When I'm sure he's gone, I pull the knife out and wipe his blood on the back of his robes. He lays lifeless, his golden eyes still open. _

_I open the large windows of his room, and climb out onto the ledge. It's over. He's dead. _

I wake up with a jolt, a splintering pain in my head as I try to move. A scream is hooked in my throat but doesn't come out. My head explodes with the pain as I glance down at my hands, there's no blood, no dagger, I wipe my hands on my nightgown urgently. The pain is so fierce, "Mei-" I gasp as another shock of pain splinters all across my mind.

"Mei!" My voice isn't loud enough. I try to pull my covers back, but the pain is so intense, my vision blackens for a moment. Before I know it, the scream climbs its way out of my throat. Mei comes rushing in, carrying piles of clothes. She drops them to the floor and rushes to me, dropping to her knees by my bed.

She's sayings something but I can't stop screaming. The pain is paralyzing every thought. She's feeding me something and I don't know what's happening until my eyes shut.

When I wake up again, the pain has subsided to a light throb that doesn't at all compare to the pain that seemed existent a few seconds ago, "Mei?" My voice comes out a croak. She's sitting right by my head, "I'm right here child, how are you feeling?" She's pressed a warm cloth to my head and I sit upright in the bed.

"Lie back down-"

"I feel better," I gently move her hand away from my forehead, wondering why I'm being given people- friends- maids, I don't deserve. I shut my eyes and open them again, she's looking at me, concern lining her forehead.

"I feel much better," I repeat, "Thank you," I say softly.

She's still watching me, as if waiting for the pain to return.

"What time is it?" I ask her, "I have to go to training."

She gives me a look of disbelief, "You're not in any conditi-"

"Please-" I can't- am not going to look weak in front of anyone ever again, running away from the dining hall and not returning was already too far, "I have to go."

Disappointment laces her features as I stand up, I turn to her, "I promise I feel fine." I rush off into the washroom and when I come back out, I smile as she hands me my suit. I change into it quickly and she ushers me off to breakfast.

I get my own breakfast this time. I keep my head held high even as Kol watches me as I walk past him. I sit next to Ty lee and Haru, the same spot as yesterday, Lee sits across from me.

"Are you okay?" Ty Lee asks me.

I smile and nod, "I feel great."

When we get back out on the field, Chan makes us run the entire perimeter of the field. My breathing staggers, but I ignore everyone around me as I run with all the strength in my legs. I don't keep track of who's behind me, or who's ahead of me. I just run, blood pounding through my veins.

When I cross the line, I realize there's only a few other lite soldiers who crossed before me. When I turn, I see Kol just crossing. A group of more elite soldiers then Lee, followed by Ty Lee and Haru, Fuji and Gen. I stretch out my legs and smile to myself.

By the end of the day, I relish in the throbbing of my body.

"Why are you so happy?" Lee asks from behind me as we all begin walking back to the palace. I shrug, "Is there something wrong with me being happy?"

He smirks, "Of course not, princess."

Ty Lee and Haru soon catch up with me, and we all walk back to my room. Lee leaves to his own room but Ty Lee, Haru and I all flop down on my bed.

"I'm so glad we only have to do this twice a day," Ty Lee says.

"Tell me about it," Haru massages his arm.

"I'm guessing the Fire Lord will be taking a few of us soon," I say quietly. They both look up at me.

"How do you know that?" Ty Lee demands.

I look at them, "Yesterday, after I got sick, he was out in the garden's and-"

"You had a conversation with the fire lord?" Ty Lee repeats.

I roll my eyes, "He said that- that the colonies have been attacked-"

Their faces soften, "I'm sorry Katara." Haru says and Ty Lee nods. I swallow, and just shrug, "He's probably going to go to them." I finish.

"Katara-" Ty Lee starts in an apologetic tone, I just wave her off, "It's fine. I'm fine."

"That's crazy, can't all these kingdoms realizing they're killing innocent people?" Haru's voice is harsh but not comparable to mine as I speak.

"Can't the fire lord end this war?" The words spill out of my mouth and both Ty Lee and Haru look up at me, "It's not the war that's killing these people, it's the people that are killing these people." I say softly, "If one of us just stood up and stopped it, no one would be killing innocent people."

"That's not how it works Katara, this has nothing to do with the firelor-" Ty Lee starts.

"This has everything to do with the Fire Lord, and you know it." I cut her off, "If he really wants to protect his nation- his people, then he could just put a stop to this war-"

"You can't blame him for cont-"

"Yes I can! He hasn't done anything to stop it ever since his father died and if that's not-"

"How could you eve-"

"Stop it guys!" Haru comes in between us, holding my uninjured arm, that's so like him, always trying to get me to stop talking. It's like everyone in the fire nation, they just don't want to hear the truth. I glare at him and then turn to Ty Lee, "You're just angry because you know it's the truth."

Ty Lee's eyes narrow but we both push the anger back down from where it came from. I flop down onto my bed, "I'm sorry, forget it." My voice softens, "You just have to realize that I-" My voice catches in my throat, "he's the reason my family's living how they are."

And it's the truth- just not detailed enough to get the guilt that's slowly strangling me to settle down.

"I understand," Ty lee says sorry, "I'm sorry, I can't really say anything. I've always been given everything- we all have." She rubs her arm, "The food, the money, the water- the vaccines."

My entire body tightens as I recall the hundreds of diseased villagers. I glance up at her, "It's okay." I shut my eyes and inhaled deeply through my nose. I wait until my lungs expand and fill with as much air as I can get in them and then I exhale through my mouth.

Someone's shaking me awake the next morning. I rub my blurry eyes with the back of my palms and Mei's face comes into focus.

"Katara, wake up-"

I yawn loudly and stretch out, "I don't have training, I can sleep in." Mei must be confused, I don't blame her though-

"For God's sakes child, wake _up._"

I pull the covers closer to my body and right as I drift off to sleep, she's shaking me again, pulling my blankets off. A beat of anger runs through me and I get up and glare at her, "_What _are you doing?"

She stands with her hands crossed over her chest, "Get up, the Fire Lord wants to meet you in his throne room."

A pulse of panic flutters in my chest. _Does he know? How could he know? _"Why?" I ask, my voice hoarse.

She shakes her head, "Hurry up- you don't want to keep him waiting." She mumbles something under her breath as she ushers me into the washroom. I take a quick bath and then I'm dragged out of the warm heavenly water to pull on a dress. I give her a look, "Why a dress?"

"You're not training today, you may as well take this opportunity to look like a lady."

I scowl at her and open my mouth to protest but she hushes me, tying up my hair. I'm glad she doesn't make me wear a corset- it's the least she could do. I follow her out the door feeling foolish as I'm dressed. I'm a soldier- not some starchy court lady.

Still, I admire the lavender coloured dress with a golden seamed neckline.

We walk down hallways I've never seen. I count my steps as we walk past different rooms, every door holding another secret about the fire nation away from me. She finally stops at two enormous door, so large and extravagant, I feel a lump rise in my throat. _This can't be good._

She straightens my hair as the soldiers open the door, she waves right at the doorstep and motions for me to go in. I walk into the room. It's a large room with an enormous chandelier hanging in the center, the crystalline detailing shining and shimmering all over the walls in their own reflections. Huge velvet drapes are pulled aside to allow the light of the morning to pass through. Near the center of the room is a large golden throne.

Upon it sits the Fire Lord himself rather pretentiously considering how arrogant his raised throne looks. When he sees me, his eyes glance at me and I'm not sure what I'm expecting, but he merely nods at my presence and then looks back towards the other elite soldiers standing in front of him. I force myself to curtsy slightly, much to my distaste.

Ty Lee, Lee and Kol stand at the foot of his throne. I keep my head high as I walk past Kol to stand next to Ty Lee. I'm relieved to see she's wearing a dress as well, but I can't help feeling ridiculous; both Lee and Kol are wearing their soldier suits.

I realize the Fire Lord must have called us here for a reason other than my execution. Unless he's deciding on public embarrassment.

"I thank you all for coming," The Fire Lord begins, his two soldiers standing right by his side. If I'm going to kill him- when I kill him, he'll have to be alone, "You must be wondering why I called you all here on such short notice. As most of you are unaware of," And for a small moment, he glances at me.

"The Southern colonies have recently been attacked, raided and left completely helpless once again. I must go over there to provide them with the support they need- but as you know I need to bring along elite soldiers, as protocol demands," He seems wary of having to have soldiers by his side everywhere.

"I have chosen you four to accompany me on my journey to the Southern colonies. Since this is your first journey, I must remind you to not pack anything. We depart tomorrow at the break of dawn."

I'm not surprised at the fact that I'm being included here, but what I am surprised with is why- why he would possible think having me and Kol come on the same journey would be a good idea. Anger broils in me and he catches my eye- I give him a steady glare before he dismisses us. We all bow, mine being stiff and more insulting than any act of respect.

Why would he do that?

We all turn to leave before he speaks again, "Soldier-" He doesn't say my name- I'm not even sure he knows my name- but I'm the first one to turn around. He nods at me, "You stay behind, the rest of you are dismissed."

I feel the panic rise inside of me again, mixing with my anger forming a sort of emotion I've never felt before.

When I hear the door soft gently behind them, I look up at the Fire Lord. I wonder if he's about to scold me for glaring at him but there's a hint of amusement in his eyes- which begs to differ, "What's wrong?" He asks after a moment, "By the way you're looking at me it seems you're planning my assassination."

A cruel laugh bubbles in my throat. Oh the irony. I push the laugh back down my throat before looking at him somberly, "Not at all, your highness." I reply, my voice dry.

He looks at me then laughs- actually _laughs_. It's a deep rich laugh. A laugh someone would long to listen to. He smiles at me, his eyes bright, "So what is it then? Am I mistaken?"

I cross my arms over my chest, "You must be." I reply, all too aware of the soldiers watching me- I bite back my snarky replies. He watches me, waiting for me to rethink my answer. I sigh, "Why would you ask Kol to come along?" It's an immature question that I shouldn't be asking the fire lord- but I can't help it.

He leans back in his throne, "He's a well-trained soldier- a adept fighter, with exceptional stamina," He pauses, "Why do you ask?" His eyes gleam.

He's mocking me.

I shake my head, "I apologize, your highness, I just thought you would be capable of making wiser decisions."

"And what, pray tell, would be a wiser decision?"

I roll my eyes at him and regret it when the soldier to his right takes a step forward. The Fire Lord holds out his hand and the soldier pauses, shooting me a death glare. I shift my weight, "Maybe you should rethink sending Kol and I on the same journey. If he's such an excellent soldier, maybe you won't even need me, right? Maybe you won't need any of us. It could just be you and Kol."

His eyes hint the humour he must be feeling, although I don't find anything humorous about this situation, "You're absolutely right soldier. So why don't you stay behind? It's your choice; would you like to stay behind? But I must warn you staying behind will have you kicked out of elite faster than even someone as sharp as you will be able to prepare for it."

I long to punch him as hard as I can, but I clench my fists. I'd rather go on a journey with Kol then completely screw up my real mission. I glance up at him and his eyes brighten, my face burns.

"I'm sorry, what's your answer?"

I grit my teeth, "Yes, I would like to come along," he smiles, "With your permission, may I please leave now?"

He nods and I turn, my face most likely red from frustration and walk out the doors. I don't know why I expected him to care about my feelings towards Kol, but I didn't expect him to embarrass me like that. Anger and embarrassment covers my entire body as I walk back to the room.

* * *

**Tell me what you thought! **

**What do you guys think of Zuko's character in this story? **


	20. Chapter 20

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Mei looks at me, "What did he say? What's happened? Why do you look so angry all the time?" I ignore her questions.

I spend the rest of the day in my room, or walking around the palace, tasting all the types of food the Fire Nation has to offer. I spend it mostly by myself- relishing in the freedom to be able to walk around the palace. I'm glad the elite soldiers have no instructions, no schedules, no specificity. We're as free as anyone could possibly be.

But when I'm alone, my mind takes me to places I don't want to be, it makes me listen to things I don't want to listen to. My throat tightens every single time I think of why I'm really here. But I need help. I'm not sure when I'm supposed to do it or how; the mission is all a haze in my mind.

I need Jane to send someone- anyone to come and help me, to clear things up for me. A part of me wants her to send someone, but a larger, more important part of me wishes to keep pushing the actual mission aside as far as I can, as far back into my mind as I can. But I know that's not practical.

I try not to think of it, but one day or another its bound to happen. I'll have to kill Fire Lord Zuko, my dream comes back to my mind and I grit my teeth. Would I use a dagger? Would I slip something into his drink? Would I fire at him from far away? Would I make it clean and quick, or long and painful- punishing him for all that's he done and all he stands for? And the worst question of all; How would me killing him make me any different form him? The questions fill my mind and make my head ache.

I slowly walk down another hallway, I pass by it first and then stop and walk back to get a better look at it. It's an enormous painting, larger than anything I've ever seen painted on a wall. It's almost a mural covering an entire section of the hallway.

I look at it carefully. It's a family photo. Something in me softens as I glance at it. I can see Fire Lord Ozai- Fire Lord Zuko's father- sitting on his throne, his hand resting on the shoulder of a young innocent boy. My throat tightens as I realize its Fire Lord Zuko, and the fact that he doesn't have a scar sends an uncertain chill down my spine. I look up at the rest of the portrait. A beautiful woman with long black hair stands behind the Fire Lord, holding the coiffuring's of the chair- his mother. Her eyes are golden, just like Fire Lord Zuko's. Beside Fire Lord Zuko sits a girl, younger than him, a smirk on her young face.

I'm taken aback. Fire Lord Zuko has a sister? It must be his sister? Who else would be in this family portrait. Millions of questions bombard my mind and I force myself to take a step back from the portrait. His mother? His sister? Where did they go? Is he completely void of family in this enormous palace?

The thought makes a sudden wave of loneliness wash over me. I look back at his family. How could he be the only one left? Maybe his mother and sister are still here? Is it a possibility I just haven't seen them yet?

But a thought paralyzes me, if they _are _still alive- especially his sister, when I kill him, she will take his place. My head throbs- Jane will _make _me kill any inheritors of the fire nation throne. But maybe she doesn't know, maybe she won't find out. Maybe I'll keep it to myself.

But it doesn't make sense, even if I kill the Fire Lord, isn't there somebody that could take his place- anybody at all? It's not my place to worry though, I was assigned one mission; to kill the Fire Lord, not to take down the entire fire nation, and the rest is up to Jane and her lackeys.

Mei is shaking me awake the next morning. I'm already fairly awake; I didn't sleep well at all last night. My mind was filled with the thoughts from earlier on in the day. I groggily get up to see that the sun hasn't risen yet. How punctual of the Fire Lord.

I wash up and then change into my elite soldier suit. She helps me as I slide my casted arm through the sleeve. I took off the sling, because it just resulted in more difficulties. Perhaps it'll be better soon enough. I yawn and she smooth's back my hair and ties it into a neat ponytail. She then sets a tray of breakfast next to me on the bed.

"There's no time for you to go into the dining hall, eat up here."

When I'm finished, she helps me up and ushers me out the door. I've grown acquainted with the fact that I'll rarely know where she's taking me. We walk through a large opening in the palace, and past it. It takes us one thousand, seventy six steps until we're outside. It's a fairly large place surrounded by the walls of the palace.

I see the others standing near a stable of some sort. I don't see the Fire Lord. I turn to face Mei and she smiles at me, "Have fun child, and stay safe." She wraps her arms around me and squeezes me gently, reminding me painfully of the way my mother used to hug me. I blink hard and smile and wave at her before I catch up with the others.

Ty Lee smiles at my shyly, as if remembering out little argument yesterday, "Hey."

I smile at her, "Hey, where's the Fire Lord?"

She nods just as he walks through a pair of large doors, a couple of soldiers trail behind him as he walks straight into the stables. He's dressed in a pair of trousers with a loose shirt and a belted vest and boots. I watch as he comes back out, holding the reins of a mighty black steed in his hand.

"All of you are free to choose whichever horse you want, we depart in half an hour. There's also a number of weapons in the weaponry, feel free to take any of them."

We all walk into the stables. I feel someone brush past me aggressively and glare at Kol's back. I look around the stable, all the horses are ready to go, the saddles on their backs with the reins tied on them, small supplies near the back of the saddle.

I look over at a white horse with a long white haired mane, I walk over to it. I've never ridden a horse- ever. I feel unease settle in my stomach as the others lead their horses outside.

"You okay princess?" Lee asks before turning out the stable. I nod and grab the reins. I walk over to the weaponry and pick up a sheathed sword with a plain black leather handle. I wrap the sheath around my waist. I grab four daggers and carefully strap them into the lining of my boots. I try and lead the horse outside. I give the reins a little tug and the horse starts walking slowly. I lead it outside and watch in shock as the others mount their horses with no difficulty.

Ty Lee glances at me, "Do you need help?"

I shake my head. How hard can it be to mount a horse? I place my right foot on the foot pad and it wobbles under my weight. I grab the reins of the horse and try to pull myself on, but with one arm it seems almost impossible. I try to climb on to it instead, holding on to the other end of the reins, I try and pull myself up.

"Have you never ridden a horse before?" I cringe at his voice. I don't face him, "I have- just not in a while."

I try again, rather awkwardly to get on. Embarrassment covers my face as the others watch me struggle.

I hear the Fire Lord chuckle under his breath and he watches me again, "Here-" Before I know it, his arms are around my waist and I'm swept off the floor, my mouth is agape when I'm seated on the saddle. He walks back to his own horse and mounts with one leg, making it look so effortless, he swings his other leg over and pulls his reins and turns to face us all on his horse. I'm surprised to see his other two soldiers mounting horses as well.

"It'll be a three day journey to the Southern colonies; we'll probably stay there a couple of nights before heading back." He says.

I can't help being shocked, three days? Couldn't we just take a ship? But I remember this is not the nationless- this is the fire nation. I swallow my surprise.

"Any questions before we depart?"

"Wouldn't taking a ship be quicker than riding by horse?" I ask him, unable to contain my curiosity.

"If you knew anything about maps, soldier, you'd realize taking a ship would take us longer than a week," He replies.

I hear one of his soldiers- the one with the crooked nose, and Kol laugh.

"Do you have any other unwise questions, or shall we start our journey?"

I keep my mouth shut. He nods, his back straight and flicks his wrists and the horse turns around in a slow trot. The two other of his soldiers follow by his side as Kol, Lee and Ty Lee all do the same. I flick my wrist and my horse stars trotting, each step it takes, makes pain go up my spine. But I don't complain.

There are a few problems to say the absolute least with me and my horse, but none that are too hard to manage on my own with a little help from the fire lord, much to my disappointment. The entire time we're riding, I'm a good few meters behind everyone, struggling to catch up. We travel through fairly barren looking lands, none of which seem to be occupied by people. Ty Lee slows her horse so it falls into place next to mine, "How are you holding up?"

I nod, "I'm fine."

She glances up ahead, "I think we'll be stopping for lunch in a while or so."

And after a couple of hours of travelling- we do stop for lunch. I somehow manage to make my horse come to a halt. Dismounting the horse is easier than mounting the horse. I get off rather ungracefully, slamming to the ground- but still manage to do it on my own. My back and legs ache from sitting on the horse all day.

The others are all taking some supplies off, the Fire Lord's personal soldiers laughing to themselves as they start a fire. I watch as the Fire Lord pulls on a heavy cloak, saying something to his soldiers. I have my own problem though.

"I have to use the washroom," I mutter to Lee when he walks past me. He smirks and crosses his arms over his chest, lowering his voice to sound like an announcer, "Pick a bush, any bush." He says loud enough for everyone to turn and look at us.

My face reddens as I look around. He's right, so painfully right. Ty Lee crosses her arms, "We'll all have to do it at some point, hurry up."

I take the walk of shame into the thick forestry, bringing my weapons with me- just in case.

We eat a small meal of bread and some type of tea that warms my insides. I listen to the laughter and conversation of the others, allowing it to take my mind off things for a while. After lunch, we get back on our horses and take another five hour journey.

When we finally stop to rest, my entire body aches in a dull throb. We eat dinner over a fire, after I waste no time as I pull out the sleeping bag. Ty Lee lies next to me. We lie away from the other guys to maintain some form of distance from them. My eyes are heavier than ever, but I keep them open long enough until the others fall asleep.

Finally, I force my eyes shut.

I wake up before the sun rises, feeling somewhat well rested. I wrap up my sleeping bag and grab the cloak from the small box of supplies behind the saddle. I pull the cloak on top of my soldier suit, shivering without the sun being out to warm up the day. I walk over to my horse that is tied to a large tree. I stroke her mane, "You're going to have to compromise with me today, okay?" I say in a low voice.

The horse makes a soft sound, "Shh," I whisper, not wanting to wake the others.

"Talking to it won't make you able to ride it,"

My entire body clenches at Kol's voice. Nausea rises within me but I force myself to turn around and look him directly in his eyes. He stands with his arms crossed, watching me, taunting me, waiting for me to respond.

"Piss off Kol," I say, my voice filled with venom. He smirks slightly as his eyes drop to my cast.

"Did I do that?" He mocks a look of apology, "I guess sometimes I can't control my strength."

Sheer hatred fills me.

"Who was it anyways? Who helped you that night? Clearly you couldn't help yourself, so who was it?"

The anger and hatred makes my vision red, "Shut your mouth," I snap at him.

"Or _what_?" He asks, taking a step closer to me.

I swallow any amount of fear I have, "Or I'll rip your tongue right out of your mouth."

He ignores my comment, "Did someone help you out in the obstacle course as well? Colonial scum like you surely couldn't have done that on their own. What did you do? Open your legs to get an alibi."

My fist locks with his jaw and the anger is all I feel as I tackle him to the ground. I wrap my hands around his neck. _I am going to kill him_. I hold him down until I hear yelling and someone's pulling me off. I kick them back and punch Kol right in his mouth, his lip bursts open and blood splatters over his face. I'm yelling and screaming and kicking and punching until a pair of strong arms pull me away harder than I can resist.

I'm dragged away from him, I bare my teeth at Kol, "Mock me again, and I'll smash your face into the ground and bury it there!" I don't even care that I've awoken everyone.

When I finally catch my breath, I realize I'm still being held back. I watch as Lee and one of the other soldiers helps Kol off the ground. I'm being dragged away from everyone and I start screaming, "Let go of me!"

The person doesn't stop until we're standing in the forest. They finally let go and I glare as I meet his golden eyes, he glares right back at me, "What the _hell _was that?" The Fire Lord says, his voice straining his anger.

I want to punch him as well, "Should I demonstrate on you to show you what it was?" I snap at him and his nose flares.

"How cou-"

I cut him off, "Why would you even bring him and me on the same mission, are you _insane_?" I start walking away but he grabs my arm.

"You will not walk away from me while I'm speaking with you," He says, his voice restraining his anger.

My eyes narrow into slits, "You did this on purpose! What were you _thinking_ bringing us on the same mission! What the hell is wrong with _you_?" I yank my arm from his grasp and cross my arms over my chest.

"I brought him along to teach _you _a lesson." He finally says.

I scoff, "What? That I should kill before I think?"

He gives me an exasperated look, "That you'll have to deal with people who you don't want to deal with in your life. You can't just keep pretending he's not there, you're going to have to confront-"

"Well, thanks a lot _mother_, I'll make sure to do that," I snap at him before realizing I may have taken it too far. He is the Fire Lord after all. I take a deep breath, he hasn't scolded me ever since I started snapping at him, so why now? "Can I leave now?"

He gives me a condescending look, "You'll stay here until you calm down." He walks out, leaving me alone in the forest. I kick at the ground and take his advice.

When I'm 'calmed down' I walk back out of the forest, with my head held high. The others are already mounting their horses. One of the Fire Lord's soldiers- the kinder one- hands me the breakfast he saved for me.

I thank him I eat what's left of breakfast and mount my own horse- by myself this time. Kol has wiped the blood of his face, but his lip is still swollen and split. He catches my eye and I smirk at him.

The Fire lord says nothing to me as he mounts his own horse, "Nox, Liu- keep an eye on the insane one, she'll need to be watched," He says, talking to his soldiers loud enough for everyone to hear.

I shoot a glare at his back, but he pulls the reins and starts off in a trot.

Ty Lee pulls up beside me after a few hours of mindless travelling, "Are you okay?"

I smile devilishly at her and nod, "Better than okay."

She glances down at my casted arm, "It was Kol." She says, not asking it like a question, but saying it like a statement.

I nod, despite myself, "It doesn't matter anymore."

She seems to want to say something more, but she turns back and faces ahead without saying anything. I watch Fire Lord Zuko on his horse; he's obviously used to journeys like this, which isn't something I expected. His back is straight, his cloak flowing behind him in an expensive winding of fabric. I realize he didn't bother tying up his hair into his crown this morning, his raven black hair reaches just to his ears. He looks younger with his hair down.

We decide to take a forest route soon as the sun beats down on our heads. Although the air is cold, the sun is unforgiving in the fire nation and I can't help missing the climate of _my_ home.

That's when I hear the yells, they're loud and charging along with the hooves of horses. My mind scatters as my horse stops abruptly and I glance up to see Fire Lord who's turning his horse around, his face full of urgency, "It's an amubush!" He yells above the noise and before I know it, everyone is scattering.

I try to get my horse to move forward, but it seems paralyzed in the fear. Panic claws at my throat as I see soldiers dressed in green and black charge through the forest. I pull the reins desperately and my horse buckles and begins galloping. I pull the sword out of my sheath and hold it out in some sort of defence. A soldier falls off his horse and I can't identify if he's one of our own or the attackers.

A scream gets caught in my throat when I see Lee get shoved off his horse and he drops to the ground. I pull hard on my reins as the soldier in green and black pulls out a dagger. I'm lunging off my horse as the soldier buried the dagger, meant to go right through his chest, through his arm as I snatch Lee up and pull him up. Lee grunts loudly as he grasps my waist with his uninjured arm.

A soldier comes charging at us, but I pull out one of the daggers in my boot and chuck it hard at him, it hits him in the stomach and I look away as I hear his body fall. I hear Lee gasping for breath and I know we have to get out of here. I don't bother looking for the others and I whip the reins and we take off in a gallop.

We bolt away from the ambush but I hear the steady sound of hooves following behind us. I don't dare look back; I concentrate on going as fast as we can, my heart pounds hard against my chest. Lee is yelling something, but I'm not listening to him. I just have to get out of the forest. I pull the reins to the right and the horse takes a sharp turn to the left, in some attempt to get out of here.

An arrow whizzes right past my head and I gasp loudly and the horse stumbles slightly, Lee steadies me before I fall off.

"Katara- your dagger-"

I'm already pulling it out of my boot. I pass it back to Lee and try to ignore the groan as the dagger hits the soldier behind us. Lee reaches past me and grabs the reins and pulls the horse to an abrupt stop, sending me flying forwards and slamming hard into the horse's side.

The attacker's horse gallops past us in a blur- running wildly without its rider, narrowly missing us. I try to catch my breath when I hear Lee curse under his breath. I turn to face him, assuming we've made it far enough to take a break. His arm is bleeding freely and the dagger is still buried deep into the fleshy part near his arm, next to his armpit. I grab the handle of it, "I'm going to pull it out, okay?"

He swears loudly as I focus on keeping the angle straight. I pull it out in one swift, clean motion and his blood leaks down onto my white horse and my suit. He groans and presses his hand to the wound. When I hear more hooves, I don't hesitate as I pull out my dagger, just before I chuck it; Lee grabs my arm with his uninjured arm and the dagger clatters to the ground.

Fire Lord Zuko rides up through the forest, Ty Lee sitting behind him, grasping her thigh with one and wrapping an arm around his waist with her other. Kol, Nox and Liu follow closely behind him on their own horses, "Follow closely behind me, stay on your guard." He takes off in a gallop. I grab the dagger off the ground before pulling hard on the reins.

* * *

**What'd you think? I really hope you guys are enjoying this story so far, please continue reading & reviewing. **

**What did you think of the ambush scene? Do you like Zuko right now, the way he is in this specific story, do you like his character? **

**Please leave a review!**


	21. Chapter 21

**Enjoy!**

* * *

We travel in silence for almost an hour until, in the distance, I see Fire Lord Zuko's horse slow to a trot. When we catch up to him, he dismounts his horse. Lunch. No one says anything, I watch as Nox and Liu work on a fire. The Fire Lord's speaking to Ty Lee in a low voice, the side of her leg is injured, but not badly. From what I can see, it's just a dagger scrape. Her face is shamelessly red.

I turn to Lee who's examining his wound. I grab my flask of water and hold his arm in place as I slowly wash off his wound. The water that falls to the ground is pinkish form the blood. I wipe it thoroughly, ignoring Lee's string of curses. I grab the bindings from the small medicinal tin that was in our small packages at the back of our saddles.

"Straighten your arm- don't tense it like that-" He follows my instructions reluctantly. I carefully wrap his arm up and leave the sleeve of his suit up.

"Anything else doctor?"

I scowl at him, only someone like him could joke at a time like this. When I look up, I see the Fire Lord watching us. He looks away and walks over to the fire.

As the others eat lunch, I grab a small amount of bread and eat quietly. Everyone seems slightly shocked from the attack, even _Kol_ is silent. No one is injured except for Ty Lee and Lee. I ignore the thought of how many people we just killed back there.

"Who were they?" Ty Lee asks the Fire Lord after a while. I resist my urge to scowl at her as she sits beside him, her cheeks still flushed as she looks up at him.

He stares at the flames, his eyes bright, "I'm not sure, I'm guessing Earth Kingdom- considering the recent attacks, but I didn't have time to pay attention to any details about them."

I stand up, straightening out my sore legs, "I have to use the washroom." I say quietly to only Lee. He nods, "Don't forget your sword, princess."

I nod and go into the forest. When I'm out of sight of the others, I pull out the dagger that was buried into Lee's arm from the lining in my boots. I wipe the remaining blood on the soil, then grab my flask and wash it off with water.

I examine the engravings in the handle of it. It has silver marking deeply carved into it with an Earth Kingdom symbol. A small green circle surrounding a golden square. The Fire Lord was right about them being from the Earth Kingdom, but considering the way its crafted, and considering the smaller symbol with a golden fan- they were definitely Kyoshi warriors.

Gran gran would tell me stories of the Kyoshi warriors. How an Avatar originated from the Kyoshi Islands, her face painted in the traditional paint of the female warriors. When I was young, I was always in awe of the female warriors. Knowing how strong they all were- how fearless they were. Although the warriors were male, I can't help feel sick knowing what this war has turned them into. Mindless murderers, just like the rest of us.

I carefully bury the knife back into the lining of my boots. I don't know why I feel like not telling anyone who they really were, but I don't think against it as I stand up and walk back out the forest. The Fire lord's not there, he must have went to relieve himself, I look over to Ty Lee who's picking at the fabric around her wound.

I walk over and sit down beside her, "What happened?" I ask her.

She stares down at her wound- I was right; it's a simple dagger scratch gone too deep for its own good, "I don't know, I was riding and my horse was hit with multiple arrows," She frowns slightly, "I think something hit me in my leg and I fell off my horse. The Fire Lord pulled me onto his horse," She stops talking.

"You should clean it off," I say, reaching over and handing her my flask.

She nods and I watch as she washes water over the wound, gritting her teeth, "I was so scared, Katara," Her voice trembles slightly. I don't know how to be comforting so I just nod. I hand her the bindings, although I'm sure she doesn't need them, not nearly as much as Lee did.

"I didn't know what would happen- if anyone else was alive-" Her voice cracks and she looks away from me.

I realize the people from the rich sector of the Fire Nation have never been involved in this war. It's just been something that they hear through the street-to-street gossip every morning. It's not fair how some are affected directly and others aren't even aware of it, "I don't understand why they would ambush us," She says, tears lining her eyes.

She struggles with wrapping her wound, I hold out my hand, "Here- let me." She hands me the bindings and I carefully stretch it out and tell her to lift up her leg. I wrap it around her thigh and leg and secure it tightly.

She smiles softly and touches my hand and squeezes it, "Thank you Katara."

I try to smile back at her but I pull my hand away as I see the Fire Lord returning, his two soldiers following him. I look over at Lee as he talks to Kol, I hear them laugh loudly and I walk over to my horse. I pick up my flask and pour some water and wash off the blood that stains her back and sides.

"We're heading out, pack up!" The Fire Lord calls out.

I mount my horse, focusing on keeping my leg strong as I swing the other one over. By the end of this journey, I'll probably have mastered mounting horses. I look over at Lee, "You coming?"

He nods, "Can I sit in the front?" He asks me.

I shake my head.

"But its embarrassing sitting behind you,"

I shrug, "Suit yourself." My horse turns. I hear Lee sigh, "Hold up, princess." He mounts onto the horse behind me, "You're far too stubborn for your own good." He mutters.

I can't help watching as the Fire Lord helps Ty Lee mount the horse. I scowl; she's perfectly capable of mounting a horse. Ty Lee smiles and says something; he just nods, his face expressionless, not turning to face her.

I look away from them as I pull the reins, preparing for another few hours of sore legs and hearing Lee's complaints.

The ride is fairly quiet- except for Lee, but more relaxing than most of the rides so far. The sun begins to set, covering the sky in a fire like impression. It looks like someone took a large paintbrush and stroked every warm colour across their canvas- the sky.

My eyes begin to grow heavy but I force them awake. When the sky loses its entire colour and turns a dark blue, we finally stop for the night. We've obviously been travelling through a path where no one lives, throughout this entire journey we've probably only seen one or two people- other than the attackers.

But I like how we're separated from the rest of the world for these three days- it's relaxing in a way. It takes Lee three seconds flat to grab his sleeping bag and jump off the horse, curling up into a ball on the floor, "Wake me up when someone's' made dinner," He says between a yawn.

I dismount the horse and tie the reins to the nearest tree. I pet her mane and wrap the bag of her food around her neck. I walk over to the others. I watch as the Fire Lord flicks his wrist and my eyes widen as he holds a flame. He directs it for the wood. Soon enough, there's a warm, blazing fire. I shouldn't be surprised that he's a fire bender, I should have already known that, but I wonder why I've never seen him use it until now. Nox warms up the thick soup over the fire in a large pot.

I sit on the ground, my legs crossed, close to the fire to warm me up. It gets fairly chilly during the long nights- despite the hot mornings. I hold out my hands near the flames, the Fire Lord sits directly across me, Ty lee by his side. She looks more like a lapdog than a soldier, I watch her in distaste.

Nox passes around the soup; I nudge Lee hard in his side. He rubs his eyes and grabs the soup, devouring it. Kol sits next to Liu, talking to him. I would still not mind pouring the boiling soup down his back, everything he does irritates me.

I wash my bowl with the water in my flask and then place it in the bag of supplies next to Nox. He doesn't talk a lot, Nox. But he seems to somehow appreciate my company, sending me small smiles every once in a while. Liu, on the other hand still sends me glares. I smile at Nox, "Thanks for the food."

He just nods.

I grab my sleeping bag and lie down far away from everyone else. I look up at the sky; the stars seem more noticeable somehow out here in the middle of nowhere. Somewhere between staring at the stars and thinking about killing the fire lord, I fall asleep.

I wake up in the middle of the night, not even near the signs of daylight yet, the stars still shine brightly in the sky. I lay in the sleeping bag, trying to get back to sleep, but my eyes feel far too well rested to go back to sleep.

I silently slip out of my sleeping bag, grabbing my sword and pulling on my boots. I pull out my cloak and wrap it around myself as I walk into the forest. I walk for a long time, until I'm positive no one will ever be able to see me or find me.

I don't know what possesses me to do it, despite knowing it's the greatest risk I could ever possibly take, but I find the smallest puddle of water close to me and crouch down above it. Maybe it's because I saw the Fire Lord fire bend, maybe it's just because I miss feeling the energy rush through me. I take a deep breath, holding it, listening for any sound of anyone having followed me. I release my breath and flick my wrist, the water rises up, I hold my fingers in my place, holding it freestanding in the air, I release my fingers and it makes a quiet splash as it falls back in the puddle.

I use both hands and push all the water in the puddle out and splash it against a tree. I move my fingers and pull the spilled water out of the ground and back in the puddle. It's hard to believe how much I've missed water bending. How much I've longed to feel the ease in my body as the water flows around me.

I examine my blistered hands, from holding the reins. Many of the blisters have been ripped open. I take one hand and bring up the water, pressing it gently to the wounded area in the palm of my hands. I hold my breath, focusing all my attention on the wound. I release my hand and the water gently laps away, leaving behind my bare palm, rid of the blisters.

I clench and unclench it and a grin spreads across my face.

I pull the sleeves of my suit back and examine the cuts and bruises. I heal every cut I can find on my body, except for the heavy bruising on my back. I can't reach it to focus the healing there.

I stand up, feeling abnormally stronger. I walk through the forest until I see the small light of the fire in the darkness. I stand on the tips of my toes as I try and creep back into my sleeping bag.

"Where were you?" His voice is hushed but still loud enough to make me jump back. I grip the fabric at my chest as my heart pounds against it. I look up at Fire Lord Zuko, standing in front of me, his arms crossed over his chest.

He couldn't have seen me- he didn't see me. I give him a look, "Do I have to ask your permission to relieve myself now?" I ask sarcastically, ignoring my racing heart.

He narrows his eyes but doesn't say anything to me; he simply walks past me, picks up his sword and begins walking into the forest, "Where are _you_ going?" I ask him.

He stops walking but doesn't face me, "Training," is all he says as he walks into the forest. I can't help waiting and then following him into the forest. I stay as quiet as I can, crouching behind the forestry, following him until he finally stops walking.

I keep my head down as I push behind a few leaves to get a better view of him. He throws his cloak aside and unsheathes his sword. I watch, in surprise, as he spreads the sword into two halves of a whole. He takes a short stance before he lunges forward, pulling one sword out ahead the other. His arms move gracefully as he strikes at a tree. He's obviously been through a lot of training.

His entire body seems to be involved with each step he takes, moving as if he's dancing. He turns and strikes hard, slashing the tree in a long angled line. He swings, hard and fast. I watch his feet as he turns and strikes again. He keeps his balance on the balls of his feet, to ensure the power all going into the strike.

I watch as the muscles in his arms and back contract. I wonder why it's even necessary for a Fire Lord to be trained to this extent when he's always around soldiers. It seems an unnecessary waste of time.

"While you're here, you may as well practice with me," I gasp loudly as his voice comes between heavy breathing. I feel my entire face redden as I get up from behind the bushes, "As one of your soldiers- it's my responsibility to protect you."

He laughs and stops slashing the tree long enough to face me, "Let's sees if you're capable of doing even that." He motions towards the tree. I withdraw my sword from its sheath and look over to him; he just nods, waiting for me to strike. I take a deep breath, take a step and then strike, in one swift and clean motion. I look over at the Fire Lord.

"I didn't tell you to stop," He says to me.

"I didn't realize you were training me," I retort, but turn back to the tree. I strike again, again, each strike more powerful than the next.

"You're stepping before you strike," He says to me, "It's wasting your energy."

I strike again, unconsciously taking a step before I strike. I try again but stumble as I become too conscious of my steps. He stands beside me, holding out his sword in demonstration, "Focus more on your back leg, it should take the step right after you strike, while your right leg should step as you strike. The power of the strike comes more from your legs than your arms."

I take a stance and he nudges my left foot with the side his foot, "This one needs to be further back."

I scowl but do as he says; I strike, thinking about my back leg. It steps right after I strike, just as he said. I'm not sure if it makes the difference in power as he said it would, but I try again.

"Don't hold your handle too tightly-"

I roll my eyes, "I didn't realize there was so much I had to improve."

He crosses his arms, staring at the tree, "There's always room for improvement."

I cross my arms, copying his stance, "I doubt you'd say the same thing about yourself."

He smiles arrogantly, "I'm an exception." He nods towards the tree, "Again, keep your arms relaxed this time."

We emerge when the sun begins to rise. The others still aren't awake, but I walk over to my horse, ignoring the Fire Lord's presence once again. I nudge Lee hard, because I want someone else to be awake. He snores loudly and then rubs his eyes, "What do you want?" He asks me, annoyed.

"Wake up," I walk past him, "Or you're not getting breakfast."

He looks up, shocked, gritting his teeth from the pain in his arm. Nox has just woken up, I watch him as he begins to warm the bread over the fire, "You're a cruel, cruel person." He says before lying back down. I sit down next to him and wrap my arms around my knees, "How's your arm?" I ask him.

He shrugs with one shoulder, "Better than yesterday."

I could easily heal him, but I don't think twice about the idea that could have me killed in a few seconds flat, "Do you think we'll reach the colonies today?"

His eyes soften, "I hope so; my butt can't deal with any more horse riding."

I smile.

He looks over at me, "Aren't you from the Southern colonies?" His voice is softer than I've ever heard it.

I nod, "My entire family's there."

He sits up slightly, combing through the mess of hair, "I'm sorry."

I shrug and get up, feeling slightly nauseous from all the lies, "Get up, breakfast is ready."

I walk over to Nox and sit down next to the fire. I watch as Ty lee gets up, yawning and stretching out her arms. When she catches my eye, she waves at me. I smile slightly and wave back. Nox hands me the bread and the cup of tea and I thank him.

I watch as the others wake up and lean back, propped up on my elbows. There's not an uncomfortable silence between us, but I can't help wanting to talk to him. Still, I say nothing.

After breakfast, we all pack up and get ready for another long day.

"If we have no more…disruptions, we'll probably arrive to the boundaries of the southern colonies by nightfall," The Fire Lord tells us all after mounting his horse. He says something to Ty Lee, a question. She replies, touching her leg. He grabs one of her arms and pulls her up onto the horse in a way that seems effortless.

Lee mounts the horse behind me, "Are you sure you don't want to switch positions?"

I turn to him and nod, "You know what, yeah. You sit in the front."

He gives me a look, "You sure, princess?"

I nod and climb off and then back on as he sits in front of me, he looks back at me, "What changed your mind?"

I shrugged, "I'll get to sleep while you're riding."

He laughs and turns back around. That's partly the reason, the other part is not being forced to watch Ty Lee grasping on to the Fire Lord. I settle in behind Lee as we start off in a gallop. My back, legs and hands ache from all the travelling, but I've grown accustom to being in pain somewhere since I've arrived in the fire nation.

Somewhere along the ride, I fall asleep. I wake up as I feel Lee moving around, my eyes feel heavy as I look up. I shiver as I realize I'm soaked, right down to my boots. My hair is matted to my face. I look up and realize it's raining, harder than I've ever seen before. Lee fidgets around me and pulls out a blanket, he hands it to me, realizing I'm awake. I thank him and wrap it around my shoulders.

He grabs the cloak and wraps it around the both of us, covering my head so I have to peek through the opening to look around. I haven't seen rain in over a year. It rains in the water tribe, but very scarcely. I hold my hand out and watch as my dry sleeve spots with raindrops, and within seconds, its soaked. I grin, feeling childish, but I can't help it.

It's still raining when we stop for lunch, so there's no point in trying to start a fire, even in the thick forestry we found, the rain somehow manages to slip through the leaves. We eat the cold bread with a small amount of butter. While everyone takes their rounds to relieve themselves, I slip out of the forest.

I know if I tried, I could control the rain, but I don't take the risk.

I look up at the darkened sky as the rain pours down on my face. A laugh bubbles up my throat and I hold my arms up high. My entire body is sopping wet and each step I take makes my feet slosh in my boots. I hold my head back and open my mouth, like I used to as a child when it snowed in the water tribe.

I ignore the feeling of immaturity as I begin running through the rain, it feels nice to have some sort of a shower after all. I pull the hair tie out of my hair and comb my fingers through my soaking hair, which sticks to every part of my face. I begin sprinting far away from the forest and then fast, as if racing the rain.

Someone yells my name and there's a powerful wind that makes me stumble slightly, the rain seems to be beating even harder. I squint through the powerful rain and make out the Fire Lord yelling my name. I sigh and run over to him, he's almost completely dry and when I near him, he scowls.

"What are you _doing? _You're going to catch a cold!" He shakes his head, pulling me into the shielded forestry, "What were you thinking?" He bombards me with questions as I start to shiver from the cold wind that rushes past my soaking body. His face softens and he just shakes his head again, treating me like a child, he guides me back into the forest.

I don't want him to treat me like a child.

I'm shivering hard by the time we reach the others. He glances at Ty Lee, "Help her dry off, we don't have any extra clothing right now." I watch as he begins digging through his own package at the back of his saddle. I feel like a scolded adolescent as Ty lee walks up to me. She grabs a cloak as I twist my hair, watching as the water drips to the ground.

She pulls my sleeves up and makes an attempt to dry off my clothes; it doesn't make much of a difference. The Fire Lord walks up behind Ty Lee and hands me a cloak, "This is all we have left that's dry." He gives me an exasperated look before turning back to mount his horse. I pull the cloak on over my sopping clothes and pull the hood on.

I can't help shaking as I walk over to the horse. Lee laughs hard when he sees me. I climb on behind him, trying to stop my body from shaking and my teeth from chattering. Lee glances back at me, feeling me shaking, "You okay?"

I nod but I wrap my arms around him to try and get some sort of body heat. The soaking cloak that shielded us before is brought over my head again, and this time I don't peek out of it. I try to concentrate on getting my body to stop shaking, but it's no use.

It seems to only be getting colder. My clothes seem to freeze against my skin instead of drying off. I pull my arms away from Lee and wrap the cloak tighter around myself.

We travel for hours and hours and suddenly I can't help feeling nauseous. My entire body feels hot- so hot and I'm boiling. I tear the cloak off of myself so suddenly, Lee jumps, "Princess?" My body breaks out into sweat and it's so hot- I can't breathe. I loosen the buttons on the collar of my suit. I roll up my sleeves, feeling as if I'm being engulfed in flames.

"Lee-" I gasp and shove him away from me, to try and get some space- some feeling of coolness. It's so hot- it's too hot. I'm fanning at my face with both hands.

He pulls the reins and the horse comes to an abrupt stop, and I realize it's still raining. I tear the cloak that shields us both off of me and get off the horse. I need to get into the rain, it'll cool me off. I jump off, but Lee grabs my arm, his expression bewildered, the others stop around us. The rain soaks me once more but my insides seem to erupt in flames.

The only thing I see is Lee lunging towards me before my knees buckle.

I wake up to hearing voices, obviously not bothering to be quiet.

"I _knew _she'd catch a cold-"

"This jeopardizes our timing-"

"The timing doesn't matter-"

"Why would she even be out there-"

"Idiot-"

My eyes flicker open at the last word I hear, just as it slips out of Kol's mouth. I shoot him a glare and he's taken aback by my sudden awakening. I start shivering again and Ty Lee leans over me, "Katara, can you hear me?"

"She has a cold, she's not deaf," I hear the Fire Lord say.

I try to get up but I'm not even sure if I'm cold or hot anymore. I just want to lie wherever I'm lying. I try to shut my eyes, but Lee nudges me with his arm softly, "Don't you ever do that again, you freaked the _hell _out of me!"

"Well can we go now, she's obviously better," I hear Liu say. I know I'm not better, but whoever said I jeopardized the timing was right- I did. I manage to sit up, my entire body is sleek in sweat, or is it rain? But we're in a thick forest again, and the rain must have stopped, because my clothes are almost completely dry.

I try to get up but Lee touches my arm, "Where do you think you're going?"

I shoot him a look, "It's just a cold, I'm fine. I can still travel."

"You're in no condition to travel," I look up at the Fire Lord as he speaks. I stand up on my shaking legs, "I'm fine." My insides still feel far too hot, but I ignore it, "I can still ride a horse."

The others look around at each other and we all end up looking at the Fire Lord, he shakes his head, "You'll rest until you feel better." He turns to leave.

"I _do_ feel better." I say to him. Liu touches the handle of the sword and I stick my tongue at him. He gets up but the Fire Lord gives him a warning look. He turns to face me, "Until you look better."

"That won't be happening anytime soon," I hear Kol mutter, loud enough for everyone to hear. I don't look back at him. Fighting him while I'm sick won't make me feel any better. Despite everything, my face burns.

"Shut up Kol," Fire Lord Zuko snaps, he turns to look at me again, "If you want to kill yourself, be my guest." He turns around again and walks over to his horse, his cloak following behind him.

Lee gives me a look, "Are you sure, princess, you look really pale."

I roll my eyes and walk over to my horse. My legs shake slightly and my throat feels as if knives are being scraped past it each time I swallow. Lee mounts hesitantly and then helps me up. I rest my head on his back.

I open my eyes as the Fire Lord drapes a dry cloak around my shoulders, he turns away, without his own cloak. I touch the cloak and don't argue. I press my head against Lee's back again as I shiver violently. I try to ignore the pounding in my head as we start moving again. I pull the cloak closer to me and take a deep breath.

* * *

**Tell me what you thought! Do you guys have any future predictions? Please leave a review telling me what you thought of this chapter. **


	22. Chapter 22

**Enjoy :) **

* * *

Lee shakes me awake, "We're almost here." My head throbs as I look up and around. We're passing through an old worn down village. I realize this is the same route Chanzai and I took to get to the capital. I wonder if he's still here. I try not to look at the few villagers that walk around at this time. I keep my eyes lowered until we reach the barrier for the Southern Colonies. There are only two guards standing there and they let us through wordlessly at the sight of the Fire Lord.

The same overwhelming feeling fills me as I see the state of the village. I can't help feeling my throat go raw- even with my cold. I swallow, ignoring the scraping of knives in my throat. The small houses and stores are even more broken and worn down then the last time I saw them.

Hundreds of villagers are asleep on the sides of the broken down paths that are supposed to be roads, many of the woman, holding their small children tightly. My eyes sting as I hear a baby crying in the distance. I look over at the Fire Lord, I can just see the right side of his face. His jaw is clenched tightly and his eyes wide.

He has no right to be surprised- this is his entire fault. A deep anger surges from within me and Lee nudges me slightly and I realize I'm digging my fingernails into his shoulder. I mumble some sort of an apology and pull my hand away from his shoulder.

An elderly woman looks over at us in the distance and waves at Fire Lord Zuko. He pulls his reins and we all follow. He's off his horse faster than my horse can even slow. I find it hard to watch as the woman's arms shake as she touches the Fire lord's head. He bows down slightly, to reach her level. Could he know her?

We tie our horses to any standing spot we can find and she leads us all into the small shack that is half-standing. She speaks to the Fire Lord in a language I can't understand. I suddenly realize that if I came from here- I should know how to speak this language. Panic spreads within me. Fire Lord Zuko responds in the language she speaks.

I watch as they talk for a few minutes longer. She then touches his head again in some form of respect and turns to the rest of us, "This is all we have for you to stay here," She says, slowly, in a thick accent, "I apologize." She bows to all us and wobbles away. I watch as she leaves, and I try not to think about where she will be staying the night.

It's a small room and we all set up our sleeping bags in a way that will all give us the most space. My head feels heavy as I lie down and I fall asleep listening to the breathing around me.

The Fire Lord is already sitting up when I stir awake. He's lying fairly close to me, diagonal to me. He catches my eye and holds the gaze until he looks down at the floor between us.

I want to ask him what he's thinking, but I already know what he's thinking. He didn't know things were as bad as they really are. He slowly gets up and I'm left in shock when he turns around near the door, waiting for me to follow him. I slowly get up, and carefully pass through the others, careful not to step on anyone. My heart beats against my chest hard.

When we're outside, my throat dries and I cough into my sleeve. My fever broke sometime yesterday, but I still feel sick. I look up at the Fire Lord and he stares out into the distance, "How are you feeling?" He asks me.

I don't reply, just shrug in response.

His voice is thick, "I don't mean about your fever, I mean about this," He motions in front of him at the torn down village. Emotion clogs my throat and I look away from him. I don't have to fake anything. It doesn't matter if these people aren't my family, they're _suffering. _And I _am _human.

I'm not even sure how to respond to the Fire Lord, the one who's been carrying out this war, the one who hasn't bothered to stop it.

For a long time, he doesn't say anything. He looks around, his eyes filled with a type of distress I've never seen before, "I'm sorry Katara." He says my name softly for the first time and it rolls off his tongue naturally.

I stiffen as he turns to face me. I don't look at him, "What are you going to do?" I ask him.

He doesn't move, "Financial support is all I can do."

I blink hard as the anger surges through me, "You know you can fix this-" He looks at me, "You _know _ending this war is in your hands-"

"Kata-"

"How can you look at all this and still not want to end it?" My voice doesn't belong to me as it trembles, "What type of leader _are_ you?" He flinches as if I've slapped him. I turn away from him and crouch down, wrapping my arms around my knees, resting my head on my knee.

I want to cry- to scream- to hurt him, but all I can do is tremble. Why doesn't he understand how simple it could be? How simple it could be to put a stop to this? He touches my shoulder but I shrug him off. The door flies open and then slams shut and I look up only when I'm sure he's gone.

Soon enough, the old woman brings small bowls of porridge to the room right as I walk in. The Fire Lord doesn't look up at me; he sits next to Liu and Ty Lee and sips his porridge. I eat it graciously, the warmth of it settling my throat slightly. The old woman watches us eat; smiling slightly, thoughtfully.

When I'm done, she walks over to me and holds out her hand for my empty bowl. I stand up and shake my head, "I'll do it," I say quietly. She smiles warmly at me, her eyes lighting up and I remember what Chanzai told me about hope.

I help the old woman bring the bowls outside. She washes it in a small stream of unclean water. I focus on scrubbing the bowls thoroughly.

"Thank you," She says with her accent, "It's rare that I see people as kind as you."

I have a strange urge to hug her.

I straighten up and she gets up with a struggle. I steady her as she stands up. She turns to leave, but I touch her arm, "I was wondering if I could ask you a question?" I say quietly, my voice almost a whisper.

She turns around and nods, "Of course."

"Do you- do you know a man named Chanzai?" I watch her and her eyes fill with tears and something in me collapses. She's suddenly grabbing my arm and pulling me away to follow her. She holds my shoulder against a wall, "How…how do you know him?" Her voice shakes.

I breathe hard, "I- I visited here once before, not long ago." I keep my voice hushed.

She watches me as tears slide down her wrinkled face, "He was my son."

The fact that she used the word _was _makes my throat clog up in sentiment and I'm blinking hard. Again and again, even though there's no tears. He couldn't be dead. The light I saw in his eyes seemed to never be able to be put out. I shake my head as I slowly wrap my arms around her and she keeps her tears controlled but she holds me tightly. She pulls away from me and wipes her eyes, "It's you isn't it?" She whispers.

I watch her.

She touches my arm, "It's you, isn't it?" She repeats her question, "Chanzai told me about you- this entire town has heard of you."

I have no idea what to say. I hope she's not talking about what I think she's talking about. My heart pounds fast and hard.

"You mustn't tell _anyone_. You can't trust anyone, do you understand? You can't tell your friends, your maids, your fellow soldiers. No one," She whispers, "You're our last hope for peace in this world. We've been waiting for you to arrive."

I'm pulling away from her. How could she greet the Fire Lord like that when she's supporting his murder?

"There's someone here for you-"

I look over at her trying to collect my thoughts.

"He's been waiting for you to come here- he knew you would come."

My mind races until it stops on the one person that would come. Jet. It _has_ to be him. I look up at her desperately, "Where- where is he?"

She looks me in the eyes, "He's been staying near the docks-"

"I have to see him," I cut her off, "Please- how do I get there?"

She shakes her head, "I'll take you to him, but please, be patient child. You have to wait."

I try to calm every part of my body as she leads me back into the shack. The others are taking turns using the washroom. I enter the room feeling a mixture of emotions pulsing through my body. I can't even look at Fire Lord Zuko, the disgust that fills my stomach makes it impossible to stay in the same room as him. He's the reason Chanzai's dead. Luckily, he walks out of the shack, and I stay behind and the others follow him out, except for Lee.

Lee walks up to me, carrying his folded sleeping bag, "What's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost."

I shake my head and wrap my arms around my knees as I always do when I need some sort of support. I shouldn't feel this…alone, after Chanzai died. I knew him for about three days, but it was long enough for me to believe every word about hope he said, it was long enough for my body to shake now as I think about him lying on the ground, lifeless- hopeless.

I swallow and my throat scrapes roughly, "Katara?" Lee crouches down next to me, "Are you okay?"

I'm holding myself tighter and tighter until I'm holding my breath. I wish I could squeeze myself out of existence, tight enough to make my breathing stop. It's a wicked thought, but I can't help thinking it. It's not fair, _none_ of this fair.

Ty Lee suddenly rushes into the shack, obviously not aware of anything around her, she grabs my arm, "Katara, you _really _want to come and see this."

I pull my arm away from her, but she pulls me up strongly and aggressively. I shoot her a glare, but she drags me out, "Stop- I don't want-"

"Just shut up and listen Katara,"

Lee follows behind us both as I protest loudly, "Where are you even dragging me?"

She holds a finger to her lips and drags me through the streets swiftly. There's a crowd of villagers standing but I can't see what they're looking at. I can't help being curious and I stand on the tips of my feet, but when the villagers sees us they leave a respectable space for us to cross through to the front.

Ty Lee gives me a shy smile, a shadow of a dimple of her left cheek, when I finally glance up, I see the Fire Lord standing on a raised platform. Nox and Liu standing beside him, their heads held high, Liu has his hand on his sword, waiting for some sort of danger to occur. Nox is watching the Fire Lord, his fce expressionless. Kol glances at us as we reach where he's standing, near the front.

The crowd is erupted in murmurs and whispers. I see Chanzai's mom standing across from us, when I meet her eyes, she smiles weakly at me. I can't help wonder how it's possible for someone who's lost so much to still be able to smile and keep the warmth in her eyes. I glance away from her.

The Fire Lord raises up his right hand, for silence. I watch as everyone stirs into a tight silence.

"Villagers of the Southern Colonies, mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, whoever you may be- you have all lost or know someone who's lost a family member- a loved one-someone you care about," I want to look away because his words are sickening me, but I don't.

"It's a fact that we'll all have to face. It's something that I have my sincere condolences for. I apologize to every single one of you for the loss you've been in- for recently and through all these past years. And I can't stress how sincere my condolences are."

"I know how you all must feel," And his eyes bright with an emotion I've never seen before- in anyone's eyes, "I know how lost, broken and hopeless you all feel. There's nothing left here, many of you have lost the people you called your family and many of you have lost the places you've called your home."

I'm trying to ease my way out of the crowd because my chest feels tight, but Ty Lee's grasping my arm. I hiss at her- trying not to attract any attention, but her eyes stay glued to the Fire Lord.

"And I know you have all come to realize, there's not much left here to do, nothing can fix what's happened- what's happening. But I can assure you, I am trying my absolute hardest to get you all the proper care and medical attention you need, I'm providing you with as much as financial support as is needed to fix this place up."

I dig my fingernails into Ty Lee's arm and she flinches, giving me a look, I pull my arm out of her grasp and try easing my way through the crowd, but it's too tightly packed and no one seems to be hearing me as I try to excuse myself.

"Together- as one nation, we can rebuild this place; we can fix your homes- repair what's been broken. And I know I can't replace the family that's been lost for many of you with any amount of money or labour, but I can promise you I will do my hardest to try and help you all."

Screw politeness. I elbow one of the villagers hard enough for them to flinch, shoot me a glare and move aside. I push my way through the crowd, well aware of the fact that the Fire Lord's watching me leave- _good. _

When I'm far away enough that I don't hear the words coming out of his mouth, I lean my head against a tilting home. I shut my eyes. The fact that I could actually see the hope of repairing in everyone's eyes makes me want to scream. The fact that the Fire Lord had a way with words, the fact that everyone believed him, the fact that he spoke with such blatant lies makes me want to kill him.

_How could he lie to everyone? To all these villagers? How could he?_ I repeat the questions over and over in my head until it throbs from every emotion I've been holding back.

When it's time for lunch- I trail behind Chanzai's mother, because I'd rather not speak to anyone. She doesn't say much to me as I help her out with preparing the food and then washing the dishes back in the dirty stream of water. My calloused hands rub away the excrements from the bowl of lumpy food that was given to us for dinner.

"The injuries that happened- where are the hospitals?" I ask her.

She looks up to me, "It's not very far from here."

I look at her, into her eyes that make me see the resemblance between her and Chanzai so utterly painfully, "Do you think I could…visit there?"

She smiles again and nods.

When we arrive at the small room, covered with old torn tarp, the smell of blood is fresh in the air. I can't help it as I cover my nose with my hand, the smell is turning my stomach. There are hundreds of people, lying on small sheets of cloth, waiting to be tended to. I look at a man who lies with flies in his eyes, his right leg chopped off right to his thigh, the wound has been wrapped, but not nearly as it should have been wrapped up.

There are so many wounds and only a few old women rush around, tending to them.

I could heal them all with water bending and if not heal at least lessen the pain- I know I can. But I push the thought out of my mind before it paralyzes me. I pull my hand away and hold my breath as Chanzai's mother leads me through the room, she points out a few injuries, telling me who the person is, how they got it, if they're receiving treatment.

I can hear infants crying in the distance, one of them near me. I walk over, carefully avoiding the people lying on the ground. A woman holds her child, her eyes shut, the child has a large burn covering half his body. My heart beat races as I look at the child, how long has he been suffering?

I look desperately as a nurse near me feeds some sort of medicine to an elderly man, half of it spills out of his mouth and his hands tremble as he tries to get the nurse to stop, but she forces the medicine down, "Please-" My voice sounds strangled and the nurse looks up at me, "The child needs help- he's got a serious burn and if you don't-"

Her tired eyes make me shut my mouth. They must have been working non-stop ever since the attack happened.

"I can help," I say quietly, Chanzai's mother hands me the tonic and I scoop the child with my hands. His mother releases him without any struggle. I gently wipe his burnt flesh with the tonic, gritting my teeth as he begins wailing. I wrap the cleanest bandages I can find around him and hand him back to his mother whose eyes fill with tears, threating to spill over.

Chanzai's mother tries to lead me out, but I shake my head, "I can help them, please-"

She gently touches my cheek and smiles, thanking me in more ways than one. Warming my heart in more ways than one.

When I return back to the shack that night, my mind fills with images of all the burnt, calloused, bleeding flesh. The Fire Lord looks up at me right as I enter, there's some blood caked in my fingernails that isn't my own. The others are getting into their sleeping bag, but he looks wide awake.

It takes him two long strides to be standing in front of me, "Where were you?" His voice is low and quiet.

I look away from him, crossing my arms so he won't catch sight of my blood stained hands, "It's none of your business."

I'm testing his patience, and I have been since the moment he walked through the doors to the fields, "You're here to accompany _me. _Whether you like it or not," His golden eyes skim over my features in the faint darkness.

"Well thanks for pointing that out-" I try to pass by him, but he grabs my arm and I'm about to open my mouth and snap at him, but he turns my arm in his hand and examines my hands, still covered in blood stains, "Where have you been?" His voice is serious suddenly, his eyebrows drawn in.

I try to pull my hand away, but he holds it with a firm grip. His hand pulsates heat into my frozen fingers, "Where have you been?" He repeats again, a bit louder this time. When I realize the others are watching, my face heats up.

"I was carrying out an assassination," I say sarcastically, I yank my arm away from him and stride past him without another word. I slip into my sleeping bag, making sure to be as far away from the others as I can get.

"_Katara, call your brother, it's getting late." I stare up into mother's eyes, she's crying. Why is she crying? By the way her voice trembles I know the red soldiers will be coming soon. _

_I nod and say nothing as I run out the tent, the cold air makes me shiver but I pull the hood of my parka on. If the red soldiers are coming, where is dad? Did mom already tell him they were coming? How does she even know they're coming? When I look outside, everyone is busy in their everyday lives. I look over at Sokka playing with Chan. _

_When Chan sees me, he smiles and waves. I wave back and run over to them, "Sokka, mom says to come inside! I think the red soldiers are coming again." Sokka looks at me and his face looks sad. I wish the red soldiers wouldn't always come; they make everyone in the village sad. _

"_Chan you should go back to your mom as well, she'll be scared alone." _

_He looks at me and crosses his arms, "I'm old enough to fight the red soldiers." _

_I don't like that word- I never have. Why did we even have to fight? I clench my fists, "No you're not, and I've beaten you in sparring a hundred times."_

"_Katara, we don't have time for you guys to argue. I'm going to find dad, go back and stay with mom." He runs off before I can say anything. I stomp my foot, I always have to stay with mom. It's not fair. Chan ruffles my hair before running off behind Sokka. _

_I stomp my way back to our tent, when I enter, the candles are blown out and I can't see anything in the darkness. I see the shape of mother's body lying in the bed. I climb in next to her like I always do. She doesn't wrap her arms around me like she always does. _

_I grumble and grab her arms and pull them around myself. I snuggle closer to her, but she doesn't react. She must already be asleep. I shut my eyes and wonder why there's a weird smell in the air. I slowly get up and wonder why I'm sweating; I'm covered in something thick and kind of sticky. _

_I can't see what I'm covered in, I shake mom awake as I try to look at my hand. Mother still doesn't wake up. I scramble out of the bed and reach for one of the matches to light a flame. Mother always tells me to ask Sokka or dad before I light it, but I try it on my own. It takes me a few times before the torch lights up. _

_I glance down at my hands, they're covered completely in blood. My entire body is covered in blood. I'm screaming for mom to wake up. I'm hurt somewhere, I'm bleeding but I can't find where it's hurting. I glance at mother and shake her awake, "Mom! I'm bleeding!" _

_And in the faint torchlight, as I turn her face to the side, it's limp. A large gash is cut right across her throat, spilling her blood faster than I can stop it. I turn her body and there are three large slashes, starting from her chest down to across her stomach, side by side. _

_I scream until my ears pop from the pressure of my screams as I realize it's not my blood. _

I wake up screaming, thrashing, my arms flying everywhere. I scream louder and try to wipe the blood away, but it just spreads. I scream louder until my throat becomes harsh.

"Katara!" Lee is crouched beside me, shaking my shoulders, "Katara! It's just a dream!"

My scream chokes in my throat as I realize I'm covered in sweat- not blood. I want to hold on to something as a sob chokes in my throat. I place my hand over my pounding heart. _It was just a dream. Just a dream. _

It's been ten years since I awoke covered in blood that didn't belong to me.

My entire body shakes and beads of sweat slide down the side of my head. Lee is still watching me, his eyes widened. He slowly touches my hand, "God above, are you okay?"

I haven't had that dream in four years.

He holds my hand, squeezing it tightly, "Katara?" The others are up and I look away from all of them. No one will understand what I went through ten years ago. No one will _ever _understand how it feels to wake up covered in your mother's blood.

* * *

The Fire Lord watches her from afar. He had never been more terrified when he awoke to her shrieks. He had never heard the sound of someone's strangled scream so desperately before. His stomach twisted when he watched her bat at herself, wiping off something that wasn't even there. He lunged to get to her, but Lee had already reached her.

He watches as Lee shakes her shoulders and her eyes fill with a type of terror he'd never seen in anyone's eyes before.

For the first time in so long- he feels scared as he watches her attempt to calm down.

* * *

**Leave a review telling me what you thought! **

**What did you think of the short perspective change? It won't be happening a lot, just in specific moments in the story! Thanks for reading & please leave a review!**


	23. Chapter 23

**This is a really important chapter, there's a lot of plot building, so enjoy! And please tell me what you thought!**

* * *

I don't go to sleep for the rest of the night, in fear of having the dream reoccur. I lay in the sleeping bag, staring up at the empty shafting of the shack. I trace my fingers over the fire nation choker I wear and wish I was wearing my mother's choker. How could I leave behind something so important?

When it's finally time to get up, I realize I _have_ to see Jet today. My mind is more strewn than it has ever been and I need someone to clear up this entire mission for me- and if there's one person that can do that- it's Jet.

I get up and long to take a shower, my entire body reeks from the days of travelling and sleeping in bags. The Fire Lord left somewhere early in the morning- he never seems to get enough sleep. I wait until Cho- Chanzai's mother walks into the room to deliver breakfast before getting up. I help her as she distributes the bowl of porridge to the others, my face is hot as I hand it over to them, I'm hoping everyone somehow forgot about last night.

Still, Kol gives me a knowing smirk and I anticipate whether or not I should drop the porridge over his head.

I follow Chanzai's mother out the door of the shack and help her with the dishes. I'm quiet for a while before I can't contain myself, "Do you think- do you think we could go today?"

Her eyes are cast off as she glances at me, "You would have to ask the Fire Lord-"

"I don't have to ask him _anything_," Irritation fills me.

She shakes her head, "You're here because of him- so I will not take you unless you ask him." Despite supporting his murder, it's strange to hear the respect she has laced into her voice for him. I sigh and I decide asking him now will be better than waiting until later on.

He's returned from wherever he went; he sits on a bench, Ty Lee beside him. I watch as they talk for a moment, his motions are stiff and his expression polite which makes me get a feeling he doesn't exactly like talking to Ty Lee.

I force my legs to move towards him until I'm standing in front of him; he looks up at me, his expression blank. Ty Lee smiles up at me slightly, her lips forming into an uncomfortable slant. The Fire Lord stands up, placing his bowl of porridge on the bench before motioning a hand for me to walk in front of him.

I sigh as tightness fills my chest. We walk out of the shack and he shuts the door behind us. I cross my arms and lean back against the wall of the shack, "I'm meeting someone today." I don't ask it like a question; I say it like a statement.

I don't look at him as he answers, "Who?"

I take a tight breath, "A friend of mine."

He's quiet for a long time, "Very well- but you'll have to take along Liu or Nox."

I whip around and face him, "I'm capable of going on my own."

"I know you are, but that doesn't change my instructions."

I can't help it as I stomp my foot, I just shouldn't have asked him, "You're impossible!"

He's already walking back into the shack.

The others leave to help the Fire Lord with something, I don't pay attention until I see the Fire Lord glancing at me and saying something to Liu. I'm glad he's leaving Liu behind- I wouldn't want Nox getting in any trouble. I'm sliding my fingers over my dagger when the door of the shack shuts and Liu turns to me, "When are you leaving?" His voice is gruff.

I shrug, "When I feel like it."

He crosses his arms over his chest, "Don't you dare try anything on me."

I roll my eyes and laugh dryly, "If I was planning something on you- I wouldn't need to _try._"

He hisses at me like some sort of animal before flopping down onto a bench, grumbling something about 'undeserving peasants'. I flip my dagger around in my hand. The thought of bringing someone along with me to see Jet makes me laugh. I would be killed in a few seconds flat. I pull out the hairpins in my hair and sharpen them using the blade of the dagger.

I twine two of them together, twisting it so it forms a small sharp weapon, sharp enough to make someone bleed badly. I add another hairpin and then tuck the weapon back in my hair. I have the sword I chose from the armory sheathed and tied around my waist. My boots have three daggers buried in the lining of my boots. I have the fourth one- the dagger from the Kyoshi warriors in my hand.

I can never be too safe, although I'm seeing Jet- I still can't trust anyone- even him.

I brandish my dagger between my fingers, not taking my eyes off of Liu. I could just run and deal with the consequences later, but I decide to make this little heist a tad creative. I get up, grabbing my cloak and pulling it over my head, "Let's go."

Liu glances up at me suddenly, as if he had been sleeping. He doesn't say a word as he grabs his cloak, his sword and straightens up. I walk ahead of him, burying the knife into the sleeve of my suit, close enough to pull out fast enough.

Cho had given me clear directions- Jet would be meeting me at an old bar, near the slightly wealthier side of the colonies, beside the docks. It would be about an hour walk, enough time for me to add on to my plan. The tips of my finger trace the edge of my dagger.

"Who are you meeting anyways?" He asks roughly, holding the handle of his sword, as if he's waiting for someone to attack. I half smile- _good._

I look at him, "I don't see why it's any of your business."

He snorts but doesn't say anything more. I time our steps, wondering when it would be appropriate to carry out my plan. There's no time like the present. I stop abruptly and hold out my hand in front of him, he opens his mouth to say something but I hold my finger to my lips, widening my eyes.

A see a flicker of confusion in his gaze as he glances around me. I grab his arm and pull him to the closest wall, slamming him hard against it- harder than I should have, but I don't think twice about it. I crouch down on my knees, he gives me a bewildered look, "What the-"

"Did you see them?" I hiss.

His eyes widen, matching my own and I force the smile tugging at my lips away. I suddenly begin sprinting and I hear him grunt as he follows me. He sprints after me, calling my name. I run as fast as I can, and turn a sharp corner. It doesn't take him long to reach me, but he grasps his knees, "I didn't see anyo-"

I grab him and shove him out of the way hard, he falls onto the ground, his back slamming with a painful noise, I gasp loudly, "Watch out!" I yell at him. His eyes are wide and his heart is beating so loudly and fast, I can feel it, "Did you not just see the arrow? Why were you just standing there?" I shove him hard again, but this time it's just to reinforce the fact that I'm mad at him.

The look in his eyes makes a laugh bubble in my throat, but I look away just in time, jerking backwards. I get up and sprint as fast as I can, he's still lying on the ground, but he follows me, right on my heels. He's too fast to outrun. I hear his voice, "I think- I think I saw them!" He yells at me. I don't bother hiding my laugh.

I force my feet to move faster, my entire body burns, but I ignore it. I take a sharp turn, then another one. I slam my back against a wall and peek over my shoulder, just to see him running up the street. He stands suddenly, unsure of where to go. I can't have him following me. I pull out the dagger in my sleeve, I don't want to kill him- but I have to make this realistic. It's the Kyoshi dagger. When he turns his back on me, I'm on my feet, sprinting.

I aim and release the dagger from my fingertips, before he can even turn around. It hits him in the thigh, not hard enough for him to bleed to death, but he falls to the ground to his left side, I sprint past him. Let him think what he wants. I cannot have him following me- under any condition.

I run until my lungs ache and until I'm positive I've made it far enough that he'll never follow me. I finally stop sprinting grasp my knees as I burst out laughing- it comes out in wheezes while I pant. The look on his face was priceless, how stupid can you get?

"I had a feeling I'd find you doing something like this."

I jump at his voice and then whirl around. Jet stands in front of me, his lips tilted in a lazy smile, his eyes awake and alert- just how I remember them. He's wearing a cloak to make him somehow blend in with the other villagers here. I can't help it as I breathe a sigh of relief. He's the only person who's not fire nation, and although I can't trust him, I can't help feeling relieved at seeing him.

His smile grows slightly and he touches my shoulders, "We can't stand out here for too long, we'll talk inside," He leads me, "Follow me."

I follow him as we walk closer to the docks- where I was supposed to meet him. I walk a few steps behind him, all aware of the daggers in my boots and the weapon in my hair. Maybe I took too many extra precautions. Because for the first time- I feel as if I can trust Jet.

He stops in front of a small, old bar of some sort, somehow still having business. He holds the door open as I walk in. The sickening smell of alcohol fills hits me in the face like a stone. The entire room is thickened with its smell. I force myself to take a deep breath as we find a small table near the back. There are a few people, many of them sitting at the actual bar- too drunk to notice our entrance.

I sit down first and Jet slides in the seat across from me. I take in his appearance; it's been about a month, no more than that. He looks the same, his hair still neatly combed, his eyes still alert. I can't say the same about myself. He looks down at his hands before glancing back up at me, "You look…different."

A tired laugh floats out of my mouth, "So would you if you experienced half the things I did."

His eyes drop apologetically to my cast. They had told me multiple times that no harm would befall me. Maybe when they said 'no harm' they mean they'd keep my alive- but just barely. I still can't find it in me to blame Jet. I straighten up, "How have you been?"

He touches his forehead, "Fine, how about you?"

I fidget in my seat.

"Are you hungry? Do you want something to drink?" Jet asks me after I don't respond. I shake my head; I wouldn't be able to swallow anything- especially with this horrible stench lingering in the air of this bar. He lowers his head slightly, "I don't know where to start." He finally says.

I lean back in my seat, "How about how you came to know I was coming here."

He glances up at me, "I knew you would come eventually- after the colonies had been attacked. I had no doubt you would make it to elite, and I knew you would be asked to accompany the fire lord because of the fact that you're from the colonies," He slides his finger across the old wood of the table, "It was also a help to know my way- and people around here."

I watch his hand on the table, "How did you know about the attack?"

He withdraws his hand from the table, "It wasn't that hard to figure out," He stops talking, as if he's already shared too much information. He looks up at me and meets my eyes, "How have you really been, Katara?"

His voice is filled with genuine caress. He can see the bruises that cover me with the small amount of skin I'm showing. The bruises and scrapes on my calloused hands. There's not much cuts left after I injured myself, but the bruises are all apparent. I'm glad he can't see my back, "To be honest, I've never felt worse." I reply simply.

He swallows hard.

Every hardship I've faced in this past month flashes before my mind. Fighting Kol for the first time, going through the obstacle course, having being pinned against a wall with nowhere to go, being so injured I couldn't even tie my own boots, having a dagger pointed at my neck, being ambushed. It all hurts to think about, but I just look back up at him, allowing him to read my expression for his own interpretation.

I shouldn't be complaining, as people like Cho and Chanzai have been through so much worse. But I can't help it as a selfish greed fills me to be pitied and to be felt sorry for.

"I'm sorry," He finally says, "I don't know the half of what you've been through, and I can't blame you for hating Commander Jane and hating the nationless and hating me-"

"I don't hate you." I cut him off.

He releases a slow sigh, his eyes filled with confliction of who he's loyal to. I can practically see the two sides of him battling each other, between what's right and what's wrong, "I have a lot to tell you Katara." He finally says, so quietly, I strain to hear him.

He leans back in his seat, "For years now, the nationless have been collecting people from all over the world- from all four nations- almost the entire Air nation. Commander Jane has always believed the segregation between us is the cause of all the confliction between us. She's been trying to create a world where this is no nations- no tribes- no colonies- just a world where it was just us. No one to tell us we belong somewhere, because we would all belong in the same place."

He takes a breath and then continues, "It doesn't seem like a bad idea, does it? But as I've grown up, I've come to realize that its human nature to form these differences between us and others. We've been born comparing ourselves to other- seeing the differences and similarities. And, I can't help but think that having these four nations dividing us can't be that bad."

"But that's not what Commander Jane believes. The Fire Nation has been ruling this world for years, but we've been taking in everybody we can- anyone who supported her in her beliefs or people who were just tired of the world as it is- people who wanted change. We formed a nation of our own- larger and stronger than every nation combined. It's hard to even begin to imagine the amount of support Commander Jane has been given. There are so many people relying on her to fix this world."

He glances at me, as if waiting for me to say something, but I say nothing. He continues speaking, "When the previous Fire Lord died- it wasn't because of the Earth Kingdom- it was a nationless man that had him assassinated- it was Commander who sent out those orders. He was captured and killed right away,"

A chill runs down my spine.

"That's when his son- Fire Lord Zuko took his place as the new Fire Lord. Since then- every attack on the Fire Nation seems to be coming from the Earth Kingdom- but that's just a diversion. The Earth Kingdom has become one of the weakest Kingdoms- because there're very few people who aren't relenting to the ways of the Nationless, but every single attack has been coming directly from the nationless."

"The Fire Lord is aware of the nationless, but he doesn't believe them to be this powerful- no one does. Because of the fact that he thinks the attacks are coming from the Earth Kingdom, he's sending in many attacks. The Earth Kingdom has become the weakest nation now- after the entire Air Nomades gave in completely and became part of the Nationless."

"Soon enough, the people who are left in the Earth kingdom will have no choice but to join an army as powerful as the Nationless," He glances up at me, "When they're taken down completely, the next step is to have the entire Water tribe taken down," His voice lowers, "That's why _you _were chosen. Commander Jane is now going to alter these attacks to blame the Water Tribe- that's why there have slowly been more and more attacks in the Water Tribe from the fire nation. Because the Fire Lord slowly believes that the Water Tribe is sending more attacks- so in return he's sending them back on the Water Tribe- soon enough they'll become as weak as the Earth Kingdom."

I'm clenching my fists, digging my nails into the palms of my hands.

"Soon enough- when every nation has joined with the nationless- together we'll all take down the remaining Fire nation. And whoever is left in that massive bloodbath- Commander Jane will take them in, and then it's done, the entire world will be in her hands," He finally finishes, his face taut with held back emotion.

I swallow hard, my throat still scrapes slightly from the cold from a few days back, "So me taking down the Fire Lord is just a diversion to have my entire nation destroyed?" My voice shakes ever so slightly. His eyes examine my face before he nods, "When the Fire Nation finds out that you- the assassin was from the Water Tribe, whoever takes the Fire Lord's place will send in large armies to destroy the entire Water Tribe."

And it hits me. _That's why. _I'm shaking my head, "That's why she has my father held captive, because she _knows_ how much it means to me, and she _knows _I'll do anything to save him, because she _knows _now that I have no other choice," I'm blinking back tears after so many years, but they fill my eyes.

A dry laugh escapes my throat, "And here I was thinking she was just trying to stop the war." I wipe my eyes with the back of my hand and try to gain some control on my emotions. I'm trying to stop myself from shaking as I grab the table. I'm just a weapon for her, something she could use and then dispose of when she turned the word into a true bloodbath, something even the _Fire Lord _wouldn't dare to do.

I think about the large room with all the different soldier suits from every single nation, following step by step as the nation's design changed. She's been doing this for years. Every single attack- has been _her_. Blood pulses through my veins. I've never felt so helpless- so angry- so desperate- so hopeless. The tears stream down my face and I don't bother wiping them.

I'm getting up and walking as fast as I can without attracting too much attention. I don't even process Jet's words. I'm running as fast as I can, away from the stench pf the bar, away from the docks, away from Jet. I only stop when my chest aches and my legs are too weak to hold myself up. I slide down onto the ground next to a wall and I'm not surprised as I see Jet standing in front of me.

He crouches down in front of me, his eyebrows drawn in, "Katara-"

"I can't do this," My voice is a rasp, "I can't kill the Fire Lord- I can't destroy this entire world- Jet, I can't."

He opens his mouth to say something, but I cut him off.

"Please- just tell me where my father is," I'm pleading with him as the tears threaten to spill again, "_Please. _I can't do this. I just can't. Jet, _please." _

His eyes are following every tear that slips down my cheek, "Katara- I-" He swallows hard. I've never been more desperate in my life. I grasp his arm, "I don't want to be here, I want my father back- I want to go home!" The last words come out a yell and he flinches.

He touches my hand, then, ever so slowly, intertwines his fingers with mine. His eyes are lowered as he stares down at our joined hands and I wipe the tears away with my free hand, my breaths slowing. He's close to me, so close to me. He looks up at me and his grey eyes meet my blue ones, "I wish I could do something, Katara. If I knew where your father was- I would get him released; I would take you back to your home- where you belong."

His expression is so pained, so distressed, "But I _can't. _I can't help you, Katara. I'm so-"

My hand flinches and then he's holding his cheek, now bright red from blood blush, his eyes wide.

"Don't-" My voice is a blade, "Don't you _dare _apologize." I shove him back as hard as I can, "Get the _hell _away from me. You're just like your mother- cruel, twisted and sick!"

His eyes are still wide as I get up, "Katara-"

"You're nothing more than a coward," My heart is beating hard against my chest as I stare down at the pathetic excuse for a human being on the ground, "And don't _ever _say my name again." Blind rage rushes through me as I turn away from him. He makes a smart move by not following me. My walk soon turns into a run, a run so fast and desperate to get away from everything.

* * *

He watches her leave. His eyes still wide and his hand still pressed flush against his cheek. She had slapped him harder than he knew was humanely possible. And then she left. But it wasn't the slap that had left him in shock.

"_You're nothing more than a coward."_

Her words lingered in the air around him, overpowering him.

* * *

**Tell me what you thought! Please, please leave a review on any thoughts, questions or comments you have! **

**What did you think of their conversation? **


	24. Chapter 24

**I edited this story a bit, so you may have missed the update for the last chapter, but it's there! So if you haven't read it, please go to the previous chapter and read it because it's one of the most important chapters! **

**Anyways, enjoy!**

* * *

Somehow- I stumble back into the shack. The others are all up in and instant and there's yelling and shouting, but I don't process any of it. I sit down on my sleeping bag and barely glance up at Liu before I realize what the chaos is about. I was supposed to be ambushed.

His leg is wrapped around and he's staring at me- his eyes wide, obviously unaware of the fact that I had been the one who dug it into his thigh. Lee is crouching down in front of me, "What happened? Katara, holy God above- I thought you had died!" Before I know what's happening, he's wrapping his arms around me. And then Ty Lee's coming and doing the same.

I want them to leave. I don't want anyone to be near me. I want to scream and yell at someone. I want to make someone feel the pain I'm feeling. Instead, I just shut my eyes and attempt to drain out everyone around me.

"Get off of her," His voice sounds tired, "She just got back, give her some space." I open one eye to see the Fire Lord watching me, his golden eyes genuinely concerned. Seeing him look at me like that makes my stomach turn. He's just a tool for Jane as well- just like me.

Jane's words echo in my mind.

"_Remember who the real enemy is." _

The others step away from me, giving me space to inhale and exhale as my stomach turns again. The worst part is- I'm not sure anymore. I'm not even sure if there's only one enemy, or if everyone around me is my enemy. Maybe I was wrong when I thought I had alibi's. I had to be wrong. Because it's better to realize yourself that you were wrong than to be proven that you were wrong.

Everyone seems to be bursting with questions, but holding back because of the Fire Lord. They eat impatiently and Cho walks into the room. Maybe she can tell by the look on my face that I don't feel like talking. She simply hands me dinner and says nothing more, her eyes speaking enough for the silence between us.

I won't be able to stomach the food, so I just push it aside. But the smell of the soup everyone's eating fills the air around me. I get up- in desperate need of fresh air. I push the wooden door open and lean against the wall as I look up at the darkening sky. I know someone will come and follow me out soon enough, but I relish in the silence and the cool breeze.

I'm turning into someone I never wanted to be, someone that I never wanted to see myself become. I'm turning into someone helpless and weak, something I never imagined to become. It scares me how fast I've changed even if it's only been a little more than a month since I left the Water Tribe. I wish I was back in the Water Tribe, back where I lived in the ignorance that I only had one enemy, that there was just a Fire Lord fueling the war.

But everything pieces together so well, I can't even try and deny it.

The conversations I had with Fire Lord Zuko when he had said that the Earth Kingdom armies are growing and overpowering so much- it was all the nationless. Jane has been using the Fire Nation to tear down every nation- like a coward, getting others to do her job. Like a coward, but an intelligent one. She' d have no blood on her hands, she wouldn't need to fight anyone, everything is going according to her plan, and there is no one that can stop it.

And all these villagers- these colonials- that have so much hope in the nationless to help them get away from this war, little do they know they're driving themselves blindly into an even larger war- a war that no one could have possibly imagined.

The door opens and shuts and he walks beside me and leans against the wall. He's silent for a long time and I listen to our breaths mingling in the silence that surrounds us.

"Hey," He says, his voice quiet.

I turn to face the Fire Lord, "_Hey?_"

He gives me a look, "What?"

"_That's _how you're planning on starting this conversation?"

He crosses his arms, "At least I'm _trying_ to start a conversation, instead of just standing there and sulking." He looks so young- so free off all his duties as he watches me, his eyes challenging me, his shoulders are relaxed, his expression slightly playful.

And it's stupid, and it's not right, but I laugh. I force myself to laugh longer than I should because of how much I've missed the sound of laughter- the sound of my own laughter.

His lips slant into an easy smile, "You're laughing after you were just ambushed?"

I wonder how long he would yell at me if I told him the truth. Instead, I cross my arms and smirk, "So what? I told you I could handle myself."

"Well isn't that apparent, it took you half a day to find your way back?" He asks me, his voice still lively. His words carefully avoiding the actual subject at hand.

I sneer, "You searched for me for more than half a day, and you still couldn't find me?"

He laughs briefly, as if laughing for too long might make the situation unrealistic. And for the first time, I see the many shades of him, the aspects of himself that he chooses to conceal, and the others that he chooses to show.

And just like that- it's gone.

He glances up at me, meeting my eyes, "Are you hurt anywhere?"

I shake my head, "I got away, after Liu was injured- I didn't bother trying to help him up- I ran as fast and as far away as I could. They never caught up to me."

His eyes narrow slightly, "So what did you do for the rest of the day?"

"I walked around the village."

His eyebrows lower, "You walked around the village after you were almost killed? Do you have any idea how-"

I wave my hand, "I know, I know, you don't have to waste your breath scolding me. I know how _dangerous_ it was."

He shuts his mouth, still looking at me. I glance away from him. He reaches into a pocket in his cloak and pulls out a sickeningly familiar dagger, and I realize it must have originated from the nationless, "They were Kyoshi warriors." He says, his voice low, "They've been attacking a lot- especially on the colonies."

He traces his fingers over the dagger, just as I did a couple of days ago. He must be feeling how I felt a couple of days ago, as if I was a step ahead of everyone else, but that's before I knew the truth.

"I just don't understand why they would return again, and why would they ambush only you?"

I swallow, "Maybe they knew we were your soldiers, and killing us first would be a way to get closer to you."

He nods, "Maybe," He tucks the dagger back into his cloak, and then slowly turns to face me. He hasn't tied his hair back into his crown this entire journey.

"I never apologized to you earlier," He says.

My fingers curl, "For what?"

"I'm sorry I brought you along with Kol, I meant what I said the other day of having you confront him, but now I realize you were right- it _was_ an unwisedecision," He crosses his arms over his chest.

I smile slightly, my lips turning up on their own, "So you've finally come to your senses?"

He nods, "Plus he's a pain to be around."

"I'm glad you think so," I shift my weight, "Are we leaving tomorrow?" I ask quietly.

He nods, "Early in the morning- do you feel well enough to travel?"

"I feel fine," I glance down at the ground- realizing how much I've ignored what I _should_ have been doing on this journey, what the others have been doing, while helping out the colonies. I've been doing whatever I've wanted to do since I came here. It's surprising no one's chided me on it.

"A speech and financial support, _that's _the reason why we came here?" The regret I feel after I speak hits me like a rock in the face.

His eyes darken, "Well you haven't been around much to be saying anything."

"I helped in the hospital," I comb the stray hairs away from my face, "And I was there for your speech."

"Before you left."

I touch my forehead, "I felt sick."

"I see," He leans back against the wall, his legs lazily crossed over each other, "Who did you meet today?"

My heart beats hard suddenly, "What are you talking about?"

He laughs slightly before cutting it off shortly, "You heard me."

I give him a look, "I told you, I was just walking around the-"

"Katara," His voice is sharp, "Who did you meet?"

I gape at him for a moment, before crossing my arms; I just had to play it cool, "After I was ambushed, I went to meet my cousin."

"Your cousin?" He asks, bemused. He turns his head to look at me, "I thought I told you not to go alone."

"If we're leaving tomorrow, I wanted to see at least _one _member of my family." The thought of calling Jet family makes me want to puke.

"Where's the rest of your family?"

My hands tighten into fists, "That's none of your business."

"Have you met them?"

"Still none of your business."

"Fine." He turns to leave, before glancing over his shoulder, "Come inside or you'll catch another cold."

"I'll come inside when I feel lik-"

He cuts me off by handing me his cloak, "If you're planning on moping for the rest of the night, at least take this- and try to get at least _some_ sleep."

I watch as he leaves, the door squeaking shut behind him. I pull his cloak up onto my shoulders again and breathe in the air around me.

I slip into bed a couple of hours after the Fire Lord left. I fold his cloak and set it aside as I slip into my sleeping bag. I grasp the thin cotton sheets and bunch them up in my fists and take a deep breath as my thoughts begin haunting me once again.

I try to clear my mind- to leave my thoughts for tomorrow, but my entire body tenses as the conversation with Jet circles my mind over and over again. And it hurts me to realize there is no clear solution for me, I'm caught in the middle of all of this and there's no solution I can choose that will be best for me- or for anyone else.

When I tire myself with thoughts, I finally go to sleep.

* * *

"Wake up princess, it's time to go," Lee shakes me awake. My eyes sting as I open them to the bright sunlight peeking through the small cracks in the shack. My body feels exhausted as I roll up my sleeping bag. The others are already eating their porridge.

I wash up and then grab a bowl of porridge. My stomach rumbles from my past missed meals and I press my back against the shack and sip the porridge. I move aside when Liu sits down next to me, his leg still bandaged.

I give him a look as he takes a sip of his porridge.

"What are you doing?" I ask him.

He glances up at me and for the first time he doesn't scowl at me, his eyes are sincere, "I never thanked you for yesterday."

I almost choke on my porridge as I hold back my laugh, but it bubbles out of my throat. He looks at me strangely before speaking.

"The arrow would have nailed me if you didn't pull me aside, and although you just left me bleeding, you still kind of saved my life by creating a diversion," He nods at me, his voice uneasy, "Thank you for that."

I cough as my eyes fills with water from choking on my porridge from laughing. I nod at him, "Trust me, it was nothing."

He seems uncomfortable and then he just nods and gets up and walks back over to Kol.

I'm quiet as I help Cho with the dishes. I'm glad she doesn't ask me any questions, but I wish I could tell her. Warn her about what type of woman she's supporting. But I can't string the words together as I wash the last dish.

"I wish we had more supplies to provide you with for your journey back to the palace-"

I shake my head vigorously, "No, please- it's okay."

She smiles at me, the age of her past catching up to her as her eyes soften, "You will be missed, but I'm sure we'll see you soon enough."

She touches my cheek with her rough-skinned hand, "You're an inspiration to so many people here. You'll be the one to restore peace to this world."

I try to keep the guilt down as the words claw at my throat to be released. I try to smile as she pulls me into a hug. The heat of her body makes it difficult to hold back my emotion. A tear slips down my cheek and I try to swallow back any other emotion.

Her eyes are concerned when she pulls away, "What's wrong child? Why are you crying?"

I shake my head and wipe my eyes with my hand and smile slightly, "Nothing- I'll just miss you a lot."

She smiles again, "We'll be reunited soon enough."

The guilt strangles me as we walk back into the shack; the others are ready to leave. We walk toward the stables and I reach my horse. I pet her mane as she eats from the bag of oats. When she's done- I follow the others as we lead our horses out of the stables. She neighs softly as I tug her reins.

I mount my horse before the others and watch as Cho speaks to the Fire Lord, his cloak is pulled over his head, his fists clenched. I can't see his face, but he nods and Cho touches his head before he mounts his own horse.

Cho provides horses for both Lee and Ty Lee, so no one will have to share for another three days.

I flick the reins and don't turn back to look at Chanzai's mother and the Southern Colonies as we ride away from them. I focus on the sounds of the hooves hit the ground for a couple of hours, until there's no sign of villagers. Only then do I actually look around at the forest path we're travelling on.

My legs and back are sore once more as we stop for the night. I climb off my horse and watch as the Fire Lord gets a fire started with one flick of his wrist. I lean against my horse's leg and watch as Nox prepares the meal once more. His hand shakes slightly and some of the boiling soup pours onto his left arm. I'm by his side as he grits his teeth. I grab the bowl from him and set it aside.

He trembles as I grab his arm, it's not burnt badly, but it will blister.

"Are you okay?"

His eyes widen as he meets my eyes and he inches away from me. My eyebrows lower, "Nox? Are you-"

"I'm fine," He says, saying the first words I've ever heard him utter. His voice is low and hoarse, as if he hasn't spoken in years.

The others watch us. I gently release his arm and back away from him. There's a clear confliction in his eyes that I didn't notice until now.

I eat the soup in silence and watch Nox from where I set up my sleeping bag. I don't close my eyes even as the others go to sleep. I watch him as he stares into the fire, his eyes ablaze. His arm is red and I can already see some blisters showing signs of growth.

I can't help wonder what I saw in his eyes earlier- why he backed away from me- why he spoke so roughly.

I shut my eyes and it seems like only a few minutes of sleep when I hear yelling. My eyes snap open and it's the break of dawn, the fire is snuffed, but the ashes still rise from within it. I hear a loud yell and I'm up in an instant, grabbing aimlessly for my sword, before realizing its still lying on the ground.

I squint through my bleary vision until I make out someone being dragged out of the forest. The others are up, standing up, everyone has a hand on a weapon. I grab my sword and clamber to my feet somehow, I shove Kol aside to try and see who's being dragged across the ground.

Liu is holding Nox by the hair, his fist clenched on his large black curls. Nox's nose is bleeding and he's whimpering from his position on the ground.

The Fire Lord stands in front of them both, his face contorted with a form of anger I've never seen before.

"An earth bender!" Liu bellows, his sword pointed at Nox's throat, digging into it deep enough for blood to leak out. A scream climbs up my throat and I clamp a hand over my mouth. Nox has tears streaming down his face, "A traitor!"

Nox whimpers loudly, his entire body trembling.

"I found him earth bending in the forest this morning, your highness, he's an assassin sent by them!"

The Fire Lord watches Nox, no sign of any emotion suddenly, the anger drains from his face just as suddenly as it had come, and his expression is unreadable. Nox tries to claw his way towards the Fire Lord but Liu kicks him hard- so hard, I hear the sound of his ribs cracking from where I'm standing and I grit my teeth.

"Tie him up," His words are stoic, calm. His expression docile, "He'll be executed when we get back to the palace- in front of anyone else who thinks they can get away with something like this." The Fire Lord turns away, from him- from all of us and walks over to his horse.

And all I can think of are Jet's words. How Jane was sending the assassins, this must be the last one, to get the Earth Kingdom destroyed completely- and then- I swallow hard- next is the water tribe. _I'm_ next. Nox screams and I can't help as my eyes travel over to his body, sprawled on the ground. There are tears in his eyes and he's pleading with Liu in a pitiful voice- like a kicked animal.

And I realize that, that just as easily could have been me on the ground.

I watch as Liu pulls his foot back, and kicks him with all his power right in the face. He's knocked out cold within a few seconds. He grabs metal cuffs out of the storage from the back of his horse and ties up his hands, his legs and ties a twine around his mouth. Blood leaks as his lips crack from the roughness of the twine. I watch as Liu throws him onto the horse and chains him down to his own horse.

It'd be practically impossible for him to escape.

I try to keep my expression calm, but my insides writhe with a type of fear I've never felt before. What would happen if they catch me? Just like the assassin that killed the past Fire Lord- he was killed a few moments later. Jane must have promised him his safety as well. And now Nox- just like him- is going to be slain in front of the entire nation to see.

"Move out!" The Fire Lord calls out and everyone mounts their horses as he gallops off- ahead of us all.

I scramble to quickly get on my horse to keep up with the others. I flick the reins harder so I can gallop ahead of Liu so I won't have to see the blood leaking from Nox's mouth. I feel like screaming from the fear and from the guilt, but I chew down hard on my bottom lip and don't dare utter a word for the rest of the day.

Nox wakes up somewhere during lunchtime and he's not fed. I can feel his burning gaze from where I'm sitting and from where he's chained up to a tree. I force myself to stomach the food- just like everyone else seems to be doing. I don't dare look over as I hear grunts coming from Nox as Liu walks over to him.

My mind is scrambling for a though to catch on to calm myself down, but my heart continuously thrashes against my chest each time I look over at Nox. The scariest part is knowing he was caught bending- just as I was doing only a week ago.

We stop again for the night and Nox is practically dragged off the horse. Once treated like a loyal soldier- now he's a dirty traitor, who _should_ be treated like an animal. Liu takes this as an excuse to beat him up within an inch of his life every chance he gets. The Fire Lord doesn't seem to care- he almost seems indifferent.

I dare to look up at him as I hold the soup in my hands. His expression is still unreadable from across the flames of the fire. I wish he would look up at me so I could at least try and find out what he's feeling, how he's feeling- but his eyes are lowered, staring at the ground. It doesn't make sense- he should be scared, he should be terrified and angry.

I don't speak to anyone as I get into my sleeping bag. Liu ties Nox up to a tree, but doesn't go to sleep. The Fire Lord leaves into the forest with his sword. Kol, Lee and Ty Lee are all lying wide awake in their sleeping bags.

I turn away from the others and lie on my side for the entire night- not getting even a minutes worth of sleep. I get up- my body feeling numb and on the verge of shutting down as I help Ty Lee make the breakfast. Nox hasn't been given anything to eat or drink for an entire day. I venture to glance over at him, his eyes are shut, his face bruised, bloody and swollen.

I wonder how Jane bribed him to come in as an assassin. I wonder how long ago he made elite soldiers. I wonder what's going through his mind now.

I carefully pour the porridge into bowls.

"Give him something to eat and to drink," I glance up as the Fire Lord looks directly at Ty Lee as he speaks, "We need him alive until tomorrow."

She nods her head and her hands shake slightly as she picks up a bowl and a flask. Her legs seem unsteady as she walks over to Nox, her feet seeming unbalanced. She sets down his meal and quickens her pace as she walks back to us.

The Fire Lord is still standing directly beside me- not saying anything as he just watches Nox. I stare down at his boots until he turns and walks away.

We travel for the entire day, stopping for lunch and travelling far into the night, because according to Liu- we could make it back to the palace in a couple of hours. I'm expecting relief when I see the palace walls, but my entire body tenses as the walls come into my line of sight.

Everyone is quiet as we lead our horses into the stable. A couple of guards that I've never seen before- dressed in full armour grab the unconscious Nox and drag him by his chains away from all of us. The Fire Lord says something to them and they just nod. I pet my horses mane one last time. Someone touches my arm and I jump.

Lee looks at me, "Come on, we're going back up to our rooms."

I'm looking at Fire Lord Zuko, as he watches the soldiers drag Nox away. My lips feel numb as I speak, "Where are they taking him?"

He doesn't move an inch, doesn't even glance in my direction. His golden eyes gleam as he watches the soldiers disappear. His words are suddenly cold, cut off, unlike his own, "None of your business."

His words feel like a slap and I open my mouth to say something when Lee gives me a small tug, its small but enough to make me realize what I'm doing.

I don't look back at the Fire Lord as a couple of soldiers escort us into our rooms. Ty Lee walks into hers without saying anything and Lee just gives me a short wave as he enters his own room. I don't even look to see where Kol goes. When I open the door to my room, Mei is already in there, running around the room, folding random clothes and straightening up random items.

When she sees me, her face cracks into a grin, "Miss Katara! You're here already? Oh- never mind that, you look exhausted! How was your journey? You really need a bath." I allow myself to drown myself in Mei's rambling as I sit down on the foot of my bed.

The softness of the mattress makes me want to go right to sleep. Mei helps me take my boots off and then ushers me into the washroom, insisting I take a bath before I get to sleep. I dismiss Mei- not wanting to be around anyone at the moment. She argues, but I dismiss her firmly.

I scrub off what seems like layers and layers of grime that cover my entire body. I scrub up and down my arms and legs over and over again, until my skin burns from being scrubbed so hard. I finally get out and change into the thin white nightgown that Mei had left out for me. Its thin fabric drapes over my entire body, reaching my ankles, and I walk out of the washroom.

I comb through my hair on my own and then leave it out as I climb into bed. The exhaustion seems to have finally caught up with my body and my eyes feel as if someone has placed weights on them. I go to sleep- trying not to think of anything for the first time in days.

* * *

**Tell me what you thought! Any thoughts, comments, questions or criticism are welcome! What did you guys think of Nox being an earth bender?**


	25. Chapter 25

**Thanks for 100 reviews, it really means so much to me that a lot of you are enjoying this story. **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

"Miss Katara?" My eyes flicker awake as Mei whispers from above me, "It's time to get up."

I groan and pull the covers up higher, "Can't I sleep in?"

"No," Mei says, her voice strangely quiet, "There's somewhere important you need to be."

"Important…" I trail off as I remember the execution. I must be expected to be there for Nox's execution.

"Something's happened," Mei says to me as I slowly get up from my bed. I nod slowly, "I know."

She gives me a look and hoists me to stand up, "No- no it's not what you think."

My mind scatters, "What?"

She rushes me into the washroom. I call to her as I wash my face, "What happened?"

"You'll find out soon enough."

I quickly scrub the soap off my face and then brush my teeth. I walk out of the washroom and look over at Mei. She's turned around, adjusting something on my dresser. It's not her words that scare me- it's the look on her face. She's always put together- even in the most frightening situations, but her forehead is creased and she keeps running her hand across her face, to relieve the tension.

I look over to her as she neatly pulls a dress out. It's a white lace dress. In my nation, we would usually wear black to someone's funeral, but in the Fire Nation, white was worn. I trace my fingers over the lace, "I already know about Nox."

She shakes her head but doesn't say anything.

I change into the dress, I trace the expensive fabric, it doesn't seem right to be wearing something so fancy and expensive at someone's execution. She seats me down and then combs through my hair quickly. Her fingers slip a few times but she stays focused as she pulls my hair back. She pins it aside and ties it back so half of it is pulled up and the other half drapes over my shoulders.

She doesn't put any makeup on me, and then tells me to stand up. She leads me out the door and we turn down a hall I've never been down before. The hallway is closed off from other places and there's a few other soldiers lining the hallway. I see Haru and Ty Lee with their maids walking into a room. I quicken my pace, but Mei holds me back for a moment.

"You are not allowed to speak out- whatever you do, do you understand me?" Her eyes are focused on me, her expression nothing but serious, "You will not say anything- you will listen to what the Fire Lord has to say and you will come right back to your room, do you understand?"

I nod but my heart bangs against my chest, "What's happened?"

"I don't know the details, but the soldier who was taken into the dungeon took his own life yesterday."

My heart slows.

"I have to go, but _please _keep your mouth closed for once."

A soldier leads me through two extravagant doors and I see crowds of people. It seems like some kind of stadium, but I can't see the centre stage. The soldier ushers me to where the rest of the elite soldiers are standing.

Mei's words echo in my mind. _He took his life away. _Nox committed suicide.

I can't think straight. What went through his mind when he made that choice? What were his last thoughts before he cut off the pulse of his heart forever?

There are so many people, many of us soldiers; I can see a few reporters and other important Generals standing near the stage. Lee takes his place standing next to me, his face ashen. I look at him, but I realize there's nothing any of us can say. If he's already dead, why are we gathering together?

There's murmuring but because there's so many of us, the sound fills my ears and my mind. Everyone suddenly becomes quiet. The silence closes in on the air around me, constricting me.

The Fire Lord walks through the same doors I walked through. I glance at him; he too is wearing white robes and a somber expression. His hair is tied back in his crown again, his walk nothing less than regal. Liu trails behind him, his face smug and I want to bash him into the ground.

The Fire Lord walks into the center of the stage and everyone watches him, Liu stands by his side, his head held high from the importance he's suddenly received. The Fire Lord waits until there is complete silence, I want him to glance over at me- to acknowledge my presence. But his face is hardened and he seems older.

"Many of you have heard of the attempted assassination from last night," His voice is loud and it echoes through the enormous room. I watch as the reporters scribble down his words as if they're precious evidence of something, "He was an elite soldier here- but a trained assassin brought by the Earth Kingdom. He was caught earth bending yesterday in the forest."

_Brought by Jane._

I hear a few shouts in response to his words, fueling the hatred for the Earth Kingdom.

The Fire Lord holds up his hand, "But some of you may not have heard of the events of last night. He committed suicide by taking down a soldier, grabbing his sword and plunging it in his chest."

I try to imagine Nox, burying the sword right into his heart, realizing that killing himself was the only way to go.

"It was an act of cowardice- he didn't want to face the consequences of his actions. He wanted to disgrace the fire nation one last time before he went down."

More shouting.

It _was_ an act of cowardice, I truly believe that. But I don't think it had anything to do with disgracing the Fire Nation. Nox knew he had failed his mission, he knew he had failed whoever Jane was bribing him with- whether it was one of his parents, his siblings, someone he loved. He had failed them and he had failed himself.

"He has brought the war upon his own Kingdom- and if he's not willing to pay the consequences, his nation will."

There's cheers.

The chills run up through my body. It's Jane's plan. Everyone is involved in making her plan work, carrying out what she started- so blindly.

"His body will be burnt to ashes and delivered right back to the Earth Kingdom as a reminder of what they've started," The Fire Lord doesn't seem as angry as his words are, but he continues uttering them, "As a reminder of his mistake."

The crowd erupts and that's when everyone starts moving aside slightly. I stand on the tips of my feet as the back doors open. Two soldiers, dressed in full armour make their way through the crowd, holding Nox's lifeless body by his arms. His legs drag across the ground limply. When they reach the center, they throw him aside; his eyes still open but clouded over completely gone at the same time.

I watch as they place his body on a wooden chair. His wound hasn't bothered being wrapped, but there's no more blood spilling out. It's a large gash in the center of his chest, tearing right through his clothes.

The Fire Lord is walking towards him and the cheers are growing louder, hungrier, savage. I'm staring at him as he keeps his posture straight. Everything about him is once again so pulled back, so pulled together, so void of any emotion.

I wish I would see some sort of emotion, anything. Anger, pity, confusion as to why Nox would make such an unwise decision. But there's nothing.

Liu walks up to the body, "May these ashes remind anyone else of the consequences of turning against His Majesty!"

The Fire Lord flicks his wrist and a large flame appears in his hand. And then Nox's entire body is lit up with the flames.

* * *

Fire is a strange element, the young Fire Lord thinks as he watches the flames take over the soldier's entire body. How is it possible for something so essential in life to be the very thing that kills you? He watches as the flames cover his body and then that smell.

That awful, wretched smell that had filled his mind far too many times to be tolerable. It was the same smell of burning flesh that had covered the air around him six years ago, when he had felt the flames hiss right through his skin.

He focuses on keeping his expression as clean as a slate. He was the Fire Lord, but he wasn't heartless. This was the man who would have tried to kill him if he had not been caught, but his insides writhe as he watches his skin turn over from the flames. He couldn't feel the pain- he was already dead. But the young Fire Lord felt the pain.

Relived the pain.

* * *

I watch as the flames encompass his entire body and completely swallow him whole as the last thing I see are his eyes, open- not even feeling the pain of being burnt alive.

Try as I might, I can't take my eyes off of his body and I watch through the flames as his body melts. The smell of burning flesh grows stronger as the seconds pass by. The stench fills my nose and I gag.

"I think I'm going to be sick," Lee mutters.

The Fire Lord has taken a step back, staring directly as Nox's body explodes into flames. Even Liu's face pales from the smell, but the Fire Lord doesn't seem affected from anything. His head is held high as he waits for the charred remains of his body to be the only thing left on the ground in front of him.

I clamp my hand over my mouth as bile rises in my throat. I hold my breath, trying not to inhale any more of the horrible stench. And finally, the flames are gone. His ashes are being swept up. What once used to be a human, seeing, breathing, living- is now nothing more than a pile of ashes.

The cheering is so loud, so overpowering; I'm looking for a way out of all of this. I can't seem to find a clear path to leave from. People are yelling from the excitement of having another traitor taken down, the reporters are mindlessly scribbling on pieces of paper and yelling out questions to the Fire Lord.

The Fire Lord says nothing more, and a large path is made for him as he, Liu and a few other generals leave the room.

Lee grabs my arm and helps me find a way out. We push through the crowd and leave through the back doors. I get to the nearest washroom and slam the door in Lee's face before he can follow me in.

I stand above the sink, waiting for my breakfast to come up. The smell of the burnt flesh is still so fresh. I cup my hands and fill them with water as I splash my face- over and over again.

My stomach writhes. It so easily could have been me. If I hadn't been so careful with my water bending, it would have been me. I feel even sicker as I feel the relief that it _wasn't _me having my dead body burnt to throw in the grounds of my nation. The guilt of the relief is so heavy, I'm having trouble breathing.

My mind travels back to the Fire Lord, _how_ could he just stand there- so emotionless as he burnt an entire human body to ashes? He was the Fire Lord- but he was still human, wasn't he?

And then Nox- how could he have thought killing himself was the solution? Maybe he didn't think of it as a solution- maybe it was just a way to go faster- get over with whatever he'd have to face after all this. But nothing- nothing at all- would change the fact that it was an act of cowardice, something that he shouldn't have done, an unwise decision.

I splash the water on my face a few more times before I emerge from the washroom. Lee's face is pale but he doesn't say anything as he leads me towards my room. Before I can reach for the doorknob, the door swings open and Mei stands aside as I walk over to my bed.

I collapse onto it and bunch the covers up around me.

Mei- gladly- doesn't say anything. She pulls my hair out of the pins and I lie down and she pulls my covers up. I know I should be at training, but I can't get myself to even stand up- let alone deal with Chan.

I curl up into a ball on my bed. The smell of the burning flesh still seems to be in the air around me. I wonder if there will ever be a time when I won't smell it. Mei doesn't tell me to eat lunch, she just sets it aside.

I don't eat anything even as the lunch tray is replaced with a tray for dinner. I slip out of the room, telling her I need some air, she doesn't protest, just watches me leave. I don't know why I want to go out- but I know there's a small part of me that is hoping to run into the Fire Lord.

I don't know what I want to say to him- or even why I want to see him. But that same small part of me wants to believe that he _is _human. That he's just well-practiced in the art of concealing his emotions. I don't want to believe he felt nothing after burning a body to ashes. I won't allow myself to believe it.

But I don't see him, I walk around the parts of the palace I know and then decide to return back to my room. I see Lee standing outside his room, leaning against his door. I walk over to him and his eyes briefly glance up at me before he looks back down.

"How are you feeling?" I ask him, his face is shadowed in the dimly lit hall. His usual lively eyes seem tired and heavy with the weight of what he was forced to see today.

"Fine and dandy princess, how about you?" He doesn't smile for once and I wish he would so I could try to smile back at him, so I could try and forget what _I _saw today.

I sigh and slide down to the floor, my back pressed against the wall. He does the same and for a moment, neither of us says anything. I take a deep breath, "What do you think should have happened?"

He shakes his head and slides a hand down his face, "I don't know, I mean that's what should have happened- but-" He sighs again, "I really don't know."

I nod, "Me neither."

"It's not something I want to see again," He says after a moment of thought.

I wish I could tell someone- share with _anyone, _the fear that stills runs through my veins that I'll be caught. That soon it'll be me that'll be burnt in front of everyone, with the hundreds of people cheering as my ashes cover the floor.

But I can't. I just can't.

I get up with a numbing pain that fills my heart. I don't say anything as I slip into my room and go back to my bed. Mei's asleep on a chair in the corner of the room so I keep my footsteps light and soundless. I pull the covers back and slide into bed and pull them over my head.

I listen to the sound of Mei's light, airy snoring until I fall asleep.

I wake up before Mei can shake me awake the next morning. I wash up and change into a fresh elite soldier suit. When I walk out of the washroom, Mei is watching me. She smiles slightly and seats me down in front of the dresser and begins ties my hair back neatly.

"They burnt him," I say it plainly.

She meets my eyes in the mirror, "I know."

"They burnt him," I repeat myself.

"He was a traitor."

I give her a look.

"He could have murdered the Fire Lord," She says after a beat of silence.

I sigh and stand up, brushing the palms of my hands on my pants. I walk into the breakfast hall and Haru is the first person I see. He takes one step and wraps his arms around me. I take a deep breath as my hands stay limp at my sides.

"How-"

"I'm fine," I cut him off flatly and he pulls away. I smile slightly at him, not realizing how much I've missed him until now, but I don't want anyone asking if I'm okay, because I'm not, but its worse when I can't tell anyone the truth.

After breakfast, we all walk into the training fields and I wonder if I'll even be able to keep up. My entire body still aches from the journey. We start off by running the perimeter of the field; I can feel Chan watching me as I slow behind a few others who I'm usually in front of. I wonder if he's finally decided of our punishment for leaving the palace walls.

My blood pounds in my ears with each step I take, but I force myself to quicken my steps. I can see the end line in the distance, just a bit further. Lee is far ahead of me. I pull my arms in close to myself and push my legs faster and faster. I can't feel the bottom half of my body as I fly in front of Lee and slide to a stop near the end line.

I grasp my knees as I breathe heavily, willing air into my lungs. Lee stops beside me, walking it out to catch his breath.

"For those of you who haven't been here for a few days," He glances at us, "We've been working on dueling, simple combative dueling." His eyes focus on me and I swallow, "First up, is Kol and Katara."

I grimace and Lee chuckles softly, the sound a little to cut off and obstinate. Ty Lee and Haru give me an encouraging look. I wonder if this is his idea of punishment. I withdraw my sword, I spent almost my entire life in the Water Tribe sparring with either Chan or Sokka, I can do this.

Kol takes a stance, his eyes flicking up to mine and narrowing.

I turn my weapon in my hand slightly, my hand gripping the leather handle- but not too hard. I know Kol is going to take the first swing, so I let him. It comes powerful, the edge of his sword coming dangerously close to my neck. I step out towards the side and bring out my sword from behind me, swinging hard. I focus on my back leg, just as Fire Lord Zuko had instructed me to do.

I'm aware of all the eyes watching us- all the older and more experienced soldiers.

I don't give him a chance to swing again as I swipe hard, my sword coming close to his arm. He takes a step back but then a large one forward before he swings. He steps before he swings. I take his flaw to my advantage, when he steps, I swing, he steps back and tries again, but I swing again and again.

My arms burn as I hold the sword with both hands and swing, Kol blocks hard and both our swords clash loudly, the sound reverberating through my mind. He grunts before stepping, I turn and swing, catching him off guard, he inches backwards a moment before the blade would have made contact. With a growl, Kol lunges forward.

My eyes fly open as his boots scrape against the ground. I turn my arm, bringing the sword into a blocking position and I brace my legs for the impact, the sound is painful to hear. I swing at him- suddenly parrying with ease, swordplay is like dancing- certain steps must be followed or else it would all fall apart.

My thighs burn as I swing again and again. I heard General Chan's words.

"Good," A brief nod seen from the corner of my eye, "Very good."

With a clang- both our swords meet once again. There was no doubt Kol was stronger than me, but he couldn't compare to my speed. I surge forward, my arm come down again and again, twisting and turning. I relish in the smooth ache that lines my shoulder blades with each step I take.

Still- Kol somehow keeps up, his steps matching mine as he returns each blow and counters each strike. He moves with an ease I've never seen him move with before. I pull my arms back, square my shoulders and swing, there's the clashing sound again. I meet Kol's eyes for a slight moment between each of our laboured breaths before he swings again.

"There's something you should know when sparring with me, Kol," I say to him when our swords meet again, only loud enough for him to hear.

His left eyebrows twitches, "And what's that?" He bares his teeth like an animal.

In one quick movement, I grab his arm and push his knees out from under him and he falls to the ground, a pile of limbs and anger.

I point my sword at his chest, "I never lose."

His eyes narrow into slits as he pulls himself up onto his elbows, dangerously close to the blade at his heart, "I think this would be a good time to point out the amount of times you couldn't even throw a proper punch."

I don't let his comment bother me- and I won't let them bother me, not anymore. Instead I smirk, "I'm not the one with a sword at my heart."

Chan claps a few times, for me. I glance at him and he's nodding at me in satisfaction but surprise. The last emotion makes me bristle, serves him right for thinking my punishment would be dueling Kol. I pull my sword away and force myself to hold my hand out for Kol- because I know the others are watching.

Kol gets up in one swift movement, not even touching his hands to the ground or using mine to get up. He shoves my shoulder hard before walking back to the others. I walk back to my spot and watch levelly as another pair duels- both of them older elite soldiers.

Before we're dismissed, Chan gives us brief news, "In two days, there will be a ball held- as it is every year- to welcome the coming of Winter. As elite soldiers, you are not expected to be guarding as of now, but if it's absolutely necessary that we need more guards- I'll be asking a few of you personally to guard during the ball. The rest of you are welcome to attend the ball."

Excitement fills my stomach as I turn to Ty Lee as we walk back to the palace, who's eye brighten for similar reasons as mine are. I hear Lee and Haru groan at the same time, "This is _definitely_ a girl thing." Lee says. I roll my eyes and Ty Lee sticks out her tongue.

She turns to me, "I can't _believe_ we're allowed to go to one of the Fire Lord's balls! What are you going to wear- oh we _have _to get ready together, we can do each other's makeup and there's this dress in my closet that I _know _will look perfect on you!"

I grin from ear to ear as Ty Lee fills my mind with stories of past balls. I've never been to a ball but all I feel is excitement as she speaks endlessly about it- even throughout dinner. Lee walks past us, "Are you guys _still_ talking about the ball?"

Ty Lee places her hands on her hips, "You're just saying that because you probably don't even know how to dance."

Lee smirks as he grabs a tray, "On the contrary, I am well skilled in ballroom dancing."

I laugh as I imagine Lee strutting on a dance floor. I grab a seat next to Ty Lee and spend my entire dinner listening to her ramble on. She barely allows me to get a word in edgewise, but I don't complain. For once, I'm hanging on to every word she says.

When I walk into my room, my mind is still wrapped up in thoughts from the ball. I can't help it as I prance towards the dresser and pull it open. I can't see Mei anywhere, so I rummage through the dresser, searching for a dress I could wear to the ball.

"What are you so happy about?"

I whirl around, just as Mei walks into the room, a pile of clean suits in her arms.

I drop the dress I'm holding and it gently falls to the floor in a pile of expensive cloth. Her lips spread in a slow smile, "I see someone's already heard about the ball?"

I pick it back up from the floor and hang it back on the hangar, "I just wanted to look at the dresses- sorry."

She laughs and walks over to me, snatching the hangar from my hand, "Why are you apologizing? These are _your_ dresses," She begins rummaging through the closet, "You'll have to wear something that goes with the winter theme."

She pulls out a series of dresses, rambling on about them. She sighs slightly as she pulls out another dress, "This one- would be perfect," She says. I look at the dress; it's the palest shade of blue- almost looking white, with a lace neckline and a thin lace bodice. It releases in gentle folds at the waist with fitting white sleeves. It looks like a dress that should belong to an angel.

My eyes continue staring at the dress; I hesitantly reach out and touch it, as if just with my touch, its delicacy could shatter into pieces. Mei smiles, "You'll look beautiful in it." The butterflies of excitement flutter in my stomach and I smile at Mei.

* * *

**What did you guys think? What did you think about Liu's death? Are you excited to read about the ball? Please leave a review!**


	26. Chapter 26

**Enjoy! And don't forget to leave a review!**

* * *

I'm still caught in with thoughts of the ball when I walk into the breakfast hall the next morning. I rush to Ty Lee and she smiles at me. I'm bursting to tell her about my new dress, right as we sit down, my mouth opens, "I found the dress I'm wearing."

Her eyes widen, "What? And you didn't even show me?"

I smile, "You'll see it at the ball."

"What colour is it? What does it look like? Come _on_ Katara!"

I hear Haru and Lee groan, "You have got to be kidding me," I hear Haru mutter under his breath. Lee snorts as he sits across from me, he turns to Haru, "What colour is your dress, Haru?" He asks in an abnormally high voice.

A laugh escapes my lips.

* * *

Lee swings at me again- harder than before and I step back- caught off guard. I don't have a chance to strike before he swings again, right at my feet. There's a heart stopping moment where I feel the earth slip out from beneath my feet, I wait to feel the impact of slamming to the ground, but Lee catches my arm just before my back slams to the ground.

I hear Chan yell something about us getting off the sparring platform. Lee pulls me up and I brush myself off.

"What was that?" Lee hisses as we walk off.

I shrug, "I wasn't paying attention."

"Or I beat you."

"Or, I wasn't paying attention."

"_Or_ I beat you," I shove Lee and he stumbles slightly. I know I was off my game today, but I couldn't care less. My mind is still wrapped up in thoughts of the ball. I stretch out my arms as I feel the cool air whip against my face, reminding me of home. I begin walking back to the palace when I hear Chan's voice, "Katara, Lee, Fuji, Gen- stay behind."

My mind stumbles and I freeze in place as Lee whirls around. General Chan stands with his arms crossed over his chest, waiting for us to walk over to him. I will my legs to move forward.

He doesn't waste his time on the conversation, "You four will not be able to attend the ball, you'll be helping with guarding the gates."

My stomach begins to sink until I'm sure it's just left my body. _This _is what he chose as punishment? He dismisses us and I ignore Lee and the others as I rush to my room. I slam the door shut hard and collapse onto my bed- ignoring Mei's startled look.

"What's wrong child?" She reaches my bedside and she pulls the covers off over my head. I pull them back over my head, she huffs, "Tell me what's happened."

I sigh and lay on my back as I look up at her, "General Chan says I can't go to the ball."

Her eyes widen, "What? Why? That's crazy, of course you can go! You're an elite soldier-"

"We left the palace walls a couple of weeks back- my friends and I- he said there would be repercussions, I guess these are it," I roll onto my side.

She pulls me up so I'm in a sitting position. She sits down on the foot of my bed, straightening out the sheets, she sighs, "You'll spend the entire time guarding the gates?"

I nod miserably, trying to feel something other than sadness.

She's quiet for a long time, "Well I hear it's a masquerade ball, so it can't be _that _fun."

I glance up at her, "What's a masquerade ball?" I ask her, my lips testing out the word I've never spoken before.

She smiles weakly, her eyes wrinkling, "Everyone comes wearing masks, covering their faces-"

I'm up on my knees, "That's it!" I yell louder than I should considering Mei jumps, "I could wear a mask- _you- _you could get me a mask and then I can go, no one will recognize me."

She lowers her eyebrows.

I plead with her, "Please- I promise I'll do the rest on my own, I just need a mask, and if I get in trouble- this has nothing to do with you."

I can tell she thinks this will be a horrible idea.

"_Please _Mei, I've never been to a ball and I was really looking forward to going and-"

She sighs, "Fine, but I helped you with nothing."

Before she can utter a word, I throw my arms around her. She laughs beside my ear.

The next day, as the other soldiers were assigned places to guard for the ball, I listened carefully to Chan's instructions and then slipped out of sight. I know there will be repercussions, but at this moment, I couldn't care less. I rush back to my room and Mei- staying true to her word- left behind a beautiful silver and light blue mask that will cover a bit more than half of my face on my bed.

I smile saucily as Mei walks into the room, holding a pair of sparkling silver shoes, grinning.

* * *

The Fire Lord holds his forehead as he listens to the arguing, growing louder and louder like animals in a jungle. The council meetings had all fallen apart after the recent death of Nox- the assassin sent by the Earth Kingdom. The constant debate of what to do was still continuing, so- like usual, he holds his forehead, listening to the yelling until everyone quiets down.

The pounding in his head grows to a sharp pain before the silence consumes the meeting. He glances up at all the General's- waiting for his input on the whole issue. It was times like this when he was reminded of his horrifying past and the scar on his face; it was times like this where- even though he was the only ruler- he would hesitate to speak.

He clears his throat, "I agree with General Feng," the General straightens up from being mentioned, "Sending in a large amount of troops will cause a deflect in the plans of the Earth Kingdom- and it will result in having a downfall in our Kingdom. But if we wait for a while longer- hold back on our attack- we can grow our army, round up more soldiers and even try to get some Earth Kingdom villagers to surrender before the attack even happens."

He stands up and motions towards the map with the flags marking the territory the Fire Nation has rule over, "Or perhaps, we could wait until the Earth Kingdom strikes again- we all know that we're on the verge of a war, if we take the time preparing for this war, we can have the first step in it all."

General Chung stands up, his back arched from age, "Your highness, if I may?"

The Fire Lord nods, sitting back down on the throne that seems to be growing rather uncomfortable.

"If we wait any longer, who's to say the Earth Kingdom won't be sending in anymore assassins, in this case- no one can be trusted. There's no possible way of knowing who's to trust, but if we attack now- with a powerful attack- we could wipe out a good portion of the Earth Kingdom."

And then a few more generals speak up, and the Fire Lord sinks back into his throne as he watches another argument unfold in front of his very eyes.

* * *

Yards of silk, clouds of powder, brushes, combs and all sorts of jewelry glisten before my eyes. Mei watches through the mirror as she meets my eyes, she smiles warmly. She arranges the last strand of hair that was left uncurled and secures the mask over my nose. Her fingers work deftly as she ties it behind my head, carefully folding my hair over the tie. I look at my reflection, or at least the parts I can see of my reflection.

My cheeks are flushed and a bright colour is applied to my lips- thankfully not red. The dress gleams in layers against my skin, the lace making its way up my neck and I smile at my reflection. Even the tightness of the corset doesn't wipe my smile away as I stand up and twirl around. I look like some sort of a princess.

"I can barely recognize you!" Mei exclaims.

I face her, "Good."

She polishes my shoes and then helps my feet into them. I stand up, rather unsteadily. Her face looks slightly worried, "Are you certain this is a good idea?"

I glance down at my shoes, "I've walked in heels before."

She laughs shortly, "Not the shoes, all of this-" She gestures to my appearance. I turn to look in the mirror again, "I'll keep to myself, I doubt anyone will recognize me, and besides, I told you not to ask any questions."

She ushers me towards a full length mirror. I stare at my reflection, my entire reflection, wondering if I'm seeing correctly, "This is the most beautiful dress I've ever seen," I say under my breath, spinning around for what seems like the millionth time.

"You could win a hand of a Lord looking like that," Mei says from behind me.

I turn to face her, "Where on e_arth _did you find this dress?"

She smiles again, "Don't ask questions."

I smirk, "Fair enough."

As the clock strikes nine, Mei ushers me out the room, "How exactly are you going to get into the ballroom? I doubt the guards will just let you prance in."

I give her a sly grin, "You're going to make a fuss about me being late- say that I'm invited personally by someone important, they can't object to that."

We near the ballroom and both stop walking. I look to her, "Ready?"

She shakes her head, "God help you child," And then she gives me a shove, "Hurry!" The guards look up from standing next to the enormous decorative doors, with large glass paneling, "Hurry! The Fire Lord won't be pleased if you're late!"

Her voice is a little too loud to be all that convincing, but the guards don't protest as they take in my appearance, they simply open the doors, stepping slowly as the large doors swing open. I keep my steps in check as I hold one side of my dress up, taking careful strides through the doors.

The ballroom is an enormous room bedecked in all sorts of winter decorations, large crystal sculptures and vases fill the room, small glittering lights hang from the ceiling making it look like snow, reminding me of home. A colossal chandelier hangs in the center, glittering and gleaming a beautiful shade of white. The entire room looked like something straight out of a fairy-tale of some sort.

I can't help it as a grin spreads on my face, the sounds of waltz fill my ears and I watch as hundreds of people, all gleaming in different sets of clothes and jewelry, dance to the music. The butterflies in my stomach take flight as I spot Ty Lee standing with a group of other girls.

I don't stop myself, it won't take Ty Lee long to recognize me, so I may as well show up now. I walk up to her and she glances up at me briefly before looking away, I smile as her eyes snap up again, her mask gleaming, "Katara!"

I hold my hand to my lips as the group of girls surrounding her face me. Ty lee rushes up to me and wraps her arms around me, "You look beautiful! But what are you doing here? Did Chan let you come?"

I shake my head, "I kind of just came."

Ty lee gives me a warning look but turns to her friends, introducing me. I relish in the few minutes of heaven before I hear his voice, far too close to be comfortable. Ty lee's eyes widen and I hold my breath as I turn around and face General Chan, his eyes are ablaze with anger- he's not wearing a mask, obviously unwilling to partake in the festivities.

He grabs my arm which is finally void of the cast, "Follow me soldier."

I try not to draw attention to myself as I'm practically dragged across the ballroom to a corner by Chan. I pull my arm away from him as he glares at me, "What do you think you're doing?" His icy voice fills the area around me. It's only then that I realize how stupid this entire plan was.

Who _wouldn't_ recognize me?

"I asked you a question soldier."

I look up at him, wondering if he has a heart buried somewhere under all the unnecessary piles of muscle, "I just- I really wanted to come to the ball, and I thought you wouldn't mind-"

"You disobeyed my orders."

"I just-"

"Did you not understand my orders?"

"I-"

"Or were you just stupid enough to think I wouldn't catch you."

My throat closes up.

"Go back to your room," He says, his voice a blade.

My throat grows raw, "W-what?"

"Go back to your room and change; you'll be guarding the balconies."

I stand frozen, wondering if he really means the words he's uttering.

"Did you not hear me?"

I touch my mask, "I did, I just thought you were joking."

"Oh believe me soldier, this is no joke." His voice raises slightly, "Now go back to your room and change at once."

I'm swallowing back emotion as I nod stiffly. I force my head down as I walk past the ballroom, the doors are open and I hear one of the guards say something- but I don't even process his words. I walk down the long hallway until I see a turn. I pull off my heels and run.

I push open the door to my room and catch my breath as emotion clogs my throat. Mei sees me first and rushes towards me, "Oh dear, what's happened?"

I hold my breath as I walk past her, "Chan saw me; I have to change into my soldier suit," I walk into the washroom, tearing the mask off my face and setting it aside. I grab a washcloth of wet it, wiping it over my face, removing the layers of makeup. Mei helps me remove the corset and I pull on my soldier suit, grabbing my sword and a dagger. I tuck the dagger into a small lapel in my uniform, "Katara-" Mei starts.

"If I'm late, he'll ruin everything even more," I cut her off, slamming the door to my room shut behind me. I try to contain my emotions as I walk towards the ballroom, the soldiers don't glance at me twice- obviously not recognizing me as the girl who walked in only an hour ago dressed in one of the finest dresses imaginable.

Chan doesn't say anything as he leads me towards two large back doors, stretching all the way to the ceiling, completely made of glass. He pushes them open and a few people glance in our direction as a cool gust of air blows through the doors. It's a large balcony, barely lit up with a few torches along the walls. A long staircase beside the balcony leads to a large garden, filled with all sorts of flowers and the red fire lilies that gleam in the darkness.

A gust of cold air hits me and I shiver. Chan looks at me, "You will not move from this post until every single person has cleared out of this room, do you understand or shall I repeat my words a few more times?"

I force myself to nod as he turns away, pushing open the doors, giving me a gust of warm air and music and then just like that, it's gone, a mocking slap in the face. I'm left in the darkness and coldness of the balcony. I lean against the edge of the balcony, near the side where I have a clear view of the ballroom, but where no one from the inside will bother to look out from.

I watch as hundreds of girls twirl around with their partners, their dresses shimmering in the light of the chandelier, their faces flushed from dancing so much but their faces wide with smiles. The first thing I feel is jealousy. _It's not fair_. They've probably been to _hundreds_ of balls, and I'm not even allowed to go to one. I can hear muffled chattering and I look towards the doors, sure enough, the Fire Lord has made his entrance. I get up and stand on the tips of my feet to try and see him, but he's crowded. I sigh and lean back against the balcony again, brooding in my jealousy.

He- being the young, unmarried Fire Lord- takes his rounds dancing with every single girl in the entire ballroom by the looks of it, and I watch each and every single dance, my eyes growing sore and tired of watching the same expression pass by every girls face.

The night drags on and it seems as if hours have passed, and no one- except for me is tiring. My body has resorted to shivering to keep warm, I should have brought a cloak, it seems that I've grown immune to the warm days in the Fire Nation, and now that its winter, I'm chilled to my bones. The worst thing of all to see is the giant buffet that no one seems to be laying a hand on, my stomach grumbles loudly and I slouch against the wall.

The faint sounds of waltz music drift outside of the doors as I stand beside them. I continue repeating the words in my mind. It's not fair. It's not fair. It's not fair. I look back in the ballroom and the jealousy hits an all-time high when I see Ty lee dancing with the Fire Lord her pale pink dress billowing behind her as she twirls, she's laughing and his eyes are lowered, but I can see him smiling. Ty lee has been to multiple balls, why isn't _she _standing out here?

It's a stupid and immature thought, but I can't help hanging to it for another hour. It's even worse that I have no idea what time it is- or when I'll finally be allowed to come inside. I curse Chan multiple times- over and over again until my mind becomes tired.

I walk over to the door and hesitantly pull it open slightly, to try and warm my body, no one notices. I wedge my foot in the door and press my back to the door as a wave of warm air and music washes over me, warming me up. I sigh and stand for a few minutes, before I bend down and start unlacing one of my boots. I wedge the boot between one of the doors, so it stays open slightly. Enough that I can receive the warm air and the music.

I mimic the position I've seen hundreds of girls stand in, curtsying slightly as I look up at my partner of thin air. I place my arm on his shoulder and another arm holding one side of my suit, imagining a dress, I pull it up high enough so my one boot shows through the fabric. I take a slow step to the side, before turning and stepping faster. Matching my partner's steps. I count in my head as I've seen plenty girls be muttering while dancing- as to not forget or make a mistake while dancing.

One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four.

I follow my partner's steps, turning slightly in a twirl. I smile as I speed up my steps, a rush going through me as the cool air crashes against my face. I hold my arm up high as I twirl again, imagining my silver, blue dress shimmering in the darkness, casting shadows over my face. Imagining hundreds of girls watching _me _in jealousy of my dress and my handsome partner. I've never danced before, but watching so many pairs must have done me some good.

I twirl again and come to an abrupt stop, my smile wiping clean off my face as I see the Fire Lord standing, one hand still on the door as it closes, but gets caught in my boot, an expression caught between amusement and disbelief captured on his face, as if he's not sure whether to laugh or turn around and pretend he never saw me. His hand is still clenched on the mask that he must have just removed.

I feel heat fan my face, but I look at him levelly. I watch, in dismay, as his lips turn up into a smile. I sigh, looking away from him, "I was bored to tears and had nothing else to do, I- I just wanted to try and dance, laugh if you want, but you're not the one who stood out here for half a day."

His smile fades slightly, "Why aren't you in the ballroom?"

I huff, "Because your stupid General told me I had to guard," Frustration fills me, "And I came ready for the dance, after I had picked out the perfect dress, and he told me to go and get changed, and then he told me to stand out here until everyone left the ballroom. And I've been watching all of you dance the entire night away, and I'm starving and cold and-" There's tears welling in my eyes and I'm shocked at how I'm reacting, but I can't keep them back.

My voice trembles, "And it's _not _fair, I was so excited." A tear slides down my cheek and I wipe it away furiously, "But I still wasn't allowed to come, I've never even been to a ball before and- and Ty Lee-" I look away from him, "Everyone in there goes to balls all the time- they dance whenever they want- and I wasn't even allowed to come to one of them and now I'll be the only girl who hasn't danced tonight!"

He's watching me, his expression unreadable.

I kick at the ground, "So laugh all you want." I finish and wipe away the tears that continue streaming down my face, suddenly embarrassed. He smiles slightly, his lips tilting up as he looks at me from where he's standing. He's wearing finely made robes that sweep down to his ankles, accentuating his golden shoes, with his hair pulled back in his crown, "I wasn't planning on laughing."

I look away from him and lean over the balcony, looking out towards the garden, "Then why are you here?"

He stands beside me, copying my stance of leaning over the balcony, the scarred side of his face faces me, "I came here to get some air, as I always do during these balls, I didn't think I'd find you trapped out here."

I scowl at him.

He turns around, so his back is to the garden. The cool air makes me shiver again, but he seems unaffected as he stares levelly through the glass doors, "I doubt you'd want to be in there for as long as I was anyways."

I cross my arms, "Well, I wouldn't know," I reply sarcastically.

He nods towards the doors, "Go in there if you want, if I'd known you were out here, I would have asked you in a long time ago."

"Cha- General Chan's going to ruin whatever is left of my happiness here if I step inside."

He laughs and I glance at him, "You said you didn't come here to laugh at me." I wipe my eyes again, clearing off my tear stained cheeks.

"You're an elite soldier who made it through the obstacle course in record time and you couldn't stand watch for a while?"

"I'm guessing you came here to mock me?" I retort, "And what's there to watch anyways? The sky as it darkens or you dancing with every doleful girl in the room."

"You're jealous?" His golden eyes look at me playfully.

"No- God no- but I can't say its particularly fun watching all of you enjoy yourselves."

He chuckles slightly before turning to look at me, "Trust me, the balls aren't as fun as they seem," He leans his elbows on the balcony, "It's just going to result in having sore feet tomorrow for everyone."

I glance down at his shoes, "You're one to talk, you're wearing slippers."

He shifts his foot, "They're not as comfortable as they look; its solid gold."

I clamp my hands under my chin, "How modest."

He breathes, "Clearly." I can't help remembering how cold his words were when I asked him about where Nox was being taken, how clipped and distant he had seemed. It doesn't seem like the same person standing next to me. He doesn't seem like the same person who had lit Nox's body on fire and watched as he was engulfed completely in flames, expressionless and emotionless.

I was so unsure of him. He wasn't someone who I could read- he was far more than someone I could understand. I don't know what his motives are, I don't know anything about his family, and I barely know anything about _him_. There's so much I feel that he keeps concealed beneath layers of himself, that he doesn't want anyone to tear away.

I wish I _could _pin him down, I wish I _could _understand him. But he's an empty slate in my mind, and that's what scares me. I've never been this confused about someone.

And I know- I know the only way to get my father back is to kill him, but my mind seems stale as I try and imagine killing him. He's far too…alive to be killed. It seems as if no matter how many daggers I bury into his chest, the piercing brightness in his golden eyes will never dim. I swallow hard.

"What are you thinking?"

His words cut through my thoughts. I take a deep breath. It'd be a moment like this that would be perfect to kill him. I could entomb a dagger right through his heart, and jump off the balcony and be well away from everyone and everything until someone found him and even thought to come after me, but the thought is something foreign to me, and the action- unthinkable, as I look up at him and shake my head, "Nothing."

He slowly takes a deep breath, "I don't know how Nox got through the soldiers, but him committing suicide changed everything, and I know you think it's harsh to burn his body, but I had no other choice," He turns to face me, his golden eyes suddenly so sharp as they meet my eyes.

"If I hadn't set his body on fire, it would have disgraced the entire fire nation. I know you were scared- and I'm sorry," His voice gets caught in the air before he swallows and looks up suddenly. I feel a strange feeling in my chest as I watch him, staring desperately at the darkened sky for answers. Because he's human, he must have felt _something _when he burnt that body. Because despite what he stands for- he's still a human. He still must have emotions and feelings.

"I didn't know what else to do; spreading his ashes was the only way that I could think of to somehow teach the Earth Kingdom a lesson."

And at that moment, I want to tell him- I want to replace the confusion and confliction in his eyes with understanding and relief. I want- so badly to be able to relieve him, for a few minutes of the weights he always seems to be carrying, my throat tries to make a noise, but nothing comes out.

"And I know you think it's cruel and that I'm _cruel_, but what would you have done, when you have an entire nation waiting for you to make the right decision?" I don't know why he's suddenly telling me so much, as if we've been sharing our feelings for so long, but I can't help it as I look away from him. I can't bear to look up to his golden eyes any longer without having the guilt tear me down to my bone.

"I don't think it's cruel," I finally manage to say. I pull the strands of hair away from my face and turn to him, truly seeing him for the first time in all these months, "What happened to him was cruel, but that doesn't make you cruel."

His jaw is shut tight and a muscle jumps in his jawline as he turns to face the garden once more, "Then what does it make me?"

"Human," I look up at him, "It makes you human."

My words draw a blanket of silence between us both for a number of minutes. But it's a type of silence that's comfortable; neither of us is forced to fill it with words. I listen to the silence as I look out at the Fire Lilies that Chanzai had once showed me.

"You've never danced with anyone?"

I blink as his words break the silence, I shake my head slowly.

"You seemed to dance fairly well on your own."

"Watching everyone dance for hours must have helped somewhat," I reply, I nod my head towards the doors, "Shouldn't you be in there?"

He shrugs, suddenly watching me cautiously, and it's strikes me how alarmingly handsome he looks as he watches me, his long eyelashes sending shadows fanning over his cheeks.

He suddenly holds out his hand, inclining his head, "Dance with me?"

His words send a wave of heat over my face and I look up at him with wide eyes, "What?"

"You didn't hear me?"

I touch my lips with the tips of my fingers, "N-no, it's just-" I breathe, "I'm sure there's plenty of people waiting inside for you to dance with them and- I'm not sure how to dance, and I can barely hear the music-" I stop speaking.

His hand is still outstretched, "Dance with me," He repeats, his voice smooth and confident in his words.

I hesitantly take his hand and try to calm myself as he wraps an arm around my waist. I place a shaking hand on his shoulder, holding his hand with my other hand, allowing the contact to warm me. I look up at him as he begins to move- a slow step, then another, and another, easing into the steady rhythm of a waltz.

He leads me and I try not to stumble, but can't help it as I trip over his feet a few times. He doesn't seem bothered, just steadies me and continues with the steps. Every step he takes is charming and well-rehearsed and I would be trying to speak, trying to smile, but I can't.

Somehow we're both past the action of smiling.

It's the thought in my mind that paralyzes me. The dagger in my lapel, so close to my reach, so easy to finish this entire mission and get my father back. And the Fire Lord- so off his guard, so trusting in my presence. It's so easy- too easy. My hand itches to pull it out and finish him off, but my eyes sting as I try to imagine my hands covered in his blood, or his body, crumpling lifeless onto the ground.

He spins me, the moonlight catching in his golden eyes, setting them shining. And then I'm hit with a pang of guilt so painful, so agonizing, I abruptly stop dancing. He doesn't say anything as I pull my hand away from him, and take a step back. My hand twitches to reach for the dagger, in his eyes; once again, I see nothing. He's emotionless as suddenly as the emotion had come.

I take another step away from him as the scream climbs up my throat. He's still watching me, no weapon to fight back. I can do this. I can do this right now. I'm reaching into my lapel and he just watches me as my hands shake violently and then the doors open completely and my hands drop to my sides.

Fire Lord Zuko turns to the doors. An old man stands at the doors, with greying hair, a beard and a large stomach. I shut my eyes tightly and re open them. The old man laughs loudly, a booming kind of laugh that echoes in the silence, "Was I interrupting something?"

He's definitely royalty, but the way the Fire Lord scowls at him makes me wonder who's side he's on, "Uncle- I told you that I just needed some air."

_Uncle? He has an uncle?_

His uncle turns to look at me, ignoring the Fire Lord's words, "You never introduced me to your lady friend."

There's a storm brooding in his eyes as he glances over to me, "This is Katara, an elite soldier. Katara, this is my Uncle- Iroh." The words speed out of his mouth and he walks past his uncle, "I was just leaving." I watch, in complete and painful silence as he walks through the doors, kicking my boot aside.

The old man steps aside as he leaves, he then smiles at me. His eyes are warm as he stares at me, "Please excuse my nephew, he's awfully short tempered these days," He smiles wider, "It was a pleasure to meet you Miss Katara, but I just came out here to look for Zuko, there's many people waiting for him to return."

I nod in dumbfounded silence.

"I'm sure we'll meet again," He glances at the boot for a moment before shrugging and walking through the doors, shutting them for good. I would say something in farewell, but somehow I'm past the emotion I should be feeling. The music drains from the air around me. I grab my boot and pull it on and spend the rest of my night holding the dagger in my hand, turning it over and over again, wondering what the hell is wrong with me.

* * *

**I actually really enjoyed writing that chapter. **

**Tell me what you thought!**

**What did you guys think of the ball? The dance with Zuko and Katara? The ending? And Uncle Iroh's finally in the story? **

**Please leave a review, any future predictions, any questions or criticism. Thanks again for reading!**


End file.
